


Aperture

by silverdoll14



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, Established Relationship, Family, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5529425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did you hate me when I didn't fight for you before?" Sho asked before it was too late. The other man paused and then turned to look back at him. The other looked up, thinking intently before looking back at Sho and shaking his head, "Maybe at first... But then you made me realize that something that is perfect isn't real happiness, and so instead, I'm thankful."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Half Time

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted at my livejournal account with same name.
> 
>  

_Aperture (ap·er·ture)_  
_Meaning:_  
_\- an opening, hole, or gap._  
_\- a space through which light passes in an optical or photographic instrument, especially the variable opening by which light enters a camera._

 

 

 

It took a couple of minutes before a man named Sakurai Sho managed to wear his pants and zipped it. It was the same while putting on his dress shirt. It wasn't like he was hurrying to get dressed, but then maybe he grew conscious of the eyes staring at him that he was having a struggle in doing a simple task.  
  
"You know, I feel violated when you're staring at me like that." He complained playfully while putting on his tie which he too was having a hard time in doing. It seemed he always failed to do such simple tasks like this in the presence of the other man. He gave up and sat in the bed, facing the other man with a pout.  
  
The other man chuckled, sitting up from his lying position earlier. His nakedness was only covered with a cheap blanket the hotel provided. It was draped in his waist and below. He reached for the silk tie draped around Sho's neck before using it to pull the businessman closer so he could tie it better.  
  
"Why feel so violated with only just that when I have done so much more just awhile ago?" The other man replied, a smirk marring his strong features.  
  
"Well, that I don't deny... But-," Sho admitted after pretending to think about it for a couple of minutes. He could see the other man already frowning at him, but it turned into a smile when Sho pressed his lips against the other man’s lips. It turned a lot deeper as they aligned their heads for better access, the other man's hand in Sho's nape. They were at it until there was an insistent ringing coming from Sho's pocket, and he needed to pull away. Nonchalantly, Sho checked his phone, while the other man looked away, silently dejected.  
  
"I got to go." Sho announced after, wearing his coat and reaching for his briefcase next. He looked back at the other who was facing him indifferently, far from the sad look the latter had just a moment ago. Sho gave the other man a chaste kiss and stood up. He was ready to go.  
  
Before Sho could walk away, the other man grabbed his hand, stopping him. Sho was a second too late in turning around to see how the other man flinched after a cold metal bond in Sho's finger made contact in the other man's palm. When Sho was staring back at the other man, the latter had a straight face already.  
  
"When are we going to meet again?" The other man asked him. Despite the display of blankness, Sho could hear a quiver of uncertainty in the other man's voice.  
  
"Goodnight, Matsumoto-san." Sho bid farewell instead, and he left with a pang in his heart.  
  
When he arrived home, Sho was welcomed with darkness. He wasn't new to it, but it always felt different whenever he came home from meeting a lad named Matsumoto Jun. Still, he'd say, "Tadaima."  
  
He changed his leather shoes with his house slippers, heading inside afterwards. He draped his coat on the hanger, and loosened his tie while softly tossing his briefcase in the sofa upon arriving at the living room.  
  
Sho found himself standing by a shelf, housing a dozens of books he deemed as his favorites. It was divided with different topics, but one section was empty. In it, there were two picture frames. One was a picture of two young males in their early twenties with eager smiles, arms slung around each other as their cheeks were pressed together. The other was a picture of a man and his wife who was carrying a child. The two pictures had two different auras. One was bright and happy while the other was gloomy and forced. The only similarity on it was the fact that both were pictures of Sho in some points of his life.  
  
Sho sighed as he stared at the first picture, a fond smile in his face, but it turned into a pained one when he turned to the second picture frame. He raised his left hand in front of his face. A glimmering golden ring was cozy in his ring finger. Sadly, it was far from being snug as Sho wore it every day.  
  
With another sigh, he removed it from his finger and placed it in front of the second picture, heading to his bedroom afterwards to call it a night.


	2. One Ring

"Please look up to your right. Then lift your arms a bit."  
  
Instructions were heard. Clicks of camera echoed. Flashes of light illuminated the room before it was call a wrap.  
  
The photographer looked at his shots in the small screen of his camera with a grin of satisfaction.  
  
"As expected of Jun-kun."  
  
Jun looked to his side and saw his assistant peering over his shoulder, trying to see the shots before they walked towards the computer – where the pictures were digitally transferred through the wireless connection – for edits later on.  
  
"Thanks, Mao-chan, but I think it would be better if Satoshi-kun is here though." Jun said when he saw his shots through the bigger screen.  
  
"I assume Ohno-san is out fishing again." Mao piped in which made Jun sulked. Ohno Satoshi was Jun’s friend, and also his sort of partner in the business. He was also the main photographer of their studio, and Jun couldn’t help but sulk that his friend ditched work for today.  
  
"I don't think so." Jun answered, contemplating before a grimace graced his face as he remembered something. Jun would know if Ohno was going fishing because the latter would always notify him. If it wasn't fishing then there could only be one another reason why Ohno would do such a thing. Not that he did mind, it was just one photo shoot for today after all, and it wasn't something big.  
  
"Now that his boyfriend is back from America, they are probably catching up some..." Jun left the sentence hanging since he didn't want to traumatize Mao. Mao had met Nino – Ohno's boyfriend – before though. By then, she probably had an idea about how those two love birds openly showed everyone their affection for each other – as in how they couldn't keep their hands off each other.  
  
"Well, you can't blame them. Nino-kun could only come back in Japan twice a year... four at most. So they would surely make the most out of it.” Mao stated when they went to the table where Jun's gadgets were placed.  
  
“Please! Those two are just having too much fun traumatizing people with their public display of affection.”Jun scoffed, packing up for the day.  
  
“I’m not against it though. They are probably just in love, and they just want to tell the whole world about it.” Mao shrugged, helping Jun in packing up.  
  
Jun made a face at Mao’s statement, rolling his eyes before he defended, “You’re just lucky you didn’t chance on them in their worst moment.” Jun exasperated.  
  
“What do you mean by worst, in the aspect of argument or position?” Mao asked, looking at Jun innocently, but the implications in her words were far from it.  
  
“Inoue Mao!” Jun puffed, feigning to be scandalized at first before he and Mao ended up laughing about it. Yes, Mao was used to it already. No need to be worried about traumatizing the lady.  
  
There was a pregnant silence as they continued, carefully putting Jun’s gadgets in their respective bags. Once finished, they made their way to the storage room of the studio, greeting the other staffs along the way.  
  
Mao broke the silence between them after some time. “How about you, Jun-kun?”  
  
“How about me?” Jun asked back for clarification. They reached the room, and Jun opened the door for the two of them. They were going through the rows of shelves, finding the one where they would be returning the gadgets at the last one.  
  
“How about you and your lover?” Mao finally asked when they started putting the bags carefully to where it was originally placed.  
  
“No, I don’t have.” Jun corrected. He was going to ask the other why she thought he had one. Instead, he got the bag Mao was carrying since she couldn't put it to the higher shelf.  
  
“Eh? How about the guy you met in the club before?” Mao continued to interrogate Jun, making his eyes dilate in recognition of whom Mao was talking about.  
  
Jun cleared his throat, placing the last bag he had in the shelf before murmuring, “Ah, no... It’s just a fling or something.”  
  
“Eh? I thought you guys had that different kind of something.” Mao wondered as they walked out of the room. Jun answered it with a shake of his head as he made his way towards his office, followed by Mao. He thought Mao would let it go, but it seemed otherwise. “I mean you guys clearly have chemistry. I was so sure it would lead into something.” Mao continued, her eyes flashing with curiousness and tease. “And by something, I mean something deep and not just thrust deeper...” Mao chuckled.  
  
Jun stopped by his desk, chuckling softly. Mao’s joke was funny especially with how Mao elaborated it with hands. Sadly, Jun couldn’t bring himself to laugh at it. Mao seemed to notice his reluctance about the topic. Thankfully, she didn’t push it. She left his office with an excuse of checking who their next client would be.  
  
Jun slumped on his chair, exhaustion in his face. It wasn't entirely because of the photo shoot he finished, but it was also the mental breakdown Mao's question triggered. He wasn't mad at Mao though. He rather predicted Mao would get to that point, but then it was a topic he didn't really want to talk about. More like it involved a person I really don’t want to talk about.  
  
How long had it been when everything started? Four months ago? Seven months? Or maybe it had been a year? No. Jun wasn’t counting, but he was sure the moment they met, something pulled him to be attracted to the guy.  
  
It was a club in Ginza, a celebration when they closed a deal of being the official partner of a known magazine in photo shoots. Co-workers, friends, and alike celebrated in the dimly lights of the club, dancing and drinking with different kinds of people. Some hit it off with others, some chose to spend having a blast with their significant others, and there were some who chose to be sober enough so that they could go back to work without dealing to a hangover tomorrow. Jun was one of thosewho chose the latter(more like the only one).  
  
Jun could get all the fun he had in the night actually. It was a day off the next day for everyone anyways, but he chose to lie low for tonight and let his subordinates have all the fun. They deserved it.  
  
From his sit, he was observing around in silence, drinking a can of beer when Ohno, who was sitting beside him, spoke. “Not going to drink much?”  
  
Jun shook his head. He really didn’t feel like drinking at the moment.  
  
“It’s okay to have fun you know.” Ohno teased, making Jun to chuckle.  
  
“How about you then? You don’t seem to be drinking much either.” Jun interjected, pertaining to Ohno’s pace in drinking.  
  
“Nino’s calling later. I don’t want to be asleep by then.” Ohno reasoned, and Jun nodded in understanding.  
  
Ohno and Nino had been dating for quite a while. The two met when the former came to New York for a little vacation. From then on, it hit off quite remarkably. Both would contact each other as much as they could no matter how inconvenient the time differences were. They made it official when Nino came back to Japan for his own vacation. At some point, Jun was actually surprised with how their relationship progressed. Jun didn't peg Ohno to go that serious to the point he didn't mind the long distance. Still, he was just really happy seeing his friend contented with the relationship.  
  
The couple's activities needed to be watch out though. Those two – more on Nino's part – couldn't keep their hands off each other. Jun was one, or more like the only one, of the victims to chance on them in Ohno's office just because they forgot to lock the door. Not that Jun was traumatized by it, but those kinds of activities were something he would like to be kept private. It wasn't that bad, but by knowing Nino, Jun knew he would never hear the last of it from then on.  
  
Jun drank from his can, his eyes aimlessly gazing towards the crowd until it landed in the bar section. For some reason, he couldn't get his eyes away from it, or rather from someone. Even if Ohno excused himself with a phone at hand, Jun only spared his friend a nod, his eyes never leaving the man standing by the bar. Jun looked at him probably longer than the time he looked at the models he took pictures of.  
  
Jun’s breathe hitch when the man suddenly looked at his direction, making him fidgety on the spot because he was caught in the act. The guy though was kind enough not to completely embarrass him. The man had a gentle smile directed back at Jun. By then, Jun couldn’t stop himself from standing up and approaching the stranger.  
  
Jun would have say that he was bewitched. No man or woman had an effect like that on him. Bewitching and spells were only part of fairytales, and Jun would like to think this one wasn’t. As he crossed the dance floor to get to the bar, their eyes never lose the contact, both curiousness and anticipation sparked in their eyes.  
  
“Hey!” The other greeted once Jun was in front of the man.  
  
Jun smirked before replying. “Hey yourself~” He nodded to the bartender and ordered a stronger drink. Screw the plan of coming to work tomorrow. He was the one who declared day off for everyone, and that included him.  
  
Jun stood beside the stranger. It wasn’t that close, wasn’t that far either.  He leaned his back in the counter. Once again, he observed the crowd after getting his drink. Through Jun’s peripheral view, he could see the stranger was blinking at him, probably waiting for him to talk. Jun should have. He was the one who initiated their staring contest awhile ago, but Jun already felt satisfied just standing beside the man. He couldn’t really bring himself to actually make a conversation with the stranger.  
  
“I guess I assumed wrong when I saw you looking at me...” The stranger spoke. “You were probably looking at the racks of drinks behindme.” The stranger added with a sigh.  
  
Jun smirked, liking how things turned to. Jun faced the counter, sipping from his drink before looking at the stranger who was observing his every move. He leaned towards the other and asked, “What made you think like that, Mister-?”  
  
“Sakurai Sho.” The stranger, Sakurai replied. “Well, you aren’t talking to me till now... Mister?” Sakurai added, copying how Jun ended his own question before.  
  
“Matsumoto Jun.” Jun supplied, drinking from his drink before adding, “...and I assure you... you assumed right.”  
  
Sakurai’s smile grew wider, the same time Jun’s did. With that, Sakurai Sho had entered Jun’s life.  
  
Jun would like to think that this was quite unexpected. Jun wasn't one to be attracted to a person at first, and usually he would go straight in getting his hands on someone's pants. Maybe he got matured through the years, or maybe Sakurai was just really different from the ones he had met so far in this kind of circumstance. He wasn't even sure how it happened, but they found themselves back to the table where Jun's co-workers and friends were, chatting over things. It even felt like Sakurai was part of their group from the start. With how the other man blended with him and his friends, Jun wouldn’t think their first meeting just happened earlier. It was pleasant, and Jun found himself enjoying the night more than he intended to. For the record, he hadn’t gotten his hand to the man’s pants yet.  
  
It was already a quarter to eleven when their company was thinning for the sake of calling it a night. By that time, Jun learned a lot of things about Sakurai. He was a graduate from Keio University, majoring in Economics. Now, he worked as a Stock Analyst in one of the prominent companies in Tokyo. He was almost two years older than Jun, and travelling was one of the things he enjoyed the most. Matsumoto-san turned into Jun-kun, and Sakurai-san turned into Sho-kun. When they too called it a night, Sho had invited Jun to a late night dinner. The younger male wasn't one to decline. Sho had promised he knew a place that served tasty soba after all.  
  
Jun had far more enjoyed their dinner. He thought they already ran out of things to talk about, but he was wrong. If Jun would be completely honest, he wasn’t one for long conversations especially if the topic didn’t interest him at all. He would let actions do the talking. Yet here he was listening to Sho’s talk about economics and politics. Jun got to admit, the older male had his way with his words, continuously engaging him through topics that Jun found boring before.  
  
A half an hour after midnight, Sho and Jun found themselves walking. This time it was in silence, a comfortable one.  
  
“Going straight home?” Sho asked, and Jun could sense apprehension in his words. It was like he was choosing the right words to say.  
  
“Yeah, it’s pretty late, and I might still come to work tomorrow.” Jun answered, stopping by under the light of a street lamp to flag a cab that would pass by. Sho stopped beside him. When he looked to see the other, Sho couldn’t look straight to his eyes.  
  
“So…uhm.” Sho mumbled, rubbing his nape for the lack of something to say. Jun thought Sho was so cute. He couldn’t stop himself from finally leaning in and capturing the lips that he had wanted to kiss from the start. Just as he predicted, it tasted sweet. There was a faint taste of brandy, the soba sauce and cigarette. The combination wasn’t great to begin with, yet Jun didn’t mind because the way Sho responded to his kiss was all he needed. Their lips were dancing, and Jun was drawn closer as he felt Sho’s hand on his neck before trailing his jaw gently. They pulled away when breathe was needed, but not far away that it felt they were breathing each other.  
  
“Come home with me?” Jun whispered, but it was loud in the silence of the empty street provided. Jun felt his cheeks reddened. Although he wasn’t one to be prude with these things, there was something in Sho that made him blush.  
  
Sho nodded his answer, pecking the side of Jun’s mouth before nodding again. “Yeah.” He breathed, and Jun felt there was bubbly feeling in his chest.  
  
Rather than waiting for a cab to pass by, the two of them walked through the empty street. Their destination was Jun’s apartment, and neither one minded the long walk. Their hands were intertwining, keeping them warm in the cold night.  
  
The moment the door closed after arriving at Jun’s apartment, they couldn’t really keep their hands to themselves. As they venture inside, they had their hands roaming at each other's bodies, their lips connected into passionate kisses, and their clothes casted aside along the way. They were completely naked once they arrived in the bedroom, and Sho had Jun pinned down against the mattress. When Sho pulled away to look at him, the other’s eyes were filled with want and lust. Jun unconsciously licked his bruised lips, his breath ragged just like Sho’s.  
  
Sho’s lips attached itself in Jun’s jaw, trailing kisses downwards till reaching a perky nub. One of Jun’s nipples was between Sho’s teeth next, while the other was played at by Sho’s hand. Jun trashed his head side to side, moaning and gasping as Sho’s other hand went to his hips. The older male pulled it closer, making their erections grind when Sho rolled his hips.  
  
“Aaah!” Jun yelped, feeling a pleasurable jolt running through his veins when Sho kneaded his butt. Sho’s hips were rolling against his again and again, and Jun couldn’t just settle with just that. “I want you now.” Jun moaned huskily and quite demanding when Sho attacked his lips once again. He couldn’t control himself, but he wanted Sho inside of him now.  
  
Sho pulled away when they were breathless once again with the kisses, looking at him quite amused. “Not fond of foreplay?” He asked. “Not that I’m complaining.” He added when Jun made a face.  
  
Rather than replying, Jun pushed his hips against Sho’s, emphasizing his want. Sho's groan was guttural, but he was clearly amused. The other brought his fingers against Jun’s lips, and without a word, Jun sucked on them. He was looking at Sho’s eyes as Sho watched him attentively. He didn’t mind that a drool was trailing the side of his lips because it seemed Sho was enjoying watching him doing it.  
  
Jun’s breathe hitch, when Sho licked his own fingers already coated with Jun’s saliva. It was hot and so sensual, and Jun felt a twitch in his groin at the sight. Sho proceeded in licking the trail of saliva in the side of his mouth, making him gasp with his mouth open. That was the time Sho slipped his tongue in Jun’s mouth and two fingers were inserted in Jun’s tight hole.  
  
Sho muffled Jun’s moans through the kisses, adding another finger as the older male kept on thrusting inside him. Jun’s hands were tangled in Sho’s locks before finding its place in Sho’s shoulders.  
  
“Now.” Jun managed to huff when Sho’s lips tugged on his lower lip. Sho pulled out his fingers next, positioning himself properly between Jun’s legs. Sho teased Jun’s hole, outlining it with the head of his shaft that was leaking of pre-cum. Jun groaned in frustration, making Sho to chuckle.  
  
“Sakurai- Mph!” Jun wasn’t able to finish calling out Sho’s name because that was the moment the older male shoved his member in while kissing Jun’s mouth fully once again.  
  
Sho’s pace was slow at first, letting Jun to adjust at his length. When Jun started moaning in pleasure, the speed increased. The sound of skin against skin blended with their moans and groans filled the room. Smell of sweat and sex filled the air. Jun found himself holding to Sho, his hand around Sho’s neck and his legs around Sho’s waist. He was holding for dear life as Sho targeted his sweet spot over and over.  
  
“Jun…Jun...” Sho puffed against Jun’s ears, nibbling at it as he pleased. His hand was in Jun’s back, a support and comfort. His other hand was against the mattress, his pillar as he rammed inside Jun relentlessly.  
  
“So... so close.” Jun whispered, biting his lips as he tightened around Sho, before finally giving in. He released his load between them.  
  
Sho’s thrusts became frantic for he too was close. With Jun tightening around him, he followed a second later, releasing inside Jun while moaning, “Jun...”  
  
The two of them collapsed with Sho careful enough not to crash over the younger male. They were catching their breaths. Cum and sweat were covering their spent bodies.  
  
It was Sho who recovered first. “Where’s the bathroom?” He asked, making Jun raise his eyebrow in amusement.  
  
“You’re honestly thinking of cleaning right now?” Jun asked back playfully. His eyes twinkled with tease.  
  
“Well, as you can see, I don’t mind being dirty.” Sho pointed out, his eyes gazing down to emphasize that he was sporting Jun’s cum rather proudly in his naked glory.  
  
Jun’s eyes did an overlook on Sho, nodding in agreement. “That I could I see.”  
  
“I’m just trying to be a gentleman, making sure you’ll have a proper sleep by cleaning you first.” Sho explained.  
  
“Who said I was going to sleep?” Jun said as he seductively licked his lips. Sho’s grin widened, following what Jun was trying to say behind those words. Jun forgot he was planning to come to work in the morning especially when Sho started fucking his brains out.  
  
It was the start of their relationship. Sadly, it was something Jun couldn’t put a label on. They could be fuck-buddies since their meet-ups usually ended up with sex. They could be friends since they did communicate outside of their bed activities. There were times they would eat out, trying different restaurants because both of them enjoyed good food. (Well, it was more Sho who was an eager eater while Jun would like to add the list of his recipes he wanted to try.) There were also times when Sho would spend his weekends with Jun.  
  
 _Are we dating?_ Jun wanted to ask Sho about it, but he didn’t have the courage. He also noticed how Sho could be distracted at times. It happened most of the times when Sho looked at his phone, waiting for something. Those instances worried Jun. It felt like Sho wasn’t telling everything. Jun didn’t voice it out though. He chose to just observe.  
  
Months into this, Jun noticed Sho’s reluctance in telling him more personal stuff unlike when they just started. Sho’s excuses when leaving or couldn’t meet up with him were unnatural also. Jun could tell that Sho was hiding something. The fact that Jun hadn’t been in Sho’s home solidified his suspicion. Despite all of it, he was more frightened of what Sho would revealed him if the time came.  
  
Jun put a blind eye about it. As much as he didn’t want to be tied up to whatever Sho was keeping, Jun didn’t want to lose Sho either. But there were times, he couldn’t stop asking himself, _“What are you hiding Sho?”_  
  
His questions were only answered one morning after Sho came suddenly in his apartment late the previous night. Jun didn’t mind the sudden intrusion in his home. He didn’t mind the rough intrusion in his hole either. Sho had fucked him in the wall just by his closed apartment door since Sho could wait no longer. Then there was also him bouncing in Sho’s member as the older male leisurely sat in the sofa. Of course, being in his hands and knees as Sho rammed inside him in the bedroom was another story.  
  
Jun was the first one to wake up between them, slipping away from Sho’s protective arms. He thought of making a breakfast as he got a new shirt and a pair of boxers from his cabinet. They had left their clothes by the genkan, and the thought of it made Jun go there first after getting dress.  
  
The moment when he chanced on Sho’s trousers as he picked it up was the revelation he had been asking. He was folding it when something was dropped. Jun bended down to picked it up. Jun’s eyes widened as it mockingly shined in Jun’s eyes. Jun felt a pang in his chest.  He couldn’t be mistaken from it because he saw a lot of it already. He knew he was invading Sho’s privacy when he got Sho’s wallet inside the pocket of the older male's trousers. Still, it didn’t stop him in doing so.  After opening it, he saw a picture of Sho carrying a baby in his hands. Pride and happiness could be seen in Sho’s face.  There was also words written sloppily in the lower right side, but Jun could recognize it was Sho’s handwriting.  
  
“My beautiful son...”  
  
Jun’s head turned towards the direction of his bedroom, and a lonely tear drop trailed his cheek.  
  
It was almost seven in the morning when Sho woke up after. The older male strolled towards the kitchen in a pair of sweatpants that was probably left in Jun’s apartment before. In the kitchen, Jun had been waiting. He was sitting in front of the table, nursing a cup of coffee.  
  
“Good Morning.” Sho greeted with a smile once he saw there was a plate of omurice and also a steaming cup of coffee waiting for him.  Sho’s smile turned into a frown once noticing Jun’s silence. The older male had no idea what was going on. “What’s wrong?” Sho asked as he sat down in front of Jun in the other side of the table.  
  
Jun had a small smile next, but it looked like it was forced. He heaved a sigh before putting down the half empty cup of coffee. He got something from his pocket. His hand fisted it tight before taking a deep breath. He looked straight into Sho’s eyes which were showing curiousness and confusion at the same time.  
  
“You are married, Sakurai-san.” Jun said directly, and without a beat, he reached out his hand, opening his palm to show Sho what he meant.  It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, and no matter how futile it was, Jun wished he was wrong. Sho proved it otherwise. The older male’s eyes enlarged. Panic was clearly written in Sho’s face, and Jun knew what he found out was true after all.  
  
Jun wasn’t happy with what he learned. Well, it wasn’t really something to be delighted at. At least, it did defuse the mystery covering Sakurai Sho. Yet there was another mystery that coated this relationship – or whatever it was that they have. It wasn’t something about Sho though. It was about himself and his next words.  
  
“I don’t care if you are married, you have a kid, or not. J-just...” Jun started, surprising the both of them, but Jun didn’t back out and continued, “...wear this even if we are together, but don’t ever mention it again.”  
  
Sho was utterly shock with what Jun said. He, himself, was shock too. He just had the right mind to mask it with indifference.  
  
Jun would like to think that he was crazy and stupid. Well, he really was after saying those things. If he could, he probably had been beating himself already for his stupidity. Yet he didn’t find it in himself to take his words back, not even to regret it. All he had in him was the energy to stand up from his chair, reaching for Sho and crashing their lips together.  
  
The breakfast Jun made was forgotten, scattered along the shards of broken plates and mugs after he crossed the table, sitting by the edge as Sho stood up between his legs. Their kisses were hungry and fervent. Sho was inside him in a beat after discarding their clothes sans Jun’s shirt. Jun’s legs were around Sho's waist as the older male keep on thrusting inside him, going deeper and faster. Jun held Sho just like their first time, hiding his tear streaked face in the junction between Sho’s neck and shoulders. Although this time, Jun was holding Sho because he couldn’t let go.  
  
  
  
Jun’s reverie was cut off when his phone beeped, alerting him that there was a new message. When he checked what it was, he instantly packed his things and headed out. He wasn’t going home though, he was meeting someone.  
  
 _From: Sakurai Sho_  
 _Subject: Soba_  
 _Message: “I’m in the restaurant right now, having soba. I thought you might like some.”_


	3. Two Choices

  
It was one morning when Jun was in a room. There was a shelf in front of him and a box of toys at his side. He was sitting on the floor, putting the toys from the box in their rightful places in the shelf. Jun paused for a while, looking at what seemed to be a soccer ball for kids he got from the box he was emptying.  
  
"Soccer huh?" Jun murmured. There was a fond smile in his lips as he remembered _someone_ through it.  
  
_Sho loves soccer._  
  
Although he was distracted, he couldn’t help but squirm from time to time. The floor wasn’t the best place to sit at the moment.  
  
"Rough night?" Jun looked up, raising an eyebrow at his sister who just entered the room with another box. Juri, Jun's older sister, was a teacher in a kindergarten. If he had time, he would come there and play with the children.  
  
  
"I’d rather say it was satisfying." Jun grinned, but it turned into a wince a second later. He was trying to put another toy back to the shelf when the movement made him quite uncomfortable again. He was still sore after all. Juri, who noticed it, had a hearty laugh before joining him. She sat beside him and helped him in arranging the toys.  
  
"I'm glad you help out here from time to time, but you do have work too. Is it okay to be absent?" Juri asked.  
  
Jun smiled. "Don't worry. It’s okay. Today is a slow day anyways." He reassured her before taking out the last toy from his box. There wasn’t much happening in the studio anyways, and he trusted his subordinates would do just fine without him there. "And I'm the boss so they don't have a say on it." Jun added, wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
Juri hummed in response, but Jun could feel there was something else his sister would like to add. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“You  have that look again.” Juri turned serious all of sudden. Her words had effectively paused whatever she and Jun were doing.  
  
“What do you mean?” Jun asked, but he had a vague idea where their talk would be heading.  
  
Juri sighed, biting her lower lip and having second thoughts. Jun nudged her by bumping her shoulder with his, urging her to continue. Juri looked up and smiled faintly. “When are you planning to settle down?”  
  
Jun sighed, expecting that her sister would say that. He shrugged, and resumed putting the remaining toys from the box her sister brought in this time.  
  
“Jun...” Juri urged Jun to tell what was in his mind.  
  
“I’m settled.” Jun admitted, but the look in his eyes told Juri there was something more. Before she could speak, Jun cut her in it. “I’m settled in my own way.”  
  
Juri heaved another sighed. If Jun told her so, then she’d let it be. She was sure everything would be okay.  
  
“There you are.”  
  
The siblings turned to the door where the sound came from. There, they saw Nino and Ohno standing by.  
  
“Ohno-kun! Nino-kun! Long time no see!” Juri greeted them. She stood up and gave each a hug. “Welcome back, Nino.” Juri added when she hugged Nino.  
  
“And I thought you guys wouldn’t get out of your hole.” Jun shouted from where he was sitting. A smirk was in his face. He didn’t bother to stand up to give the newcomers a proper greeting though. His position there was already comfortable enough.  
  
Jun wasn’t expecting the couple to be there that day, but he had expected they would drop by sooner or later. Ohno usually came here with him to entertain kids with art stuff before. Nino joined them when he and Ohno started dating. From then on, whenever Nino came back from America, the couple would make sure to come in the kindergarten as much as they could with or without Jun. Not that Jun did mind, everyone was welcome to help out anyways.  
  
“I miss you too, Jun-pon.” Nino said, blowing a kiss in Jun’s direction. Jun would have given him a finger, but then they were in a place where kids might pop up any time. They might see it by chance. Plus, his sister would surely strangle him. Ohno and Juri laughed in the background.  
  
“Ah, it’s good that you are here Ohno-kun.” Juri said to Ohno. “The kids are always looking forward to seeing you draw something for them.” Juri clapped her hands, making Ohno smile. Ohno looked at Nino, asking for permission in silence. Nino chuckled and nodded.  
  
“Shall we?” Juri asked, leading the way. Ohno followed after placing a kiss on Nino’s temple. Nino entered the room, taking Juri’s place in helping Jun organize the toys.  
  
“Rough night?” Nino smirked, making Jun groan.  
  
“Is everyone going to point that out? Really?” Jun scoffed in disbelief.  
  
“I’m just asking.” Nino grinned, raising both hands in mock surrender. Their conversation then adjusted to a lot of trivial things. It consisted of Nino’s time in America, of projects and photo shoots Jun and Ohno participated at, and things they just liked to talk about.  
  
“If everything is settled there, I might finally come back here for good.” Nino declared as he stood up  to put the empty boxes aside.  
  
“Really?” Jun looked at Nino excitedly, waiting for him to elaborate more.  
  
“Yeah. I just need to finish one more project when I go back there. After that, I’m practically free.” Nino said. He walked towards Jun, stopping in front of him with a dreamy look in his eyes.  
  
“I’m happy to hear that.” Jun said honestly. “Just please don’t make Ohno absent when there’s an important photo shoot.” He added mischievously.  
  
“Hey, what can I do? Make-up se- Umph!” Jun abruptly stood up and covered Nino’s mouth before the latter could spurt out words not appropriate for children to hear.  
  
“Umph~ Whedwo!” Nino struggled, and for some reason Jun felt his sadist side surging out of him. Maybe it was payback since he was sure Nino was the reason why Ohno didn’t come to their last photoshoot.  
  
“Nope.” Jun deadpanned, grinning in victory until something caught his eyes by the door.  
  
Jun let go of Nino’s mouth instantly. He fidgeted, and he hoped Nino noticed it since the latter seemed to be ready to pounce at him at any moment. Thankfully, Nino did after following his gaze. By the door, a boy was standing, looking at them with his round eyes.  
  
Jun and Nino felt embarrassed. They weren’t expecting to see a kid in that area at that time. Everyone was gathered already in the eating hall since it was snack time. Also, if Ohno was there already with Juri, then they’d probably proceed to do some art stuff.  
  
Jun tried to salvage the situation, approaching the kid. He squatted in front of him and asked, “Are you lost, boy?”  
  
The boy didn't reply. Maybe he was afraid of admitting that he was indeed lost. He just looked back and forth between Jun and Nino, settling on looking at Nino in the end. Nino approached them, squatting beside Jun. “Hi there. You’re new here, right?” Nino said.  
  
Now that Nino mentioned it, the boy was unfamiliar in Jun’s eyes. He had been visiting the kindergarten as frequently as he could, and by then, he probably knew each kid in the kindergarten. This was the first time he met the kid, but there was something similar with the kid that Jun couldn’t pinpoint.  
  
“What’s your name then?” Jun was the one who asked this time.  
  
“Shojiro, Mister.” The boy answered courteously while facing him.  
  
“Shojiro huh?” Jun heard Nino muttering in his side, but didn’t comment at it. He was the rather curious with the boy.  
  
“Should we join your classmates then?” Jun asked, and Shojiro nodded  as a reply. Jun smiled at the boy,  extending out his hand for the boy to take it. Instead of doing that, Shojiro reached out to him, silently asking to be lifted up. Jun laughed with delight, granting the kid’s request. He lifted Shojiro up, who instantly hugged him back. Shojiro hid his face against Jun’s neck, making the adult to chuckle. Once he was sure the kid was secure in his arms, Jun made his way towards the eating hall to join the others.  
  
Jun didn’t notice that Nino hadn’t followed him there. The latter just stood in the same spot, looking at them with amusement and interest in his eyes.  
  
  
  
It was already half an hour after two in the afternoon when Jun went back to the classroom. He had been in the kitchen, helping out the cook in preparing the afternoon snack for the kids. The students were scrambling around. Some chose to play with toys. Others chose to stay with Ohno to continue drawing. There was a group listening intently to Nino who was reading a story animatedly. One student though was alone in a corner, reading a book.  
  
Jun smiled, quite amused with the serious way the boy read his book. For some reason, it reminded him of someone. He just didn't know who.  
  
"I see Shojiro-kun has gotten your attention then?"  
  
Jun looked to his side, finding Becky, another teacher in the kindergarten, standing beside him.  
  
"He's new?" Jun asked. He didn't get to ask his older sister earlier when he arrived with Shojiro in the eating hall. Juri had ushered the boy to eat while some girls monopolized his attention because they had missed him.  
  
"Yeah. I think he just started attending here last Monday since his family just transferred from Chiba." Becky explained. Jun nodded at that, continuing to observe the boy. Maybe that was why Shojiro was still reluctant to interact with anyone.  
  
"Who's his mother?" Jun asked before he could stop himself. He was really curious who were the parents were. There was just really a resemblance he could see within the child, which he was still trying to figure out.  
  
"I think her name was Yuka-san? I'm not sure though. I only saw her once since she rarely  picks up Shojiro-kun, and  when she does, she’s usually late." Becky replied. Jun noticed how Becky  became sad after saying the last sentence.  
  
When Becky excused herself to pacify some kids who got into an argument, Jun decided to approach Shojiro. He had nothing to do anyways, so he might as well be useful.  
  
"Hey, aren't you going to join the others?" Jun asked tentatively. Shojiro looked at Jun like he was considering whether to ignore him or to say something. Shojiro opted on shaking his head in reply.  
  
“Why not?” Jun asked, sitting in front of the kid, his legs crossed like Shojiro’s.  
  
“I want to be alone.” Shojiro replied stubbornly. The boy might have irritated others with his attitude, but Jun only felt amusement.  
  
“Come on! Let’s see what you are reading.” Jun said, moving to sit beside Shojiro. The boy was glaring at him, watching his every move intently. Jun didn’t let it bother him, examining the book instead. “You can read this on your own already?” Jun asked in amazement. “Wow! You’re good!”  
  
Jun could see the boy’s eyes glinted with happiness at his praise, shyly nodding, “There are words I can’t...” the boy added afterwards, looking at the book Jun was now holding. Jun was pleased with the way Shojiro was responding at him. Shojiro was still careful around people. It was probably because he was from Chiba, and everything was still new to him. _Well, that’s a start._  
  
“Then, read it to me. If you don’t know, then ask me okay?” Jun encouraged. He could see the Shojiro’s eagerness to learn after all.  
  
Shojiro smiled, seeming to like the idea. He didn’t even protest when Jun asked him to sit between Jun’s legs. He just comfortably sat there, reading out loud as Jun guided him along the difficult words.  
  
Jun didn’t mind explaining words Shojiro found confusing. He was patient, and he could see happiness in Shojiro that he didn’t see before when he first met the boy. Maybe that was why Jun was drawn to Shojiro from the very start.  
  
Things got more interesting from then on for Jun. Although he didn’t hear from Sho for quite a while again, things were still eventful. It wasn’t like it was the first time Sho did this. Jun did notice that his contact with Sho had dwindled through the weeks, and he wondered if something was wrong. He winced at the thought that Sho’s wife might have found out about their affair.  
  
Coming to the kindergarten was the distraction Jun needed. He felt sorry that he started neglecting his real work. He could only check about the studio’s status in the afternoon after his time in the kindergarten after all. Mao diminished his worry. She said that it would do him good to be surrounded with kids, joking that it could remove his Mr. Stoic image. Plus, it was fun to boss around while he was gone. Their workload wasn’t that heavy during those months in any case. It wasn’t that their work was busy this season anyways. Jun was glad that he could focus his attention on things other than his work and Sho for a while.  
  
Ohno and Nino were on the same boat as him – except for the part about Sho. Juri was delighted how everyone was willing to help out since they were short in hands. One teacher was in a maternity leave while a staff was recovering from an accident. The children didn’t object either, and neither did the parents upon learning about the situation.  
  
Jun noticed Shojiro had been following him since then. If he played with others, Shojiro would silently play along too. If he read books to some kids, Shojiro would listen to him intently. Jun found it cute because although Shojiro was hiding it, Jun could see that Shojiro had been trying to get his attention.  
  
“If I had a say on it, I’d say the kid has a crush on you.” Nino joked one time when he and Jun stood by the tree, watching as the kids played in the playground.  
  
 “Don’t be like that.” Jun laughed. When he noticed Shojiro waving at him, Jun waved back gleefully before the boy ran again. Jun was glad that Shojiro was now opening up to everyone in the kindergarten, mingling with his classmates and playing with them.  
  
“Do you know who Shojiro’s parents are?” Nino asked out of the blue.  
  
“Arimura Yuka-san.” Jun replied, pertaining to Shojiro’s mother. He had a chance on meeting her one time when she picked Shojiro in the kindergarten. Jun was around that time, noticing how sharp and elegant Shojiro’s mother looked. “I never met his father though.” Jun added afterwards. He was about to ask Nino why the latter asked. Before he could, Shojiro had dragged him to play along. Jun couldn’t really say no. He didn’t want to remove the smile on Shojiro’s lips, and Jun always loved to see that.  
  
Too bad it didn’t last long because Shojiro had a frown in his face when classes had ended. He was sitting by the porch of the school. Each of his classmates had gone home already, but he was still there waiting for someone to pick him up.  
  
“Arimura-san hasn’t arrived yet?” Jun asked her sister after he got off the line with Mao, who was giving reports about the well-being of the studio. His sister, who had been observing Shojiro, shook her head.  
  
“Doesn’t she know when the class ends?” Jun asked. Annoyance was evident in his tone.  
  
“Well, it isn’t the first time this happened.” Juri stated sadly. Jun cringed at that. He remembered Becky saying the same t about Shojiro’s mother.  
  
“Have you talked to her?” Jun asked. This might be him prying too much, but it was about a child’s welfare. He was sure his sister didn’t mind.  
  
Juri shook her head again. Jun clicked his tongue. He needed to take the matters in his hands. He might not be Shojiro’s teacher, but this was all about Shojiro. Jun couldn’t help but be protective of the kid, although he wouldn’t admit it out loud.  
  
“Onee-chan, tell Arimura-san to meet me at the park two blocks away. I’m going to treat Shojiro to some ice cream.” Jun said without a beat, surprising his sister.  
  
Before Juri could say anything, Jun went to Shojiro to tell him about his plan, to which the child readily agreed. The two then set out to the ice cream parlor near the park hand in hand.  
  
About an hour later, Jun could see Shojiro’s mother walking towards them. Jun had been waiting, sitting in a bench in a park with Shojiro already sleeping on his lap. Once again, Arimura was looking sharp as ever in her business attire, yet Jun could tell how tired she was. He initially planned on scolding her. Children must be the parents’ first priority after all. But then, Jun couldn’t really have a say on it. He wasn’t a parent after all. Maybe a talk would just be fine. It wouldn’t hurt to get to know more about Shojiro’s family right? Plus, by the look of it, it seemed Arimura needed someone to talk with.  
  
Arimura gave him a small bow as a greeting when she approached them. With Jun’s position, he could only give a brisk nod as a reply.  
  
“He fell asleep huh?” Arimura said, fondly while looking at the bundle of joy in Jun’s arms.  
  
“Yeah, he had been running around earlier.” Jun replied.  
  
As if knowing he was the subject of the talk, Shojiro stirred in his sleep, snuggling closer as possible against Jun’s chest while mumbling something incoherent.  
  
Jun made a silent chuckle, caressing Shojiro’s head to urge the boy to continue sleeping before he settled his hand in the boy’s back. When Jun looked up, Arimura was smiling at him, before sitting beside him. She planted a kiss on Shojiro’s forehead.  
  
There was a pregnant pause between them. Jun couldn’t bring himself to speak. Although Jun wanted to ask questions, he couldn’t. He was afraid he would be prying in Shojiro’s family. _Well, you already are idiot._ Jun scolded himself.  
  
“Shojiro speaks a lot about you, Matsumoto-san.” Arimura broke their silence. Jun looked at Arimura before looking back at Shojiro with a gentle smile.  
  
“I would really like to thank you for everything you have done for Shojiro.” Arimura added next.  
  
“I didn’t really do much, Arimura-san.” Jun denied, although he really felt overwhelmed knowing Shojiro noticed his efforts, and so did Arimura.  
  
There was a sigh from Arimura after that. It was tired and long, and Jun wanted to ask what was wrong. Instead, he waited for her to speak up on her own. She did after looking aimlessly in the park with a sad smile. “I really feel sorry for Shojiro. He had to go all through this at such an early age.”  
  
Jun was puzzled with Arimura’s words, but he was enlightened a second later as Arimura explained the whole situation to Jun.  
  
Jun learned that Arimura got divorced with his husband almost two years ago. Shojiro was three years old when everything was settled, and the custody was handed to Arimura. They moved back to Chiba and lived with Arimura’s relatives there for the past year. While living there, Arimura landed a stable job in a company branch, earning a promotion to the main office back in Tokyo. Jun could see that caring for a child as a single mother was taking a toll on her.  
  
“My cousin who lives here helps me from time to time. He is fond of him after all... but...” Arimura paused, leaving her sentence hanging. She heaved again a sigh.  
  
“Sometimes, it’s still too much.” Arimura admitted. It made Jun sad. From the sound of it, it seemed Shojiro was a burden. Unconsciously, Jun looked at Shojiro, caressing his head. When he looked up, Arimura was looking at Shojiro.  
  
“I love Shojiro so much. He’s the greatest thing that happened to me… but...”  
  
And there was it again that ‘but’ that alerted Jun. He would have surely been mad with all the things Arimura had been saying, but for some reason, he couldn’t. Somehow, he found familiarity with Arimura’s situation.  
  
“But it’s hard to let go of the opportunity now that I finally got the chance.” Arimura continued her words. “I finally got the chance to make things right for my life again. I want my own start.” She said, looking away dejectedly.  
  
Jun was silent, considering things before he spoke. He found hilarity at the fact how similar yet different his situation with Arimura’s.  
  
_It’s hard to let him go too._  
  
If Arimura had her son to consider whether she would accept this opportunity she was saying, Jun had Sho’s family to think whether he should keep his relationship with Sho or not. These were two completely different situations yet he and Arimura-san found themselves in the same fork road. There were two choices, and one would be completely lost when the other would be chosen. Which of the two would be the lesser evil then?  
  
Somehow, Jun knew Arimura had made her choice. _What about him then?_  
  
It got Jun thinking again. Although it might seem that Jun was nonchalant about his ambiguous relationship with Sho, he was terribly missing the guy. He always did whenever Sho decided to suddenly disappear. There was also fear that lurked in Jun’s mind. He was afraid that one day Sho wouldn’t come back anymore. He knew their relationship was heading to its doom one day under the circumstance, yet Jun kept holding on. What did make him hold onto it anyway? It was complicated, and it brought nothing to Jun but heartache especially after knowing that Sho wasn’t his alone. Sho had his own family, _and family had always been the first priority._  
  
In the midst of his reverie about himself, Jun remembered that someone hadn’t made an appearance yet in Shojiro’s life. He started, “Arimura-san, if you don’t mind me asking...”  
  
Arimura faced Jun again.  
  
“Where is Shojiro’s father?”  
  
There was another pregnant pause. Arimura sighed. “He-,”  
  
Before Arimura could continue, Jun’s phone rang. Thankfully, it wasn’t enough noise to wake Shojiro up. The boy just stirred. Jun let Arimura to take Shojiro in her arms, excusing himself to take the call. When he was far, he answered without looking at the caller’s name. “Hello?”  
  
"Jun..."  
  
Jun’s eyes had widened in recognition. His heart thumped at his chest rapidly. It had been almost two weeks since he hadn't heard his voice, but Jun felt like it was for ages.  
  
“Yes?” Jun answered.  
  
“Can you meet me now? I’m in your apartment building.” The man on the other line asked.  
  
Jun bit his lower lip, contemplating as he looked to the direction of his apartment. He knew that this meeting wouldn’t bring anything to him but heartache again. _It always does._ The voice in the other line wasn’t comforting either. It sounded urgent and sad. Jun was afraid of what would be awaiting him after meeting up with Sho again. Jun glanced back at Arimura and Shojiro, and something snapped inside him.  
  
Jun made a choice because he didn’t want to always go back at this time while asking the _“what ifs”._ It was a selfish choice, but Jun was determined.  
  
“Wait for me there. I’m on my way.” Jun said firmly.  
  
“I’ll be waiting.” The other man replied before hanging up.  
  
He went back to where Arimura and Shojiro were, saying his goodbyes. “I’m sorry, but something urgent came up. I need to go.” Jun apologized, getting his bag. He was about to run off when Arimura called him.  
  
“Matsumoto-san!”  
  
Jun stopped, looking back at Arimura. “Please take good care of my son from now on too.” Arimura smiled, but the way she said it puzzled Jun. It was like she was saying goodbye. Instead of dwelling on it, Jun bowed and headed off.  
  
It took him at least fifteen minutes of running to get to his apartment form the park. Rather than waiting for the elevator to arrive at the ground floor, he took the stairs. It was a dumb decision since his apartment was in the seventh floor, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to see Sho as soon as possible. Jun was breathless when he got there, crouching down to catch his breath. _Idiot!_ He scolded himself.  
  
“Jun?”  
  
Jun looked up, and there _he_ was, standing in front of him and looking worried. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Sho...” Jun breathed out before jumping to the other and crashing their lips.  
  
Sho was startled, but he managed to catch Jun, getting his footing right to avoid falling down with Jun’s added weight. Their lips were dancing, tongues and mouths merged together. Sho put him down when their kisses subsided to pecks. Jun pulled away a little. His face was lingering close to Sho’s, breathing in Sho’s manly scent. The younger male couldn't really get enough of this.  
  
“What’s that all about?” Sho asked Jun, chuckling.  
  
“I just missed you.” Jun replied, hugging Sho without a second thought. Jun felt Sho stiffened in his arms, and Jun wondered if it had anything to do with his previous words. It was the first time he was vocal about it after their relationship turned like this, an affair behind Sho's family.  Jun stayed like that for awhile. He didn’t mind if Sho wasn’t hugging him back. He just needed to feel the older man close to him again. When Jun pulled away again, he grabbed Sho’s right hand and guided the man to his apartment. It was hard on his part, unlocking his door with only one hand. Still, he didn’t want to let go of Sho’s hand.  
  
On the other hand, Sho stayed silent. Jun didn’t mind because he felt words weren’t needed. He felt that if words were uttered by any of them again, it would be something neither of them would like.  
  
Once inside, Sho stopped by the genkan, making Jun stop too. He finally spoke, “I need to talk to you.”  
  
Jun heaved a sigh. Trust Sho to be courteous all the time. Jun laughed inwardly. “Well, you’re here now. Then talk.” Jun said without looking at Sho, but still not letting go of Sho’s hand.  
  
“Jun... I...” Sho stuttered. Jun could feel Sho was nervous, and he wondered what it was about.  
  
“We should stop this.” Sho finally said.  
  
Jun’s eyes enlarged, especially after feeling Sho gently pulling back the hand he was holding. It was ironic that Sho’s left hand was the one removing his grip around Sho’s wrist. Jun could feel the coldness of the golden band against his skin. When Jun looked back, Sho couldn’t look straight back to him.  
  
Jun wanted to laugh so hard at the turn of events. And here he was, trying to salvage whatever it was that they had. On the other hand, Sho had called him because he wanted out.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore." Sho added, sounding solemn, and Jun really wanted to punch the other, so he could remove the sorrow Sho had on his face.  
  
Jun didn't want that. He didn't want pity. _I only wanted you and your love._  
  
Just like Arimura, Jun had made his decision the moment he ran towards his apartment building to meet Sho. He was willing to risk it. He was willing to ask Sho, to beg to the other man to choose him because he knew it at heart that he would love Sho more than anyone in the world. Sho's family be damned! It was cruel, and Jun didn’t care anymore. _It was just that he was in love._  
  
Suddenly, Jun also remembered about Shojiro.  
  
_“I really feel sorry for Shojiro. He had to go all through this at such an early age.”_  
  
Jun took a deep breath. He reached out to Sho's chin to look straight into his eyes. Jun was reminded how beautiful Sho's eyes were, how he was drawn to them from the first time he saw them, and how he always wanted to look at them. No matter how blurred Jun's sight was because of his tears, Jun could still see the beauty in Sho's sad eyes.  
  
Jun had decided then. He would still take his chance, but... "Three days, Sho..." Jun said. His eyes were determined as he looked at Sho. _"Spend three days with me, and at the end, you choose whether it's me or them."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think so far? Who are Shojiro and Arimura-san eh? Nurufufufufu~~~ Any suspicions about the other characters? I dunno if you guys noticed it, but I titled chapters in accordance to their chapter number.
> 
> This is the tentative list of the upcoming chapters:  
>  ~~Half Time~~  
>  One Ring  
> Two Choices  
> Three Days  
> Four Years Old  
> Five O' Clock/ After Fifth Period  
> Six Years Ago  
> Seventh Floor  
> Eight Weeks  
> Nine Miles  
> Ten Shots
> 
> Love to hear from you guys! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!


	4. Three Days

**Three Days**  
  
The moment Jun opened his eyes, he felt warm all over his chest. He was blissful, and it just felt right to be there, waking up to see _his face_ first thing in the morning.  
  
Jun wondered if this was what Juri felt like as she woke up every morning, waking up to the face she'll spend the rest of her life with. Juri had been married for five years already. He'd like to ask his sister sometime because in that moment, he imagined waking up to that same face he was seeing for the rest of his life.  
  
In front of Jun, sleeping in his bed with him was Sho.  
  
Jun had always loved looking at how peaceful Sho’s face was. He also loved how soft Sho’s skin under his fingertips. He couldn’t stop himself when he reached out and caressed Sho’s cheek softly, not to wake Sho up. Right that moment, Jun knew he wouldn't get tired waking up with Sho's face first to see and Sho's body first to touch.  
  
Jun wasn't sentimental. He liked to be practical and realistic. He knew the world wasn't made out of fairytales, and that _'happy ever after'_ was just an allegorical phrase. Jun liked to keep his head on the ground every day. That day wasn't one of those days though. He wanted to be in his own happy bubble just because he could. That day was the first day Jun could have all of Sho. Without thinking, without restrains, it would be just him and Sho.  
  
They had agreed that Sho would be in Jun’s doorstep first thing on Friday morning. They would be spending the time together till Sunday. No work related would be entertained. No other things would be their priority except just the two of them.  
  
Jun chuckled as he remembered how Sho arrived the previous night with a suitcase in toll. It was earlier than arranged, but it was welcomed nevertheless. He just cooked a portion too many for himself anyways, and Sho was just the right person to have the portion Jun couldn't finish.  
  
It was too domestic for Jun's taste, but he loved it all the same. He had known Sho for almost a year and a half. He had this complicated relationship with him. That day was start of the time when Jun could pretend they were a normal couple. He could pretend that Sho had chosen to be with him, and to live with him. For three days, Sho was his and his alone.  
  
Sho was snoring beside Jun, probably still deep in dreamland. He chuckled, finding how cute Sho looked with a little drool in the side of the Sho’s mouth. Jun wiped it gently with his thumb before resting his hand in Sho's cheek. He leaned his face closer to Sho’s. He nuzzled his nose against Sho's and landed a kiss right at it.  
  
Sho's nose cringed in an adorable manner that made Jun chuckle in glee. Jun yelped excitedly when hands wormed around his waist, pulling him closer.  
  
Sho's eyes hadn't opened yet, but Jun knew he was awake.  
  
"Good Morning." Jun greeted, and this time Sho finally opened his eyes.  
  
"Morning~" Sho mumbled, tucking his head under Jun's chin.  
  
Jun got into fits of soft laughter. He could feel Sho smiling against his neck.  
  
"Breakfast?" Jun asked as he drew circles in Sho’s shoulders lazily. Jun felt Sho’s head shaking. There was a mumble. If Jun heard right, the older male said something along the lines of _“Don’t wanna!”_ and _“It’s comfortable here.”_ , and who was Jun to protest. Sho was right. It was comfortable to be waking up in that kind of situation, without a care about when to get up and when to leave the bed.  
  
Sho’s arms had always been warm around Jun. He didn't have a heart to say no to Sho especially because he knew each second was counted. He only had at least two days and eighteen hours left.  
  
_Maybe this was what it meant to savor your last moments with the one you love before the time was up_.  
  
"Let's stay then..." Jun said.  
  
No matter how promising his own words sounded in his ears, or how many more meanings it could have, Jun knew that when he used the word _‘stay’_ , it could only mean staying in bed. That was the only thing Jun could ask Sho at the moment.  
  
Cocooned in Sho's warmth, Jun found himself succumbing to slumber once again. This time, maybe he could dream there was no ‘time’s up’ for this.  
  
  
  
Breakfast happened fairly late. The sun was radiant up in the sky. It was a beautiful day, and it was perfect to be out in the open. When Jun laid the plate of pancakes in front of Sho, he had an idea.  
  
Jun didn't find it odd to be sitting in Sho's lap. The older man’s hands were automatically around his waist as he meticulously put the butter and syrup on their pancakes. He fed himself and Sho with mouthful of it without a word. The only noise that surrounded them was moans of appreciation from Sho. At the middle of their silent breakfast, Jun finally voiced what he had been thinking. "Let's go to the beach?"  
  
Sho stopped munching for awhile when Jun looked at him, waiting for his answer.  Sho swallowed the food in his mouth before placing his chin on Jun's shoulder, closing his eyes while in thought. Jun couldn't help but lean back all the while, loving the feeling of Sho's sturdy chest against his back.  
  
"If you want, I can contact a friend who owns a beach house." Sho started, making Jun turn his head to look at Sho. "It's a four hour drive from here, but it's beautiful. I could ask him if we can spend the whole weekend there." Sho suggested, placing a kiss at Jun's shoulder while looking back at Jun.  
  
Jun smiled, leaning back against Sho's arms as he nodded his agreement. "I like the sound of that."  
  
There was a pregnant pause. Rather than awkwardness, Jun found it comfortable. Honestly, he could really live in his happy bubble forever.  
  
They took their time that morning. Sho was talking to a friend over the phone when Jun started to take a bath. As he submerged his body in the bathtub, Jun could hear Sho's low murmur from his bedroom. Jun closed his eyes, listening to Sho’s voice like it was a lullaby. He didn’t notice he fell asleep already until he felt fingertips touching his cheeks. As Jun opened his eyes, Sho’s gentle eyes were looking back at him. A smile was gracing his lips.  
  
“You’re quite a sleepy head today, aren’t you?” Sho teased as he pulled back his hand, placing it on the edge of the bathtub instead. Sho had his chin over his hand, looking intently at Jun.  
  
“Hmm, maybe?” Jun shrugged. He reached out his finger to Sho’s nose, poking it.  
  
Sho cringed, but he was grinning. Jun ended up laughing because there was a bit of soap foam in Sho’s nose.  
  
“Join me?” Jun asked, and Sho did without a word.  
  
Jun thought he would be turned on as he watched Sho stripped out of clothes in front him. He did, but it wasn't that kind of turned on where he would jump instantly at Sho. It was more being turned on because he appreciated what was in front of him. It wasn't like it was the first time he had seen Sho fully naked. He did countless of times as a matter of fact. It was just that something about that day that made it different. Jun could only stare in awe.  
  
"Like what you see?"  
  
Jun looked up to meet Sho's eyes staring back at him. He didn't reply, but licking his lips was probably the answer Sho needed. Maybe things would get heated up then.  
  
Yet moments later, Jun was just relaxing his back against Sho's chest. He was sitting between Sho's legs as the two of them enjoyed the warm bubble bath. They only shared few kisses. Sho played a bit with his hair, making hairstyles with the help of the soap. Everything was childish, but it was intimate in a way that made Jun's heart flutter in blissfulness.  
  
When it was time to get dressed, Sho suggested they should probably do some shopping here to fill up the beach house once they arrived there.  He was hinting barbeque along the lines, and Jun teased him for it.  
  
"It's probably just your excuse to have me cooking all day long once we arrive. Are you sure you want to be bloated up while we are there?" Jun asked as they locked his apartment before heading to the supermarket.  
  
Sho shrugged with a grin, "Well, it's your cooking so I don't mind."  
  
"Are you even sure you can move when I need you to?"  
  
"Of course I can." Sho said. His face was smug. "No matter how you want it, dear." Sho emphasized while wiggling his eyebrows. He pushed the down button in the elevator and waited till the lift arrived.  
  
Jun was amused, yet he couldn't stop his mind to travel, to think a lot about the things that had happened so far.  
  
There were implications. There was a lot of it to be exact. Jun didn't know whether it was Sho who was avoiding the talk about what was coming, or Sho just let him lead whatever would happen within those three days. It seemed to be the latter since Sho was just following him.  
  
It was ironic because Jun knew their relationship was mainly based on sex. Yet here they were, doing things far than Jun could have imagined with this getaway.  
  
There were only small kisses, innocent touches and simple innuendos. Jun wondered if this would be the kind of relationship they would have if Sho wasn't married.  
  
_"Maybe Sho is just indulging me, giving me the taste of what I can't have."_ Jun thought bitterly.  
  
"We're here."  
  
Jun saw that they arrived in front of the supermarket. As he looked to his side, Sho was beaming at him. Jun forgot his inner sights.  
  
  
  
Strolling between the aisles of the supermarket was uneventful. Maybe not really since bickering with Sho was fun.  
  
  
_"We're going to use sour cream cheese for what?"_  
  
_"Pasta, dear. We’re having pasta."_  
  
_"We're going to eat pasta again for the whole day?"_  
  
_"Then don't eat if you don't want, dear."_  
  
_"Of course, I want. It’s your cooking after all."_  
  
  
_"Pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?"_  
  
_"I don't feel like cooking it for this week.”_  
  
_"Then I'll cook."_  
  
_(Jun glares at Sho.)_  
  
_(Sho puts back that box of pancake mix in the shelf.)_  
  
_"Of course, I won't."_  
  
_(Sho smiles sheepishly.)_  
  
  
  
_"Are we going to put chives in the ramen?"_  
  
_"That's green onion Sho-kun."_  
  
_"Oh!"_  
  
  
  
"Aren't you going to use marinated sauce for the barbecue?"  
  
Jun turned his head away from the aisle of sauces he was standing in front of and faced Sho. "No, I don't put that kind of stuff in barbecue." He deadpanned.  
  
"But it tastes better when there's marinated sauce." Sho insisted after grabbing the bottle of the said sauce near him. He sounded like a five year old wanting to have chocolate syrup on top of pancakes for breakfast.  
  
"Between the two of us, who _does cook_ without burning anything?" Jun grinned, walking closer to Sho. He pointed his finger at the bottle Sho was holding before pointing to the shelf next, his way of telling Sho to put the marinated sauce back to where it belonged. Sho obediently followed what Jun seemed to be ordering but with a pout.  
  
"That's not fair, Matsumoto." Sho sulked. When Jun saw Sho with a moping face, he patted Sho’s cheek with affection _(and also a hint of teasing)._  
  
“Don’t worry, I make my own sauce. I assure you. It’s better tha-,”  
  
“Sho-chan?”  
  
Jun wasn’t able to finish what he was saying after someone cut in. He also felt Sho stiffened under his touch. Even if Sho tried to hide it, Jun noticed how Sho was startled. Sho's eyes shifted to a spot behind him. When Jun followed Sho’s gaze, he saw a lanky man standing near their cart, carrying a basket full of groceries. Although subtly, Jun discerned how Sho created a distance between the two of them.  
  
"Aiba-san." Sho finally greeted back, sounding stiff and too formal all of a sudden.  
  
Jun didn't know how to react. Just a while ago, Sho was acting like a spoiled child, who wanted to be pampered. Now, he was acting like he was caught red-handed in doing a crime. Jun was agitated seeing how tense Sho was around the newcomer.  
  
"It's been awhile since I last saw you." The man, who Sho addressed as Aiba, said. "You haven’t visited for ages." He added with a chirp in his voice.  
  
Jun was perturbed with the exchange. Sho was silent despite of the smile he had. It was forced and strained. Jun couldn't help but wonder who this man was after witnessing how this unexpected meeting affected Sho.  
  
"Ah, yes. It’s been awhile.” Sho finally answered after clearing his throat. Jun noted how Sho couldn’t look at the newcomer straight in the eyes. “I… ‘Um just busy.” He added uncomfortably.  
  
"Have you talked with-,"  
  
"I'm sorry, Aiba-san. But me and my..." Sho cut in, but he couldn't continue not knowing how to address Jun. Sho cleared his throat once again for the lack of words to say.  
  
Realization that Sho couldn’t introduce him as a lover hit Jun hard. He felt his chest aching when it did.  
  
"Huh?" Aiba seemed dumbfounded at first. His eyes were shifting between Jun and Sho until he got the hint. "Ah, where are my manners?" Aiba exclaimed. He extended his free hand to Jun, "I'm Aiba Masaki.”  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," was Jun's reply. He gave a curt smile while shaking Aiba's hand briefly.  
  
"Jyah, I won't keep much more of your time then." Aiba bid farewell. He looked at Jun and smiled, "It was nice meeting you, Matsumoto-san."  
  
Rather than replying, Jun gave a small bow. Aiba was beaming at them as he walked away after patting Sho's shoulder.  
  
There was a moment of silence. Jun couldn't really grasp what had happened so far. Aiba's smile was friendly and comforting in Jun's opinion. It had the opposite effect with Sho though.  
  
"Have you gotten everything you need?" Sho asked Jun a moment later. It was a simple question. Except that with the way the older male had asked him, Jun knew Sho wanted to get out of there.  
  
"Yeah, everything's here." Jun replied. Sho smiled back. Like earlier, it was still forced. Thankfully, they did have everything already.  
  
Sho maneuvered the cart towards the cashier section to pay. Jun followed silently. He was still thinking about their encounter with this Aiba Masaki just a while ago.  
  
Jun didn't know him. He didn't know anyone who was a part of Sho's life. Thinking about it, Sho didn't know anyone from his life either. It was like when he and Sho were together, it was just the two of them in their own little world.  
  
Dreamy as it sounded, Jun was reminded of how shallow their relationship had been until then. It didn't matter anymore. Now, he only had two days left to savor that world, _their world_. Sho had wanted out and back to the reality. Somehow, Jun knew Aiba was a part of that reality.  
  
Although there was tension hanging in the air after their trip to the supermarket, it didn't really affect the remainder of the day. It just made the day more exciting. Jun noticed a lot of things he hadn't pay attention before.  
  
Jun noticed how Sho was actually a fast eater. He liked to order more stuff than what he intended. He was also attentive of what people around him liked to eat. He would suggest dishes that would surely satisfy any person's taste. Sho wouldn't even bat an eye if Jun got food from his plate - which Jun did several times. Sho just laughed it off.  
  
Sho also loved to tell stories. Whether it was day to day news, or the latest gag shown in television, Sho would narrate it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He would also be open with his opinions about current events, contemplating about pros and cons with depth and insights. Their conversations then would range from topic to another. They could actually stay in one place just talking about things.  
  
Along those stories, Jun found how rich Sho's expressions were. He got to realize how warm and hearty Sho’s laughter was, and how Sho's eyes glimmered with excitement while talking about things he was passionate on especially when it was something related with music. He also noticed Sho's habit of blinking when half-amused and half-disbelieving about something.  
  
Maybe Jun had notice those things before. Whether it was something small like a subtle habit or something big – like the fact Sho had acrophobia, he probably knew it already within the year he had been with Sho. It was only that day did he got the chance to truly appreciate everything.  
  
Was the saying true then? A person would only notice how wonderful everything was when it was gone? In Jun's case, when he knew he only had limited time.  
  
It was already late. They were already in Jun's bed. Sho was sleeping cozily beside Jun under the covers.  He had one arm stretched out, and Jun was using it as pillow.  
  
For the past hour, Jun had been watching over Sho because he couldn't sleep yet. Somehow, Sho's low snore was the lullaby he needed to feel drowsy. He pecked at the side of Sho's mouth when he felt his eyes getting heavy. The action made the latter stir in sleep, but didn't wake up. Sho just turned to Jun's direction, and Sho’s arms wrapped around Jun afterwards.  
  
Jun snuggled closer, basking in the warmth of Sho’s body against his. He only had two days left before everything they had would be gone.  
  
  
  
If Jun was honest, he felt that everything was going too fast yet slow at the same time. It was confusing really, but it was quite enjoyable.  
  
One moment, they were travelling to the beach house early in the morning. They were jamming to the songs played through the radio. When rock songs were played, they banged their heads up and down. Sho did some air guitar solo at the middle of it when it was a red light at an intersection. They even managed to get cars in the back honking at them since Sho was so into _"his guitar solo”_ that he missed the light had turned green already. Sho was flustered, yet both of them laughed it off. On the other hand, singing ballad was even funnier than Jun would admit. Sho could be a singer really. He had the voice, but high registers weren’t his forte. Sho managed to croak more than he had hit the right notes. It didn’t help that Sho accompanied it with big hand gestures. If they weren’t in the car, Sho might have danced an impromptu ballet even with his stiff body.  
  
Arriving at the beach house was more surprising than Jun had thought it would be. It was unbelievable how Sho’s excitement leaped off the moment the older man set a foot on the sand. Sho dragged Jun immediately towards the sea. Sho wasn’t even bothered by the fact that they hadn’t unpacked the things they brought with them.  He actually forgot that they left the car open.  
  
Jun just found himself standing ankle-deep in the sea and drenched because Sho continuously splashed water towards his direction. When Jun noticed his carefully styled hair turned messy, he ran after Sho while spurting profanities. Sho was laughing gleefully, teasing Jun before running away. Jun took the bait and ran after Sho, with a promise he'd make Sho pay for what he had done.  
  
It took them a good half an hour and completely drenched bodies before they decided it was time to actually settle in the house. After making sure all the things from the car got moved to the house, they took a bath together. Sho rubbed his back, and he rubbed Sho's till they were both squeaky clean. Of course, there were also a few quick kisses.  
  
They got the barbeque they bought grilling just in time before lunch. As always, Sho wasn't helpful in the kitchen, but he did quite well when it came to the actual grilling. The meat wasn't too raw or too cooked as they ate it along with Jun's yang chow fried rice and mixed vegetables. Sho had complained that he was too bloated to move after they finished eating all of it since Sho had the bigger portion of course. Jun gave him the look of ‘ _I-told-you-so’_ , and somehow Sho managed to persuade Jun to spend the whole afternoon by the beach, lazing around. They had a mat laid on the sand, under the shade of a tree near the beach house. The moment Sho's back had contact with the mat, he fell asleep. Jun followed suit, cuddling with Sho. Jun decided a fluffy Sho wasn't bad. Jun would have him anytime to cuddle with anyways.  
  
When the night came, the town, where the beach house was located, was lively. The scenery reminded Jun of the night life back in Tokyo, but at the same time it was different. Instead of neon lights decorating buildings, lanterns illuminated the houses and shops by the seaside. The feeling was also different. Maybe having Sho's hand intertwined with his made it more special. It was the first time Sho held his hand openly in public after all. As they strolled around, going from shop to shop for souvenirs, Sho was closely beside him. If it wasn't an exaggeration, Jun swore he saw Sho glaring at those who were looking at their direction. Whether it was out possessiveness or jealousy, Jun didn't really care. He felt he was surrounded by Sho only, and Jun really loved the feeling.  
  
It was different when they were back at Tokyo. There were times they were close, but Jun always knew there was an invisible wall that distanced them from each other. That night, there was none, and Jun was overwhelmed with feelings. He actually forgot that those were all arrangements, and it had an end.  
  
"My, my... You guys would make a great couple."  
  
Jun looked up from the key chains he was eyeing on the counter of the souvenir shop he and Sho were. The voice he heard was from an old lady who spoke, standing at the opposite side of the counter. Jun supposed she was the owner of the shop.  
  
Jun felt heat in his cheeks. He was blushing at the old lady’s comment. Sho gently tugged at his hand. When Jun looked up, Sho was looking back at him.  
  
"Yeah. I'm lucky aren't I, obaa-chan?" Sho said, his eyes gleaming back at Jun.  
  
Jun smiled shyly, looking away because he was embarrassed. He heard Sho chuckling, and the old lady was giggling.  
  
"I hope you're enjoying your stay here." The old lady greeted when Sho was paying for the things he bought. "Here, for the lovely couple. It’s on the house." She added after, giving Sho and Jun a necklace each. Both necklaces had half of a camera as pendants. If they connected the pendants, it would surely fit. "I see you guys as picture perfect." She offered an explanation.  
  
"No, we couldn't." Sho politely declined, returning the necklace back to the lady.  
  
"I insist dear." She smiled.  
  
Jun and Sho looked at each other first before finally accepting it.  
  
"Thank you, obaa-san." Jun said on behalf of the two of them.  
  
They said their goodbyes with a wave before leaving the shop. It was getting late. As they walked back towards the house, the moon was shining brightly above the sky. Its reflection mirrored beautifully by the calm sea. It was cold, but Jun felt warm with Sho's hand still intertwined with his.  
  
They were walking by the beach, arms and sides brushing against each other. Sho stopped, pulling Jun to a halt also. When Jun turned around, Sho pulled him closer. Sho's lips captured Jun's in a searing kiss.  
  
It was supposed to be sweet and romantic. Jun should feel overjoyed and overwhelmed with emotions. He did, but he felt half of him was missing just like the necklace in his free hand was incomplete.  
  
_"Just one more day."_  
  
  
  
Jun liked to congratulate himself. With how he handled everything till then, he should win the award for martyrdom when it came to love.  
  
_"More like stupidity."_ He mocked himself inside.  
  
They were once again in the beach, and Jun was thankful that they spent the remainder of the day in its grace. The calmness of it influenced the turmoil of emotions building inside Jun.  
  
That day was the last day, and there were only a few hours left till it ended.  
  
Jun wasn’t ready. He didn’t really want to let go. What did prompt Jun to ask Sho for these three days again? It would end under the circumstances. Jun knew right away what Sho's answer would be the moment Jun made Sho choose between him and Sho's real family.  
  
_Was it for memories?_  
  
Jun knew better than to ask for that kind of stuff. Jun didn't want to linger once things ended with a lover. For Jun, it was easy to let go of his love for his past partners because it was him who dwindled away. There were no hard feelings. Some even became his close friends. _Won't it be the same with Sho then?  
_  
When Jun looked up, his eyes were set towards the sea where Sho was. Half of Sho's body was soaked in the water, and the older man was waving gleefully back at him upon noticing he was looking. From the hammock he was lying at, Jun could only reply Sho with a weak smile and a quick wave. Sho didn't seem to notice Jun's lack of enthusiasm, but Sho would surely after reaching him since it seemed Sho was heading his way.  
  
Jun took a deep breath. He didn't want to ruin Sho's mood with his sour one. It wasn't easy, but he needed to try.  
  
"Aren't you going for a dip?" Sho asked after arriving, getting his towel hanging in a branch to dry himself.  
  
Jun shook his head in reply. He patted the empty space to urge Sho to lie beside him the moment Sho was finished. Sho chuckled, but complied nevertheless. After they were both settled in the hammock, Jun automatically snuggled against Sho’s body. They were only clad with their swimming shorts. Although the wind started getting chilly, Jun felt that Sho's body against him was enough to keep him warm. He couldn't help but smile contently as Sho's arm was around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Jun felt a kiss on the top of his head. He felt contented despite the bittersweet feeling lurking in the back of his heart.  
  
The sun was setting in the west, and it had the perfect shade of orange that coated the calming scenery of the ocean.  
  
Jun could say he was ready for what was coming, but maybe he really wasn’t.  
  
"Hey, Jun." Sho mumbled after a few minutes of silence. His hand was unconsciously rubbing Jun's shoulder as he dwelled on some thoughts.  
  
Jun just hummed, waiting for Sho to continue.  
  
"I... W-when you asked me for these three days... Y-you said... I mean, you told me I can choose whether it's you or them..."  
  
Despite the lump in Jun's throat, he couldn't help but chuckle. It wasn't a bitter one. It wasn't a happy one either. It was out of fondness because Jun just knew how Sho was. He knew how kind and careful Sho had always been.  
  
"I honestly don't think you need to choose, Sho-san." Jun said in candor."You already have decided since then." Jun smiled, small yet genuine.  
  
Jun looked up and met Sho's eyes. He could feel the clench in his heart. Still somehow, everything wasn't hard as he thought it would be. Maybe it was because Sho had always been transparent and sincere when feelings were involved. Jun could see it even then.  
  
"One last time huh?" Jun said. It was a statement. Truth be told, it was his way of saying he had accepted it long before.  
  
"Jun, I-,"Sho started after taking a deep breath. After Sho's eyes blinked, Jun noticed how teary it had become, mirroring his own glassy eyes.  
  
"Just..." Jun left it hanging, trusting Sho to know what he wanted.  
  
Sho did, leaning in for a kiss. It was slow at first, but there was a hint of desperation as the kiss deepened. They only let go of each other's lips for a breather before Jun got up and pulled Sho with him.  
  
No one spoke. Jun had a firm grip on Sho's hand. Fingers were intertwined as they padded their way towards the beach house and straight into the bedroom.  
  
Jun gently pushed Sho to lie on the bed, straddling him as he attacked Sho's bruised lips. Sho replied it with same intensity as Jun had been doing. Their hands roamed in each part of their bodies. Jun kissed downwards, making Sho squirm underneath him. It didn’t take long before Jun had Sho fully naked after pulling down Sho’s swimming shorts and throwing those somewhere in the room. His own swimming shorts followed shortly after. He took the older man’s cock inside his mouth until his lips reached the base in one go.  
  
Jun didn’t know if he was in a hurry. For all he knew, he wanted this to last yet here he was, bobbing his head up and down in a fast pace. He acted in his instincts. He acted blindly with feelings. He didn’t get to hear Sho calling for him until the other had stopped him.  
  
“Jun… Jun…” Sho had Jun’s face between his hands, making the younger male to look at him.  
  
Jun didn’t even notice his eyes were clouded with tears until he really see Sho, feeling Sho's hands wiping his tears.  
  
“Sssh… ssssh…”  
  
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Jun bawled. He didn’t exactly know from whom he was asking forgiveness. He didn’t even know the reason was. Was it because he couldn’t continue his ministrations? Or was it for another reason? Yet those were the only words that were out from his mouth.  
  
Sho coaxed Jun to stop crying, lying him down before kissing him. Sho placed kisses all over Jun’s body as if telling him that he shouldn’t say sorry. Maybe it was Sho’s way to tell him that he didn’t need to apologize because he didn’t do anything wrong.  
  
With his puffy eyes, Jun stared at Sho when the older male stopped and looked at him.  
  
"I love you..."Jun said when he finally calmed down. His voice was trembling, but he said it full of sincerity.  
  
Sho's eyes widened. It was the first time Jun openly said his feelings ever since he found out about Sho's secret. Jun didn't regret saying it in spite of the situation they were in.  
  
Jun didn't let Sho say anything when he noticed the other struggling with what words to say. He didn't need false pretentions. He didn't need sweet words to pacify the pain his heart felt. He just needed to feel Sho as long he could.  
  
Jun rolled the two of them abruptly, surprising Sho. He didn't wait for anything and impaled himself with Sho's cock into his hole with no preparations.  
  
There were groans from the two of them. Jun hissed at the sudden intrusion. When he looked down, Sho was staring back at him, worry evident in his face. Jun smiled back to reassure the other.  
  
Sho pulled Jun by his nape, kissing each tear that tainted Jun's face. The older man rubbed his nape in affection. It comforted Jun in many ways, making him close his eyes.  
  
No one moved. Not even if Jun's tight heat was too overwhelming around Sho.  
  
Jun opened his eyes a moment later, seeing Sho's eyes were still on him, gentle and caring. Jun then started bouncing, and Sho let Jun set their pace.  
  
Sho's hand landed in Jun's hips, steadying the younger man as Jun moved faster. Jun's moans became Sho's cue to move as well. He met Jun with his own hard thrusts. Sho sat them up for leverage, making him bury deep inside Jun. It was also his way to embrace Jun closer and tighter. It earned a welcoming groan from both of them.  
  
Jun was still in tears when Sho looked straight into his eyes. It wasn't because of pain because he only felt pleasure to be joined as one with Sho, yet the looming heartache made his tears unstoppable. He felt thankful Sho understood him, not saying anything. Sho just comforted him with kisses and soft caresses.  
  
When they reached their peaks, it took them just one look to sync their heartbeats as they came, moaning each other's name.  
  
Jun rested his head against Sho's neck, and that was when Sho said and did the cruelest thing of all.  
  
_"I love you, Jun."_  
  
Jun would have pulled away to have a look at Sho. He wanted to ask him why he was saying this now, but Sho hugged him tighter, preventing him to give any reactions.

 

Jun felt Sho's body shaking and heard the muffled sobs. It mirrored Jun's own trembling body as they openly let it sink that this was the end.  
  
  
  
Sho drove Jun home the next morning. They hadn't said anything to each other when they packed up in the beach house and left to go back to the city.  
  
There were lingering glances when one thought the other wasn't looking though. There were also small contacts of skin against skin until Sho boldly clasped Jun's hand halfway in their travel.  
  
Jun smiled, yet he didn't know whether it was out of amusement, or he was actually annoyed.  
  
_Selfish bastard…_ Jun would have said, but it was ironic. He was selfish too. Jun had their fingers laced together till they reached Jun's home.  
  
They were in the parking garage of Jun's apartment building. The car's engine had long been off. Still, no one moved. They were just staring in front. Their hands were still tangled, and words seemed to be irrelevant that moment. Sho's phone rang in the middle of their silence, and Jun felt Sho's grip tightened in a brief moment. Sho didn't answer his phone, letting the ringing died down till Jun finally decided it was time to let go.  
  
"Thank you." Jun said, making Sho look at him in shock. Jun wasn't surprised though why he said that. He just felt it was the right thing to say so.  
  
As Jun unclasped his seatbelt with his free hand, he could see Sho doing the same. "Don't..." He said, and Sho paused.  
  
Jun took a deep breath before facing Sho. He leaned in and gave Sho one last kiss before pulling his hand away. He got his bag from the trunk and then walked towards the entrance of his apartment building.  
  
Jun stopped by the entrance, glancing back to where Sho's car was parked. With the brightest smile he could muster, he mouthed, "Thank you."  
  
Those two words were the only thing Jun knew that could sum up his goodbye. Despite the circumstances, he was thankful that Sakurai Sho entered his life.  
  
In the confines of his apartment, Jun slid down behind the closed door. Despite the ache in his heart, he couldn't bring himself to shed more tears.  
  
Jun unconsciously reached out to the necklace he was wearing. It was one the old woman gave to them from the trip.  
  
The old woman said they were picture perfect. Maybe they were, but as separated parts like the necklaces' pendants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Anyways, another character entered the story. (Yay, Arashi is complete here. Nurufufufufufu~) Who do you think Aiba-san is in Sho's life? Definitely, it won't be the last time you'll hear from him._
> 
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> _I'm really curious though. If you guys noticed in the header, there's "Sho/??" listed in the pairing. Who do you think "??-san" is?  (Hikaru, I know you know already so let's just keep it to ourselves ne _?)__
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>  This is updated tentative list of the upcoming chapters:  
>  ~~Half Time~~  
>  One Ring  
> Two Choices  
>  ~~Three Days~~  
>  Four Years Old  
> After Fifth Period  
> Six Years Ago  
> Seventh Floor  
> Eight Weeks  
> Nine Shots  
> Ten Seconds
> 
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> _  
> _HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Love to hear from you all! As well in 2016, Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!_  
>  _
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> _  
> _P.S. Although I did said to those gals, whom I was sending updates before I started posting this, that I'd make this mpreg, I'm honestly still reluctant. Sorry about that. So I'm leaving this question for you guys to decided whether to make it Mpreg or not. Either ways, the plot was solid already. Mpreg or not, it would still have the same ending. (For some reason, I can't use the poll. I'd really appreciate it if you include in your comment your answer whether it's yes or no.) Thank you!_  
>  _


	5. Four Years Old

Jun was well aware of the frightened stares, the trembling bodies, and the hanging tension in the conference room, where every staff of the studio was gathered. Still, Jun couldn't remove the feeling annoyed. He was frustrated. He was angry, but more than to anyone, he was honestly angry with himself. Sadly, he had been lashing out on people who had nothing to do with it.  
  
"Will someone please explain to me how the pictures turned sepia when the theme of the magazine is clearly black and white?" Jun asked. His tone was harsh. He was in front of the long table where all the staff sat around. Jun noticed how everyone in the room was anxious under his scrutinizing eyes. Some were fidgeting in their seats. Others couldn't look up to meet his eyes. One was brave enough to answer though.  
  
"Sir, it's my fault. The original pictures were taken in sepia so that when we edit and turn it to black and white, it will carry more different shades than doing it in gray scale."  
  
Jun turned to the man who spoke. The man was the newly hired photographer from Kansai, Nakama Junta, if he remembered correctly. Jun's eyes were blank, and that made Junta flinch albeit trying to hide it.  
  
"Are you trying to make decisions without my permission on how to do the photoshoots?" Jun asked. It was low, but with the silence everyone could hear it clearly. They also noticed the bite in each word.  
  
"Uhm..." Junta couldn't reply. He gulped down before saying anything, carefully choosing his words to justify his actions. "It wasn’t my intention, Matsumoto-san. I was given the freedom on how the photoshoot and process will go by the director."Junta said. He took a deep breath before explaining further. "I just thought that the sepia setting translated to black and white would create the old picture effect the director wanted for the spread."  
  
Jun glared at Junta, saying, "I'm well-aware of the director's concept for the spread, Nakama-san." Jun's words were said in monotone, and if Jun did use that kind of tone, everyone in the room knew that he was beyond furious.  
  
It wasn't that Jun was always angry at them. It was the exact opposite. It was just that the actual rarity of it left a impression on every staff, and they didn't want it to happen again.  
  
"Let me rephrase my sentence then..." Jun deadpanned, "Why go through such process when it could produce  faster results by using a more direct approach?"  
  
Mao looked at Jun with apprehension. She was worried. Although Jun did have a point, she had known Jun long enough to know he would still approved of Junta's process. Jun was open with photographer's artistry. In fact, He encouraged it. That day, Jun's anger was completely odd. The argument was honestly petty.  
  
Even if Mao had been working with Jun from the very start Jun and Ohno had build the studio, she didn't really know how to calm Jun. Thankfully, there was someone else who could.  
  
"That's enough, Jun."Ohno interceded, placing a hand on Jun's shoulder after pushing himself away from the wall he had been leaning at from the beginning of the abrupt meeting. He had been silent all the while, just observing. Judging by Jun’s reactions and answers, it was time he intervened to pacify things.  
  
 Somehow, there was a collective sigh of relief from everyone else in the conference room.  
  
Jun looked away, visibly pissed. Ohno took it as a cue to take the lead, which was actually rare.  
  
"Junta-kun, I appreciate that you are trying new techniques to bring better qualities for our pictures. But if you are unsure of things, please consult me or Matsumoto-san first." Ohno explained, calm and collected. There wasn't hardness in his words. He was just reprimanding.  
  
Junta looked apologetic, not just to Ohno or Jun, but to all the staffs present for putting them in such an uncomfortable situation. He bowed and murmured an apology, promising not to cause any more trouble to anyone.  
  
Ohno dismissed all of the staff present afterwards. When he was left alone with Jun, he locked the door and turned to the younger man. "What's wrong with you today, Jun?" He asked. Although the words Ohno used might sound be rude or accusing, Jun heard far from that. Ohno was rather concerned and worried.  
  
"It's _nothing_." Jun lied. As much as he liked Ohno's concern directed at him, now wasn't a good time.  
  
"There’s _something_ , Jun. It's been like that for almost a week. You've been in everyone's back."Ohno pointed out.  
  
Jun's nose cringed at that. He remembered how he had exploded almost every day throughout the week. On Monday, he lashed out on an assistant because he was given a different lens from what he asked for. It turned out that the lens was a better choice. In another day, he got irritated at a staff in-charge of the orders because the props he asked for a photoshoot hadn't arrived yet at the studio when he arrived. It wasn't the staff's fault though, because there had been an accident that caused the delay of the delivery.  
  
Things hadn't been smooth lately. Or rather Jun's patience was thinning, and he easily let his temper get the better of him. For that, Ohno was worried.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" Ohno rephrased his previous question. This time, he openly expressed his concern. He knew Jun was perfectionist. Still, he wouldn't reach to a point that he might embarrass another person.  
  
"I... I..." He stammered. "I'm just tired." Another lie came out of Jun's mouth, "I'm sorry... I'm just really out of it." He excused before Ohno could say something more, looking exhausted.  
  
"You need a break." Ohno decided, making Jun look up in surprise. There was authority in Ohno's voice, and he couldn't actually read what Ohno was thinking especially when the older man said, "Come with me."  
  
Jun wasn't in the mood, but Ohno's calm yet commanding demeanor still managed to make him obliged.  
It had been a while since Ohno showed Jun that he was older. Ohno might not look like it, but the older man was reliable. For that fact, Jun was thankful because Ohno managed to guide him at times when Jun was lost. Jun respected Ohno, and maybe that was why despite dreading any lectures that might come his way (because it seemed Ohno would be giving one), Jun didn't have the heart to object.  
  
They left the conference room and were heading out. Jun stopped at the middle after noticing everyone had a careful stance once they were passing by. Even Mao, who was bubbly and cheerful, had restrains in her movements.  
  
Then there was also Junta. Despite trying to play it cool, there was stiffness in his aura. It seemed that the kind and happy-go-lucky Junta which Jun remembered was nowhere in sight at the moment.  
  
Jun took a deep breath and approached Junta's table. It didn't escape his eyes that sweat was forming in Junta's forehead as the younger man fidgeted under his gaze.  
  
"Junta-kun."  
  
"Hai!" Junta answered, sounding nervous.  
  
Jun heaved another deep breath before speaking again, "I'm sorry, Junta-kun. My anger earlier was out of a place. I do appreciate your efforts too. Just please consider if your methods will be efficient." Jun apologized, adding a reminder at the end.  
  
"There's no need to apologize, Matsumoto-san. I promise to be more considerate of my actions in the future." Junta replied, and Jun smiled at that. He was truly happy there were no grudges despite what he had done earlier.  
  
The tension in the air finally dissipated after their exchange. It seemed it was the only thing they needed for every staff to be relaxed once again. There were no more words needed. The staff understood that Jun's apology wasn't just intended for Junta. It was intended for everyone. Although they had been under Jun's wrath for a week, Jun still managed to show in his own ways how he was truly sorry for his uncalled outburst.  
  
It seemed Ohno had witnessed what Jun did. When Jun saw Ohno waiting for him by the door, relief was clearly seen in Ohno’s face.  
  
Jun approached the door. Mao was standing at Ohno’s side, gleefully waiting to hear if Jun had further instructions with a smile. Jun only said to call him or Ohno if they were needed. Mao saluted to let him know she would do what she was told. Jun was really thankful he had such wonderful staffs.  
  
Ohno and Jun took an elevator towards the parking lot. Since Ohno didn't bring his car that day – which was brand new since he just recently got his driver's license – they went to Jun's car instead. As both Jun and Ohno settled in the car, Jun asked, "Where are we heading?"  
  
"To the kindergarten."  
  
Jun's head instantly turned towards Ohno. Jun was looking at Ohno like the older man had just grown two heads. Ohno was rather calm contrary to Jun's anxious look. As much as Jun wanted to visit the kids because he deliberately avoided going there that week, he didn't want to let the kids experience his wrath. He was calm now, calmer than he was at the start of the week. Still, Jun didn't want the kids to see him like that.  
  
"Oh-chan. I don't think I should go there now." Jun said, not elaborating more anything in his mind.  
  
Ohno's reply was enough to assume he knew enough what he was suggesting though. "I told you, Jun, you need a break. Kids are distracting enough to let you forget for awhile, to clear your mind. Who knows, you might be enlightened on how to overcome whatever you are going through."  
  
Jun didn't reply anymore. Ohno had a point. Jun could just leave if he felt that he might explode in front of the kids anyway.  
  
They arrived during the children’s nap time. That’s why only Juri and Nino welcomed them in the main entrance of the small school.  
  
"Where have you been, you moron?" Juri hissed through gritted teeth, surprising Jun because this was the first time Juri openly called him names – and that even happened in the kindergarten where children might hear her.  
  
"I... I-,"Jun was lost for words. There was anger written in Juri's face, but it wasn't because she was mad, she was just really worried because Jun hadn't contacted her that week.  
  
As Jun thought about it, his destinations for the last week were just his workplace and his apartment. At home, he had been spending his time only with his television and dozens of cans of beers. There were also times he just cried himself to his sleep. He didn't think about those who cared for him, worrying about what he was doing with his life. He was trapped. No matter how much he tried to hide it, he was trapped in his own broken little world that he forgot his reality and everyone around him.  
  
Jun wouldn't cry in front of anybody. Not in that kind of place where other people could see his despair, yet he was only human and had his limitations. And so he gave in, crying as his sister hugged him.  
  
_Sho is gone._  
  
He wanted to say that, but no one knew about his relationship with Sho. Ohno perhaps met with the guy a few times, but that didn't mean anything. And that was when Jun noted he was alone in his struggle. He was still stuck inside the world he and Sho built. Sho was gone, it was time for Jun to leave _their world_ and go on with his life.  
  
Juri didn't say anything, but held Jun tight in her arms. Jun would say something in time, but now all he needed was someone to ground him back. The people around him, his friends, and his sister were doing it right.  
  
  
  
Jun was sporting puffy eyes when the children woke up from nap time. He was glad he had his reading glasses with him when he faced them. He used them to hide his eyes in the pretense that he had an eye infection. The children only had happy faces as they swarmed at him, telling him how he was missed by all of them. In the children's play time, Jun made sure he got to interact with each of the children.  
  
Juri and the others were with him of course, playing with the children. He was also thankful the others didn't mention his display of weakness earlier. It seemed Jun didn't need to dwell on it for now. Ohno was right then. That was the perfect distraction he needed. Why didn't Jun thought of it in the first place? He did always go there if he wanted to think anything else aside from work.  
  
_Sho had a kid._  
  
That was right. Sho had his own bundle of joy. Going here would remind Jun that fact.  
  
Sho had a family, and with Jun, he could have broken it. Instead, he broke off his and Jun's world to be with them.  
  
_Sho chose them._  
  
It wasn't like Jun hated them. He felt rather apologetic towards them. They didn’t have any clue what Sho was doing those times the older man wasn’t with them, and was with Jun.  
  
If Jun could, he would ask for their forgiveness personally.  
  
Jun didn’t have resentment for Sho either. Maybe the fact Sho had hidden that he had a family from the start could be a reason to be mad at the other but Jun was at fault too. _Why did you stay when you knew Sho wasn’t yours begin with?_ Because Jun had loved Sho, and Jun would like to think Sho loved him too.  
  
Jun shook his head. Thinking about those things was kind of exhausting. _(And really, it was annoying too.)_ That was when he finally saw the boy he hadn’t been able to play with those past few days. Shojiro was sitting on a tree’s roots, looking over the children (and some adults) who played in the playground.  
  
"Hey there." Jun squatted in front of Shojiro, catching the boy’s attention.  
  
"You're not going to join them?"  
  
Shojiro shook his head.  
  
Jun was cautious of Shojiro’s response. It seemed Shojiro was back to those times he had been distant to everyone else. Or was it because Jun hadn't showed up, and Shojiro was again careful around him?  
  
Jun decided to sit beside Shojiro. _At least the kid won't be alone._  
  
The silence between the two stretched. Jun opted to break it with a simple question, trying to engage the boy to a conversation, but it was Shojiro who asked first. His question surprised Jun.  
  
"Why are you sad, an-chan?"  
  
Jun gasped. He wasn't expecting Shojiro to ask something like that. Though, he was thankful Shojiro still called him _an-chan_. Jun was afraid Shojiro might become distant around him again, losing the trust he gained before.  
  
It took time before Jun could decide what to reply, and he chose to be honest. Shojiro was a smart kid, smarter than others definitely. That was why even though Shojiro may not fully understand what he was going through, it didn't mean he should lie to the boy.  
  
"I'm sad because I have to be separated from the one I love." Jun replied simply for a four year old child to understand.  
  
Shojiro blinked his eyes. His small eyebrows knitted together, making Jun chuckle.  
  
"You know, if you keep on frowning like that. You'll have wrinkles at young age." Jun joked, smoothing Shojiro's knitted eyebrows with his thumb and index finger.  
  
Shojiro cringed his nose, and Jun couldn't help but poke his nose with affection. Shojiro reached out his hand towards Jun's face, but he couldn't really reach it. Jun leaned closer to Shojiro. The boy took Jun's glasses, exposing Jun's eyes. They weren’t that puffy anymore, but there were remnants that proved Jun cried earlier.  
  
"An-chan is really handsome. Sadness doesn't suit an-chan." Shojiro claimed. Jun was grateful. Those were just innocent words from a child, yet they had a great impact. It felt good because he felt Shojiro cared for him too. Jun couldn't help but hug Shojiro. There was a lonely tear drop falling down, but Jun could tell it was due to happiness.  
  
When they finally let go, Jun had a smile, genuine and refreshing. Shojiro too was smiling when he said, "I want to spend time with an-chan later after class."  
  
Jun loved the idea. He could definitely bring Shojiro again to the park where they last went. _Shojiro would love ice cream._ Jun thought, but then he needed to consult first with Shojiro's mother. Too much sweet was bad to children after all.  
  
"I would love to, Shojiro. We'll go to the park and play while waiting for your mama to pick you up. What do you say?"  
  
Shojiro's smile vanished at the mention of _'mama'_. Jun got worried. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Shojiro looked away. His eyes were getting moist."Mama isn't going to pick me up."He murmured. "She won't be for a long time."  
  
"What do you mean?" Jun asked dumbfounded.  
  
Last time he brought Shojiro to a park, Arimura met with them. Even with a short conversation, they managed to talk about serious stuff like they were best of friends. That day, Shojiro was talking like she was gone.  
  
"She left." Shojiro confirmed Jun's thoughts.  
  
Jun was left speechless. He didn't know what to do to comfort Shojiro. Someone leaving would always be hard for those who were left behind. Heck, an adult like him was having a hard time coping. How much would it affect a four year old child?  
  
Jun remembered Arimura’s last words before he left that time. He hugged Shojiro. The boy's body was trembling against his body. He knew Shojiro was crying, and Jun could only hug Shojiro tighter.  
  
_“Please take good care of my son from now on too.”_  
  
Jun knew hugging Shojiro wasn’t going to suffice. Jun just hoped it would be enough to let Shojiro know that he would always be there for him.  
  
  
  
From Juri, Jun learned that Shojiro was in the father's care. She said she hadn't properly met the man since the one who had been picking Shojiro up was the boy's uncle like before. It seemed the father was still readjusting his work schedule to match with Shojiro's school. The uncle had been babysitting since then until the father was home.  
  
Jun would say he was lucky. When he was going to ask Juri to contact Shojiro's father, so he could ask permission to take Shojiro after class, Shojiro's uncle had called, relaying the unavailability to pick the boy up. The father would do it instead but in later time.  
  
Jun then proposed his plan when he had the chance to talk to the uncle through the school’s phone. The plan was consisted of taking Shojiro again with him to play at the park. He would babysit Shojiro and drop the boy at the house by the time Shojiro's father was home.  
  
Shojiro's uncle loved the idea and gave his full support together with the address where Shojiro was staying with his father. After the call ended, Jun remembered he didn’t catch the name of both Shojiro’s father and uncle. It was too bad since it seemed the uncle was really friendly and outgoing. Somehow, Jun also found familiarity with the uncle's voice.  
  
Jun also took this opportunity to completely distract Shojiro. Aside from playing with Shojiro in the park, Jun took the boy to the nearest bookstore. He had noticed long before that Shojiro loved to read books. As a gift for being a great achiever in class _(as told by Juri),_ Jun decided to buy a new book for Shojiro. The boy was delighted upon hearing the news and dragged him to the children's books section to choose. Jun could only chuckle as he watched in amusement how Shojiro was having a hard time choosing.  
  
Jun squatted beside Shojiro, so he could be in the same level with the standing boy. He looked at the titles written in the spines of the books. The collection had a lot of variety in it. Jun remarked, "You really love reading, right?"  
  
Shojiro looked at Jun, nodding eagerly. When he finally got a book he wanted, he sat on the carpeted floor before opening it. He patted the space beside him and asked Jun to sit with him.  
  
Jun looked at his watch. It was quarter to six in the evening. If he remembered right, Shojiro's father would probably be back half an hour past seven as told by Shojiro’s uncle. They still got time to even grab a quick bite. He sat beside Shojiro and peeked to the book in Shojiro's lap.  
  
"Planets?” Jun noted. Shojiro nodded while beaming at Jun.  
  
“Do you know the names of each one?” Jun asked. He was amused when Shojiro looked smug all of a sudden.  
  
Shojiro started pointing at each planet pictured in the page. He also cited the planet’s uniqueness from the rest, like Mercury was the closest to the Sun, and that Jupiter was the largest planet.  
  
“Wow, you know a lot.” Jun praised, and Shojiro looked proud at the compliment.  
  
“Papa read me books before bed. The books about planets and stars are my favorite.” Shojiro said, and Jun nodded.  
  
Jun then noticed the necklace around Shojiro’s tiny neck, especially the pendant attached to it. Unconsciously, he reached for his own, which was hidden under his shirt. If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, Jun was sure it was the same half-of-a-camera pendant as his. It might even be the other half. Jun didn’t have time to dwell about the similarity of their pendants though. He got busy listening to Shojiro’s stories.  
  
As they browsed through the contents of the book, Shojiro relayed what his father had been teaching him during their reading sessions before bed time to Jun. The older man listened intently, getting more and more curious about Shojiro’s father. Except for the part of not coming to pick Shojiro up, Jun was amazed how easily the father adjusted in taking care of the boy. It seemed that the father had been taking good care of Shojiro despite not being able to cook _(as Shojiro hinted)_.  
  
Jun didn’t want to compare. He was sure Shojiro was well taken care by both mother and father in their own ways. It was just that Shojiro was more talkative about the father.  
  
  
After buying the book they had been reading in the bookstore, their talk continued on when Jun brought Shojiro to a family restaurant that served the best hamburgers – as Nino recommended before. Shojiro was eating his meal eagerly. The sight made Jun smile because it seemed what he was doing all afternoon had been working. He wasn’t expecting though what Shojiro had in mind instead.  
  
“An-chan is finally smiling!” Shojiro chirped, clapping his hands with glee.  
  
 Jun tilt his head to the side in confusion. “Haven’t I been smiling earlier?” Jun asked.  
  
Shojiro took a zip of his drink first before answering, “You have, but it isn’t the same as before. So I’m happy I see an-chan’s real smile again. It means I’m doing my job right.” Shojiro said pompously.  
  
“Doing your job?” Jun chuckled.  
  
“Yeah… My job is to make an-chan smile brightly again.” Shojiro cheered. Suddenly, he looked to his food solemnly. “Papa is the same. He is smiling, but it isn’t bright. It’s not like the one _in the picture_ I saw before, so I’m trying my best to see that kind of Papa’s smile again.” Shojiro took a deep breath like he was mustering strength to do what he intended. He beamed again at Jun before saying, “Since I made an-chan happy again, maybe I can make Papa smile again like that.”  
  
Jun was speechless once again because of Shojiro. He was right. Shojiro was smarter than any four year old he had encountered. The boy had perspective about things. Shojiro’s parents would be proud and happy to have the boy as their child.  
  
Jun hugged Shojiro, mumbling, “Don’t worry, Shojiro. I’m sure your papa is very happy because you’re there with him.”  
  
When Jun let go, he ruffled Shojiro’s hair with affection. Shojiro giggled before finishing his meal. Jun just watched, thinking it would be nice to talk to Shojiro’s father about how wonderful Shojiro was.  
  
  
  
They were a bit late. Jun could tell the father was already home after seeing the car parked in front of the house. Since Shojiro fell asleep along the way, Jun had to carry him to the door. After reaching the porch, he rang the doorbell, readying himself to face the father and explain why he brought Shojiro home late. He just hoped the father wouldn’t be angry to the point he would forbid Jun to see Shojiro again. His time with Shojiro had always been fun.  
  
Rather than seeing anger when the door opened, Jun saw surprised, yet familiar, eyes looking back at him, “Sho-san…” Jun gasped.  
  
Jun’s eyes shifted between Shojiro’s sleeping form in his arms and Sho in front of him. Everything then sunk in. The familiarity he saw in Shojiro’s features were due to the boy’s splitting resemblance to his father, Sakurai Sho.  
  
“Jun… I…”  
  
Before Sho could say anything else, Shojiro moaned in his sleep. Jun took this chance to make an excuse to get away, asking Sho where he could lie Shojiro first because handing the sleeping boy in Sho’s arms could risk waking Shojiro up. Jun didn’t know how long he could hold the emotions that erupted from the moment he saw Sho for the first time after splitting up.  
  
When he laid Shojiro on the couch, Jun instantly headed for the door. Sho grabbed his arm, halting his steps. Jun didn’t want to look at Sho again. The clench in his chest was overwhelming. It was bringing tears to his eyes, but Jun tried to hold it off.  
  
“Wait, Jun… I need-“  
  
“Goodnight, Sho-san.” Jun cut in.  
  
Jun didn’t want Sho to say anything more. He had enough of Sho’s excuses. He pulled his hand away as Sho easily let go of him. He went straight to his car and drove off. When he was streets away, Jun finally pulled over. His eyes were already blurry with tears as he finally let them flow.  
  
Sho was Shojiro’s father. He was Arimura Yuka’s ex-husband. They were divorced for two years already.  
Jun didn’t know which of Sho’s lies he was angrier about: the one where he claimed to be married, when in fact he was already divorced, or the one where he said he loved Jun.  
  
All in all, Sho’s actions told Jun one thing. Other than for sex maybe, _Sho didn’t want Jun in his life_. That pained Jun more because to be in Sho’s life was what he had wanted from the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Now we know that Sho is divorced when he and Jun got together right? The question is, why Sho hides it and act like he is still married? Well, answers will be revealed in later chapters, so better watch out!_
> 
>  
> 
> _A little spoiler: Chapter 5 is about a sort-of-domestic life for Sakumoto, but with this chapter’s ending, do you think it’s possible? Nurufufufufu~~~_
> 
>  
> 
> _Thanks for reading. Love to hear from you guys! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!_


	6. After Five O' Clock

Jun liked to think that knowing who Shojiro’s father was hadn’t affected his relationship with the boy. He still played and read books with Shojiro whenever he went to the kindergarten.  
  
There were just moments that Jun found himself looking at Shojiro for a long time. His mind would drift somewhere, envisioning how the Sakurai household looked like.  
  
Jun imagined how the morning went. Sho would be in the kitchen, trying to fry pancakes without burning anything in the morning. He’d still burn it. Nevertheless, Shojiro would say it was delicious. Sho would be beaming then. He was touched and proud. The glimmer in his eyes showed how happy he was to have Shojiro as his child.  
  
Jun also visualized how night time was in Shojiro's room. The father and son would be sitting in the bed with Shojiro sitting in between Sho's legs. There was a book about the solar system in the boy's lap. Sho would tell stories about stars and planets, and Shojiro would listen excitedly until the boy fell asleep in Sho’s arms. Sho would tuck Shojiro underneath the covers, kissing his child goodnight.  
  
There were dozens of different scenarios playing in Jun’s mind, but there was one thing in common that turn Jun into an emotional mess inside. Those scenarios would end with Sho looking at him with a fond smile. It was like Jun was observing the scene unfolding close by. It was as if he was a part of it, a part of Sho’s and Shojiro’s daily life.  
  
That though left Jun angry at himself. He wasn’t supposed to think like that. It was clear already that Sho didn’t want him. Why kept on pushing himself back to Sho’s life?  
  
“An-chan…”  
  
_Stop being stupid, Matsumoto Jun._  
  
“An-chan…”  
  
Jun’s reverie was cut at the call. He blinked his eyes, realizing that Shojiro had been calling him. He smiled at the boy, who had been looking at him expectantly. “Hai?”  
  
“What’s this word?” Shojiro reached out the book towards Jun, pointing at the word he was asking about.  
  
They were sitting side by side at a corner in the classroom. It was free time after their lunch break. Rather than joining Ohno and Nino at the front liked most children did, making origami, Shojiro stayed behind with Jun. He was reading the book Jun had bought him days before. Shojiro said with a grimace that art wasn’t for him.  
  
Jun hid a laugh with his hand, remembering someone saying the same thing.  
  
“Wish, Shojiro.” Jun replied. Shojiro nodded in understanding, repeating the word to familiar himself with it. Jun just observed him, amused at how serious he was. The knitted eyebrows and serious gaze in his face reminded Jun of someone. _He really looks like him._  
  
Jun shook his head to shake his thoughts off, not liking where they were heading. _You can’t think of Sho anymore. Seriously, Matsumoto Jun, get a grip._ He groaned inwardly.  
  
"Is something wrong, an-chan?" Jun looked to his side, shaking his head.  
  
"No... I was just thinking of something." Jun replied. He then asked, “Is it okay if I leave you first for a couple of minutes? I’ll just go to the bathroom.”  
  
Shojiro hummed his response, getting back to his book afterwards. Jun let him be and went to his destination after patting the boy’s head.  
  
Once in the bathroom, Jun splashed water on his face. He needed to compose himself especially around Shojiro. He felt guilty to the kid, having thoughts like that that involved him and Sho. Although, Sho was divorced with Shojiro’s mother even before they got together, Jun couldn't help but feel sorry to the boy. He didn’t know he was robbing the time Sho could have spent with Shojiro before.  
  
Jun dried his face before taking a deep break. He took a last look at the mirror. _Snap out of it._ Jun scolded to himself before leaving the bathroom.  
  
Once outside, Jun closed the door behind him. He was about to go back to the classroom, but he couldn’t take another step after seeing two people talking in the middle of the corridor. One was his older sister, and the other was…  
  
_It’s Sho._  
  
Jun took a step back, deciding to hide in the bathroom, but he ended up colliding with the bathroom’s closed door. The noise the collision created made Juri and Sho looked at Jun’s direction. Like Jun’s, Sho’s eyes widened in recognition. On the other hand, Juri was chuckling softly, thinking Jun was just being clumsy. She was unaware how awkward the situation was for the two men.  
  
“Don’t hurt yourself, stupid.” Juri joked.  
  
Jun glared at Juri, momentarily forgetting there was another person with them in the hallway until Juri gasped. “Oh, right.”  
  
Juri prompted Jun to come closer. Although reluctant, Jun did, offering a small bow in Sho’s direction.  
  
“This is Shojiro’s…”  
  
“…father.” Jun completed for Juri, earning a surprised looked from his sister. “I dropped Shojiro home last time when I took him out after class, remember?” Jun explained, trying to sound casual.  
  
“Ah, yes.” Juri clapped her hands, recalling that day when no one could pick Shojiro up, and Jun agreed to babysit the boy.  
  
“See, I told you, Sakurai-san. It’s okay. Shojiro is a wonderful kid. We’ll watch over him till you’re able to pick him up later.” Juri turned to Sho, assuring him. She patted Jun’s shoulder while continuing, “Jun, here, will probably do it. He loves having Shojiro around. Shojiro will be alright in the capable hands of my younger brother, and I can vouch for that.” Juri reassured, and Sho smiled at that.  
  
“Onee-san~” Jun groaned after hearing Juri’s exaggeration, making her laugh softly. Jun could feel his cheeks heating up. When he took a glance towards Sho’s direction, Jun found the older man’s eyes were focused at him. It made Jun conscious. He instantly looked away, clearing his throat.  
  
Jun was about to excuse himself, but Sho beat him to it.  
  
“I must be going, Sensei. Again, I’m really sorry for all the troubles I’ve cause you and the staff. It’s just that it had been chaotic at work and schedules were messed up. I’ll try to pick Shojiro up as soon as I can.” Sho said, looking apologetic.  
  
Juri dismissed it, “Don’t worry about it. We’re happy to have Shojiro here anyways.”  
  
Sho smiled, full of gratitude and relief. He shook hands with Juri, repeating how thankful he was. He paused when he turned to Jun.  
  
“I… Thank you, Ju-… Matsumoto-san.”Sho stuttered. He gave a brief nod at Jun and turned heels, leaving for work.  
  
Jun watched as Sho walked away. He finally let go of the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He bit his lower lip. He was worried. Despite dressing sharp and elegant as always, Sho's lost of weight and the dark circles under his eyes were evident.  
  
"Quite hardworking, don't you think?” Juri commented when Sho was out of sight. Jun could only nod, choosing to stay silent.  
  
"He seemed to be a keeper. I wonder why their marriage didn't work." Juri asked as an afterthought, sounding curious.  
  
Jun pondered. It wasn't his fault. He was sure of it now. _Still, he felt guilty._  
  
  
  
Jun excused himself early, not waiting for the end of the class. When Juri asked him why he couldn’t stay to watch over Shojiro, he lied that he still needed to re-edit spreads for a magazine issue the studio was working on. His lie tasted bitter in his mouth. It wasn’t just to Juri whom he was lying to. Shojiro was expecting him to stay too, but he couldn't just bring himself to see Sho and Shojiro in one picture that day.  
  
If Juri knew something was wrong, she didn’t point it out. She just wished him good luck instead.  
  
After he got home, Jun had cans of beer beside him as he stayed at his apartment's balcony. By midnight, he was surrounded by dozens of empty cans. Dried tears were on his flush cheeks. It was a cold night. It wasn’t comparable to the coldness he felt in his heart though.  
  
Jun kept wondering why such wonderful people entered his life under such circumstances. First was Sho. There was also Shojiro. They brought happiness to Jun. Sadly, among it came _heartaches and guilt_.  
  
  
  
From then on, Jun avoided crossing paths with Sho. It was hard since the kindergarten was still short in manpower, and Juri had asked him to help out. _(They couldn’t really rely on Ohno and Nino since the couple went somewhere. Nino would be leaving for America in two weeks after all.)_ Somehow, he still managed to hide. All he had to do was go away before the class ended. Juri had been giving Jun questioning stares at those times, but she didn’t say anything. He was thankful. Jun knew that Juri already sensed something was up, yet she didn’t dare to pry.  
  
Jun was also glad that Sho was making time for Shojiro. Jun could see how happy Shojiro was whenever the boy told him about his daily activities with his father. His eyes were glimmering with joy.  
  
Maybe this was better, and whatever Jun had with Sho wasn’t meant to be. At least with this, Shojiro won’t suffer. His parents’ divorce was enough already, and Jun didn’t want to complicate it much further.  
  
But then, Jun didn’t know it was already complicated from the very start. He only needed to hear from another person’s perspective.  
  
It was another day in the kindergarten, and Jun was about to head out till Juri called him, “Jun, I’m sorry. I know you’ll go to the studio after this, but can you stay behind and wait for Sakurai-san instead?"Juri asked, looking anxious.  
  
“Is something wrong?” Jun asked worriedly. This was the first time he had seen his sister uneasy in awhile.  
  
“Masayuki just called me. I need to go to the hospital.” Juri explained as she gathered her things.  
  
“Did something happen to onii-san?” Jun asked, getting concerned for his sister’s husband.  
  
“No… it’s his mother. She was rushed to the hospital. It seemed she got flu or something, and it’s bad for someone in her age.” Juri clarified. Jun could only nod.  
  
“I can ask Becky to stay behind instead, but I heard her parents just got back in town. So…” Juri left her words hanging, checking whether Jun would refuse or not.  
  
"It's okay... I can stay behind.” Jun gave in, smiling to reassure his sister.  
  
Juri sighed in relief. “Thank you.” She said, kissing Jun’s cheek. "Don't worry, it wouldn't be that late like last time. Just a few minutes I guess." Juri added before leaving.  
  
The bell rang, signaling the end of class for that day.  
  
_So much for avoiding any interaction with Sho in the presence of Shojiro._  
  
  
  
One by one, the children left with their parents. The other staffs also left to retire for the day. That left Jun and Shojiro to themselves. It wasn’t like Jun didn’t like it. He enjoyed spending time with Shojiro after all. He just didn’t know how he would face Sho again.  
  
Jun tried to remove such thoughts and worries, concentrating on playing with Shojiro, but as time ticked by, he grew worried. Shojiro's face started to show disappointment. Jun then remembered Shojiro saying something about Sho promising to bring the boy to a planetarium after class.  
  
"I'm sure your father is on his way." Jun said as an excuse. It was already half an hour after five. The planetarium would be close at six. Jun had doubts that the father and son could make it to their destination if Sho arrived now since it was rush hour. To think that Sho was late, which he never was before, made Jun agitated. Juri said he wouldn't be that late in picking the boy up like before. Where Sho could be?  
  
Jun thought of calling Sho through his phone. He might had erase Sho's number in his phone's memory, but it was still etched in his mind. He could even dial it with closed eyes.  
  
"I guess, papa is too busy to bring me to the planetarium ne, an-chan?" Shojiro said. He had a small smile, but Jun could see sadness in the his eyes.  
  
This made Jun's blood boil. He hated it when people made promises and never fulfill it. Without a second thought, he dialed Sho's number.  
  
Jun tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. He was looking outside through the window. Shojiro was playing with toy animal sat the other side of the room. It pleased Jun that Shojiro was distracted. At least if Sho arrived, Jun could give the older man a piece of his mind.  
  
Five calls had been made then and all went to voice mail. Jun didn't know anymore whether he was still mad or he was just really worried at Sho's lack of response.  
  
Jun decided to bring Shojiro home and wait for Sho to arrive there instead. The drive to scold Sho once he met the older man didn't change though.  
  
After pulling over at Sakurai's neighborhood, Jun could see a car already park in front of the house. It was the same one he saw when he first brought Shojiro home.  
  
"Sho had been here all along?" Jun muttered under his breath. _What the hell was he thinking? He made Shojiro wait for nothing._  
  
"Let's hope your papa has a surprise for you inside the house instead." Jun gritted as he removed the seatbelt around Shojiro. The boy was confused at Jun’s tone but didn’t say anything.  
  
When they entered the house, it was indeed a surprise that welcomed them, but it wasn't one that Jun liked.  
  
"SHO!"  
  
"PAPA!"  
  
Jun and Shojiro hurried over the lying figure of Sho on the floor. Jun cradled Sho's body, finding the man was burning with fever.  
  
"Sho-san! Sho-san! Sho-san!" Jun called, trying to wake Sho up. Sho did manage to open his eyes, but it was half-lidded. Jun could tell Sho was already slipping out of consciousness.  
  
"Hey~" Sho rasped, trying to sound cheerful.  
  
"Is papa okay?" Shojiro asked. He was kneeling beside Jun, confused on what was happening.  
  
Sho reached out, patting the boy's head. "Sorry, Shojiro... But Papa c-can't take you yet to the pla-netarium.” Sho said. He tried to smile, but it came weak. Still with a determined face, he said, “Next t-time… I’ll make sure we’ll go t-there ne?” Sho coughed a couple times before blacking out.  
  
"Papa?" Shojiro called, holding Sho's hand that landed in his lap. Jun could see tears forming in his eyes, and Jun needed to do something to calm the boy. An idea popped inside Jun's mind.  
  
"Papa is just sick Shojiro.” Jun consoled Shojiro. “If you help an-chan, I'm sure Papa will recover quickly. Will you be my assistant?”  
  
Shojiro looked back at Jun with his round eyes. He rubbed his eyes to remove his tears and nodded eagerly. Jun cupped Shojiro's cheek, wiping the last tear that escaped Shojiro's eyes.  
  
"Let's do our best then?" Jun said, and Shojiro gave another eager nod.  
  
With a little struggle, Jun managed to bring Sho in the older man's bedroom with Shojiro in tow. He instructed Shojiro to watch over Sho as he searched Sho's closet for a change of clothes. Sho was drenching with sweat, and it wouldn't do the older man good.  
  
Jun changed Sho's dress suit to sweats after wiping Sho’s body with towel drenched with tap tower. At least, it would help in bringing down Sho's fever. Shojiro was also a great help, telling Jun where to find things he needed. He had Shojiro stay Sho’s side as he went to the kitchen to make something Sho could eat. Jun knew Sho wasn't someone who cooked, but he was glad the kitchen had enough ingredients for him to make porridge.  
  
Jun wasn't expecting that he was in for another surprise when the doorbell rang. As he opened the front door, he found a familiar lanky man standing at the door step.  
  
"Aiba-san?"  
  
"Oh, Matsumoto-san! It's nice seeing you again." Aiba greeted with glee, but Jun was feeling the opposite. There was a lump in his throat, and he couldn't bring himself to answer Aiba's cheerful greeting.  
  
“W-where is Sho-chan?” Aiba asked, not seeing the owner of the house.  
  
"Uncle Masa!"  
  
Jun and Aiba looked towards the direction of the stairs where the call came from. Shojiro, who seemed to be excited to see the newcomer, came running down in haze but careful enough not to trip. Aiba chuckled and crouched down. He opened his arms to catch Shojiro in a hug.  
  
"Uncle?"Jun repeated. That was when everything sunk in. He remembered Yuka mentioning a cousin who was close to Shojiro and the one who had been taking care of the boy if both parents couldn't.  
  
Aiba stood up with Shojiro still in his arms. "So where's your papa?" Aiba asked Shojiro instead.  
  
“Upstairs. Papa is sick.” Shojiro replied with a pout. It reminded Jun of what Shojiro was suppose to be doing.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be watching our patient upstairs, nurse?" Jun asked, playfully raising his eyebrow at the boy.  
  
Shojiro's cheeks turned flush, looking away shyly. "I am... But I heard Uncle Masa's voice, and Papa is still sleeping..." Shojiro tried to excuse, hiding his face in Aiba's neck.  
  
Jun started teasing the boy. He was unaware of the looks Aiba was giving his and Shojiro's interaction.  
  
To be honest, Jun was still awkward around Aiba, but the lanky man was indeed friendly. He was also a big help, not just in taking care of Sho but in diverting Shojiro’s attention, so that Jun could concentrate in nursing Sho. It was also a good thing Shojiro was there though. It made things easier for all of them to be in the same room.  
  
As Jun spoon-fed Sho, Aiba was doing the same thing with Shojiro since they decided to eat at Sho's room just so he wouldn't be left behind. It was also a funny sight, seeing the cheerful Aiba scolding Sho for overworking too much.  
  
When Shojiro was finished with dinner, the boy had been narrating animatedly what had happened in school. He was standing in the middle of the bed to emphasize his stories.  
  
By that time, Jun had set aside the porridge and let Sho have his medicine. On the other hand, Aiba was the only one eating. He also added some of his own stories of what happened in work.  
  
Maybe Jun was enjoying too much seeing how lively the father and son were despite Sho being sick that he didn't notice the added weight in his shoulder, or how warm his side was for sitting too close to another person. It didn’t register to him that it was Sho’s head resting in his shoulder, and they were closely sitting side by side as they listened to Shojiro’s stories. He wasn’t aware how Aiba was observing them silently. Jun thought this was one of those scenarios in his mind where he was just an observer of the interaction between father and son. In Jun’s mind, he wasn’t a part of it. He’d be leaving them to Aiba's care later on anyways, or so he thought...  
  
When Sho was resting in his room, and there was improvement in his condition, Jun checked on Shojiro. The boy was sleeping soundly, probably tired from all that had happened tonight. Jun approached the boy's bed.  
  
"Sweet dreams..."Jun murmured before landing a kiss at Shojiro's forehead. He left the room and headed downstairs, intending to say goodbye to Aiba. He ended up having a long talk with Aiba over a nice cup of coffee in the kitchen instead.  
  
They talked a lot of things. He was able to confirm that Aiba was Yuka's cousin. He learned that after going back to Tokyo because of a promotion, Aiba, who had a job as veterinarian in the city, was the one who helped her settled back. Aiba also helped in taking care of Shojiro since both parents' jobs were demanding. Aiba relayed that Yuka was transferred to a branch overseas, revoking her custody over Shojiro and conferred it to Sho. Aiba helped Sho in adjusting, alternating in looking out for the boy as Sho settled everything in work.  
  
Jun didn't know how, but somehow, he was able to open everything regarding his relationship with Sho. How it started, how it became complex, and how it ended, Jun told Aiba everything like the other man was his long time friend. Maybe it was Aiba's gentle and nonjudgmental smile that made Jun to open up. This was the first time Jun talked to someone else about everything that had been going between him and Sho.  
  
That was why it was a surprise when Aiba told his two cents of the situation.  
  
"I know I'm not in the right place to say this, but Sho-chan needs you more than he admits it." Aiba said. He sipped from his cup before continuing. "He's stubborn, burdening his problems on his own... And look where it got him, he got sick. Stupid Sho-chan."  
  
Jun smiled wryly, "I don't think it really has to do with what happened to us..."  
  
"I think it has, Matsumoto-san. He seemed truly happy when I saw you guys together the first time before he saw me." Aiba said, nodding to himself before adding, "And I rarely saw him _that happy_ when he was alone with Yuka-chan." He stated as a matter of fact.  
  
Jun raised an eyebrow at Aiba. If he was reading between the lines right, Aiba was implying that Sho and Yuka's marriage was doomed right from the start.  
  
"I never understood why they agreed with that arranged marriage anyways. Yuka-chan and Sho-chan might be close, but not to the point of being lovey-dovey. If Sho-chan married his boyfriend before, Yuka may have been the best man then."Aiba said nonchalantly, laughing at his last sentence.  
  
Jun's interest was perked up at what Aiba had said, but he didn't get to dwell on it after hearing Aiba's next words.  
  
"If I'd be honest, I think he'd hit off pretty well with you."  
  
Jun chuckled sardonically, "Yeah, it hit off fast, and look where it got us."  
  
There was silence between them. Jun was twirling his mug for the lack of things to do. It took a few minutes before Aiba finally spoke again, "I dunno why Sho-chan did what he did, but there's got to be a reason..."  
  
"A good lay?"  
  
"Nah, I don't think it's like that... He'll definitely just fuck a-," Aiba started blabbing, unaware of the words he used till Jun reprimanded him.  
  
"Aiba-san, watch your language."  
  
"Oops, sorry about that."Aiba said sheepishly, looking around to see if Shojiro was around. Although Shojiro was sleeping in his room, the boy could have gone down to ask for water or something. Jun and Aiba laughed at their silliness, but it was better to be sure.  
  
When they calmed down, their talk turned serious again. "You know what I mean though..." Aiba said, wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
"It doesn't seem like it though."Jun sighed.  
  
"No, Sho-chan isn't like that." Aiba shook his head. He looked at Jun with an encouraging smile. "A reason is a reason nevertheless... If anything, he's the one who is suffering the most."  
  
"He makes it complicated for himself then..." Jun pointed out.  
  
"Well, adults make things complicated than it already is." Aiba shrugged before sipping from his cup again.  
  
Jun would have to agree, thinking about what he did after finding out about Sho’s family. Jun then thought about another person in the picture, "But Shojiro..."  
  
"Mah, Shojiro is a bright kid. He may not fully understand things, but it doesn't mean he isn't open-minded...  And he'll definitely tell us when he doesn't like things or someone." Aiba said joyfully. He looked at Jun, reaching out his hand to pat Jun’s shoulder. "It seems he likes you around, and he doesn't object with you being around Sho-chan too… and that's good enough. If anything, just be patient with these two... Especially to Sho-chan..."  
  
Aiba sighed, leaning back in his chair and looking at the ceiling."Sho-chan likes to take care of everything and everyone that he forgets to take care of himself..." Aiba looked at Jun before continuing, "Sho-chan's methods might not be the best as he had hope, but he always makes sure he does it with a reason. All he needs is understanding, and maybe someone who can break his shell."  
  
Jun looked at Aiba.  He didn't know how to respond to what Aiba had said. There was a pregnant pause. He glanced at his wristwatch, seeing that it was getting late. He thought maybe it was better to leave.  
  
"It's getting late, Aiba-san. I should be going." Jun excused, standing up already.  
  
"I'm sure Sho-chan would like it if you stay."Aiba said, halting Jun from making another move to leave. "I'll take the couch." He offered with a mischievous smile.  
  
Jun was reluctant, but he nodded. He was still worried with Sho's condition in any case. It wasn’t that he didn't trust Aiba in taking care of the older man, but Jun would have a peace of mind if he knew how Sho was doing.  
  
"Goodnight, Matsumoto-san." Aiba said after settling in the couch.  
  
"Goodnight, Aiba-san." Jun greeted before climbing the stairs.  
  
Jun was looking for the guest room only to find out that there were only three rooms in the second floor: a bathroom, Sho’s room, and Shojiro’s room. Jun finally get what Aiba was implying when he offered to sleep at the couch. Jun could just shake his head. Aiba was really something.  
  
Jun took a deep breath, choosing between sleeping beside Shojiro or in Sho's room. The first choice was tempting, but he still needed to look out for Sho. Jun decided for the latter choice. He remembered there was a chair beside Sho’s bed. It would be uncomfortable to sleep at, but at least it would give Jun freedom to roam around if Sho needed something.  
  
Jun was making himself comfy on the seat beside Sho’s bed when a hand grabbed his wrist. When he looked to the bed, Sho was awake. The light of the lamp lightened Sho’s features. Sho was still groggy and a bit pale, but Jun could feel Sho’s firm grip around his wrist.  
  
“You need to sleep more, Sho-san.” Jun urged the older man, touching Sho’s forehead. He sighed in relief. Sho’s temperature wasn’t alarming anymore.  
  
Sho nodded. “I know…”  
  
Jun moved the chair closer, caressing Sho’s hair unconsciously afterwards. Jun was about to move to get the towel discarded in the basin, planning to cool Sho’s forehead, but he couldn’t do much with Sho’s grip still around his wrist.  
  
“Wait, Sho-chan… I’ll just put a tower in your head.” Jun said to make Sho let go of his hand.  
  
Sho shook his head, pulling Jun closer as if to tell the younger man to lie down with him. “Stay…” He said.  
  
“But…”  
  
“Please stay, Jun.” Sho said louder this time.  
  
Jun could only comply, squeezing himself in Sho’s bed. One way or another, they were able to fit themselves at one side of Sho’s bed, not caring that there was a big space left on the other side. Sho’s arms were around Jun, and he didn’t mind the additional heat of Sho’s body around him. Like a pillow, Jun hugged Sho, finding it funny how they were able to cuddle like that despite Sho’s sickness or the circumstances they were in.  
  
Minutes later, Sho’s breathing evened out. The older man was peacefully sleeping in Jun’s arms. Jun also felt sleepy. He was quite exhausted.  
  
A lot of things had happened. With all honesty, Jun couldn’t still warp everything yet in his mind. His talk with Aiba made him think about everything with a different perspective. There were also factors to consider. He didn’t know either if they were allowed to do this. Technically, they had broken up.  
  
Still, there was tomorrow for everything though. After Sho recovered from his sickness, Jun would talk it out with Sho. _This time, there won’t be secrets._  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m here, Sho.” Jun finally answered before drifting to slumber.  
  
For tonight, Jun succumbed back to his and Sho’s little world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, maybe this chapter wasn’t that domestic as I thought it would be. I honestly think it’s all over the place, but I hope you girls paid attention to Aiba’s words because like Jun, you’ll be in for another surprise in the next chapter. Maybe "Sho/??" mystery would be solved by then. After all, it happened SIX YEARS AGO.


	7. Six Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder since this chapter has a lot of flashbacks: paragraphs written in past tense are happening in the present. Paragraphs written in present tense are happening in the past. Quite ironic don’t you think? Nurufufufu~

These two days had been surreal in Sho’s opinion. _(Yeah, it took him two days to recover completely from flu.)_  
  
Finding Jun in Sho’s home was one thing. Seeing Jun interacting with Aiba like Jun knew the lanky man long before was another. Judging with how awkward the situation was when Jun first met Aiba, Sho wouldn't picture those two people in one room. He did end things with Jun after all. But then, Jun had his way with people, and Aiba wasn't one to be a snob. It was inevitable that the two of them would click with each other.  
  
No, Sho wasn't jealous or anything. Jun's attention had mostly been directed towards him. The younger man had fed him, assisted him, and nursed him back to health. Jun had been in his house like the other man lived there. Jun cleaned mostly of it, done the laundry Sho wasn't able to do, and cooked meals for him and Shojiro _(with Aiba included. That man kept coming back since Jun’s cooking was the best)_. Jun had done nothing but took good care of them.  
  
Maybe he really couldn’t just believe it that Jun entered his life… _my real life that is_.  
  
If Sho would be honest, Jun was one of the most wonderful things that happened in his life. _(Of course, the other one was Shojiro’s birth.)_ Sadly, he met Jun in an unfavorable timing, and he couldn’t really give Jun his everything except his love that time.  
  
It was complicated really. It was him who made it like that actually, but Sho chose that. It seemed living and giving out lies was easier for Sho that time. It was a selfish choice, but he couldn’t burden anyone else with his baggage anymore.  
  
Sho had admitted to himself that his decisions were hasty and harsh. But then, it was better to end things fast and abrupt than make the suffering longer right? Cutting ties from the start was lesser evil than dragging people to misery in any case. It was twisted, but Sho believed things would work out in the end.  
  
Things did mostly work out somehow. Sho was able to let Yuka chase her dream. He had Shojiro in his care with a promise he would take care of the boy with his best ability. He just didn't expect that Jun would still be here after everything that had happened between them… _after everything that I had put him into._  
  
It was a quarter after six in the morning when Sho finally opened his eyes. His conscious was widely awake. The other man that had been sleeping beside him these two days was gone, but Sho could hear little rustles and buzzes somewhere within the house. Sho knew it was made by the same man, making breakfast for two people _(and a half). Jun doesn’t admit it, but he loves cooking._  
  
Sho went downstairs after getting up. He looked around and was pleased after seeing everything was in order. He got to thank Jun for that. Thinking about it, he had a lot to thank for. As he approached the kitchen, he could hear fits of laughter. Sho paused by the doorway that led to the kitchen, loving the sight he thought he would never see. In front of the stove were Jun and Shojiro. From the smell that floated around, Sho could tell Jun was cooking pancakes, and by Jun's side, Shojiro watched with interest as the boy narrated stories.  
  
"Daddy tried cooking Anpanman the other day..." Shojiro shared to Jun.  
  
"Anpanman? How it went?" Jun asked, smiling down to Shojiro in amusement.  
  
"It got burned." Shojiro pouted, and Jun laughed.  
  
Sho blushed from where he was standing, but he didn't make any move to protest. On second thought, he did burn that one.  
  
"Do you want to try making Anpanman then? I'm sure your papa will like it." Jun suggested. Shojiro nodded enthusiastically. Jun got a chair beside him and lifted the boy to stand there afterwards. He moved to the back of Shojiro as he guided the boy in creating a pancake that looked like Anpanman.  
  
The sight in front of Sho brought back memories from before. It wasn’t the same sight, but it had the same feelings in one way or another. Somehow, Sho felt refreshed and energize. It felt just right.  
  
  
  
_"'Morning~"._  
  
_"'Morning~"_  
  
_(Another man was in front of the stove, cooking something. Sho hugs the other man from behind.)_  
  
_“Coffee?”_  
  
_(Sho peeks over the other man's shoulder before nuzzling his nose against the other man's neck.)_  
  
_"Pancakes too?"_  
  
_(The other man chuckles before flipping the pancake in the pan.)_  
  
_"Sho-chan, why do you like pancakes so much?"_  
  
_"Because it reminds me Anpanman I guess."_  
  
_"What?"_  
  
_(The other man laughs.)_  
  
_"I'm sure Shojiro will love pancakes as much as I do..."_  
  
_(Sho pauses.)_  
  
_"Especially yours."_  
  
_"Shojiro?! Who is Shojiro?"_  
  
_"The name of my son… our son… in the future.”_  
  
_(Silence. Only the sizzle of the pan can be heard until the other man switches off the stove. He turns around, encircling his arms around Sho's neck.)_  
  
_"Shojiro huh?"_  
  
_(The other man repeats the name. He smiles.)_  
  
_"Well, it has a punch."_  
  
_(Sho grins.)_  
  
  
  
"Papa!"  
  
Sho snapped out of his reverie. He found Shojiro was already standing on the floor. The boy was probably done making Anpanman under Jun's guidance.  
  
"Good Morning!” Shojiro greeted happily. On the other hand, Jun turned to Sho, smiling shyly.  
  
Shojiro ran towards Sho. Sho crouched down to scoop the boy up, making Shojiro giggle.  
  
"Papa! I made Anpanman! I made Anpanman!" Shojiro announced gleefully.  
  
"Really? Where is Anpanman then?"  
  
"There! There!" Shojiro pointed at the counter beside the stove. While carrying Shojiro, Sho approached the counter. There was indeed a pancake laid out in a plate that looked like Anpanman.  
  
"Wow, that's better than what Papa did!" Sho cooed, making Shojiro giggle again.  
  
"Yay, I beat papa in cooking!" Shojiro shouted. He turned to Jun, "An-chan, I beat papa in cooking!"  
  
"Oh yes, you did." Jun smiled, squishing Shojiro's cheeks.  
  
Sho observed the interaction silently. He felt like his heart soared.  
  
Jun glanced at the clock in the wall. He asked Shojiro, "Did you fix the things you'll bring to school?"  
  
Shojiro shook his head. Jun smiled and gave instructions, "Go upstairs first. An-chan will just finish here then I'll help you get ready okay?"  
  
Shojiro nodded. Sho put him down after he pecked Sho's and Jun's cheeks. The boy ran excitedly towards the stairs as the adults watched him till he was out of sight.  
  
Jun turned back in cooking the remaining pancake mix. Sho just stood at the same spot, observing the younger man quietly. Before the silence stretched, Jun asked without looking, "Coffee?"  
  
Sho didn't reply. Instead, he went at Jun's back, hugging the younger man from behind. Jun stiffened in his arms, but Sho didn't let it bother him.  
  
"Thank you..." Sho whispered before burying his face against Jun's nape. He felt Jun relaxing, and he was glad Jun didn't push him away.  
  
"Thank you for staying..." Sho clarified this time. He could feel, or rather hear, Jun taking a deep breath before switching the stove off.  
  
Sho lifted his head when he felt Jun turning around to face him. They were eye to eye. Both were blushing from the close contact. Sho tilted his head, getting ready to put a kiss in Jun's lips. Jun's eyes closed in anticipation until...  
  
"AN-CHAN!"  
  
Sho and Jun instantly pulled away from each other after hearing Shojiro's shout from upstairs, both looking flustered. It was awkward, but it was also funny in Sho's opinion.  
  
"I... I better go and check on Shojiro."Jun excused himself.  
  
Sho watched in amusement as Jun left the kitchen. The fact that they were acting like a lovesick couple in their new life after marriage fascinated Sho to no end aside for the reason that Jun was wearing his clothes _(since Jun hadn't gone home ever since that day)._  
  
"Lovesick couple?"Sho mused. He didn't object that idea in his head.  
  
  
  
"Don't I get to drive you both there?" Sho pouted as he walked Jun and Shojiro towards Jun's car after breakfast. Since he recovered already, he thought at least he could drop them both off at the kindergarten.  
  
"No, you just recovered. It's better if you take it easy here because getting relapse is worse, Sho-san." Jun reprimanded. Worry can be seen in his face. Sho's pout didn't disappear though, but he still gave a nod. Jun chuckled as he opened the car door of the driver’s seat.  
  
"I'll come back later to drop Shojiro off later after class. Just heat the lunch I prepared for you." Jun reminded as he get out of the car again after starting the engine.  
  
"I will." Sho replied while lifting Shojiro up. He went to the back and opened the door of the back seat to let Shojiro sit there.  
  
"Be a good boy, okay?" Sho said.  
  
Shojiro nodded before asking curiously, "Papa, will you read me books again?"  
  
Sho pretended to be thinking about his answer as he strapped the seatbelt around Shojiro. When there was a pout forming in Shojiro's face, he kissed Shojiro's forehead. "Of course." He promised. Shojiro cheered, directing thumbs up at him. Sho replied it by doing the same before closing the door.  
  
Sho turned to Jun who had been watching them. The younger man was grinning while leaning his side against the car.  
  
"We'll be going then." Jun said, and Sho just gave another nod. Jun turned serious when he gave Sho another reminder, "Please don't forget to drink your medicine, Sho-san."  
  
"Yes, doctor." Sho kidded.  
  
Jun laughed softly before sitting again to the driver's seat.  
  
Sho didn’t know what do. He didn’t want to leave things hanging. When Jun was about to close the door, Sho put his hand over Jun’s on the car’s door.  
  
"Thank you." Sho said. He hoped his voice and smile were enough to show how grateful he was.  
  
"It's nothing." Jun said, trying to sound nonchalant. Still, Sho could see blush in Jun's cheeks, making him grin goofily.  
  
"I'll see you later." Sho said, squeezing Jun's hand under his. Jun gave a shy nod. Their joined hands closed the car's door before Sho pulled his hand back.  
  
"Take care."Jun said before steering the wheel.  
  
"Bye Papa!" Shojiro shouted, and Sho waved at his child. He watched Jun's car moving away until it was out of sight.  
  
As Sho entered his home, he felt kind of empty. It always did when he went home alone. But something inside made him look forward for the afternoon. He thought it was about time he took Jun to a proper date. No more hiding. It was about time he grasped the idea that he was already divorced, and Jun deserved better from him. Honestly, he didn’t know whether he really did deserve the younger man, but he wanted to try. For all he knew, after these weeks he had been alone, Sho learned that he needed Jun in his life. Starting from now on, he would treat Jun right just as he was supposed to from the very start. He just hoped it wasn’t too late yet for the two of them.  
  
Before negativity flooded his mind, Sho set out to plan for his and Jun’s first official date. He needed help, so he dialed Aiba's phone. Once the other man answered, Sho asked if he was free tonight.  
  
"Yeah, I don't have any plans.” Aiba replied. He then asked excitedly, “Is MatsuJun cooking again tonight?"  
  
"Not really..." Sho mumbled. "MatsuJun?" Sho asked bemused when he finally caught how Aiba addressed Jun.  
  
"Yeah, and he didn't object. It seemed some of his friends call him that too." Aiba said proudly.  
  
Sho didn't know that. Thinking again, he didn't know much about Jun's life outside their relationship. It made Sho sad, knowing how he made this difficult for the two of them. He really needed to talk with Jun soon, but before anything, he needed to make sure his plan was in motion. "Anyways, I was hoping you can help me be alone with Jun for tonight."  
  
"Why? You're going to fuck his brains out in compensation for the lost time?" Aiba whistled.  
  
"Masa-kun!" Sho exclaimed, scandalized with Aiba's choice of words. He was blushing completely. It was a good thing they were only talking through phone. It would be more embarrassing than it already was if they were out in the public and people heard Aiba. Though Aiba's question wasn't far from what he had in mind.  
  
"Oops. Sorry about that." Aiba apologized. Sho could imagine Aiba bowing his head several times with an embarrass smile."So what you want me to do?" Aiba asked, diverting their conversation back to the topic.  
  
"I was hoping Shojiro can stay at your place for tonight."  
  
"Oooh... Don't tell me you're really planning on-"  
  
"Masa-kun, just…" Sho cut in before Aiba could say anything further. There were really just times Aiba's mouth was too loose for his own good, and green stuff kept on getting out.  
  
"Hai! Hai! Don't worry! I'll take good care of Shojiro..." Aiba assured Sho.  
  
"Thanks. I owe you one." Sho said in relief.  
  
"What time should I pick Shojiro up? Or should I just pick him from kindergarten after class?" Aiba asked nonchalantly. He didn't know that his suggestion was greater than what Sho had in mind.  
  
"Actually, that's better than what I had in mind." Sho mused. At least, he and Jun could spend time longer, thinking that he needed to go to work in the next morning.  
  
"Is Jun-pon in the kindergarten?" Aiba asked. Sho nodded, but he remembered they were only talking through phone."Yeah, he was going to drop Shojiro here later." Sho informed.  
  
"Then it would be better if we pick the two up. What you think?"Aiba suggested further. Sho could imagine the other man wiggling his eyebrows. Aiba could be genius at times.  
  
"Yeah, that will be great." Sho agreed.  
  
Aiba told Sho to pick him up by four in his apartment since Aiba's shift would end after lunch. It would give him enough time to fix his apartment so that Shojiro could stay.  
  
"You don't want Shojiro to find things inappropriate for his age, do you?" Aiba kidded before laughing like a hyena. Sho could only shake his head at Aiba's crazy antics.  
  
They talked a couple more minutes before Aiba said that he needed to hang up since his appointment had arrived already. Sho said thanks and was about to end the call but stopped when Aiba spoke again. "I’m really happy for you Sho-chan. Jun-kun is really a good person.”  
  
Sho took a deep breath, before asking. _He needed to know._ “Is this okay, Masaki?”  
  
Aiba might be one of Sho’s closest friends, but he was still Yuka’s cousin. Sho did meet him after befriending Yuka, and what he was doing now could be an insult for the fact that Yuka was Sho’s wife. It wasn’t that Aiba was judgmental or something. Aiba was a kind person and he never had prejudice over anyone.  
  
Aiba’s carefree laugh on the other line relaxed Sho’s over thinking mind, but his words freed Sho of doubts, “Everyone deserves to be Sho-chan… I’m sure Yuka would say the same.”  
  
“Thanks, Masaki.” Sho said one last time before Aiba said goodbye and hanged up.  
  
Sho stood for a couple of minutes in his spot, looking at his phone with a smile. Sho shrugged and went to Shojiro’s room with the intention of packing Shojiro’s stuff for the overnight at Aiba’s place.  
  
  
  
It was around after lunch when Sho finished taking a bath. He was looking for something decent to wear in closet when he spotted a red box hidden below the files of his clothes. Sho carefully took it out and placed it at his bed. Since he was covered with towel, he decided to change first into a pair of jeans, a printed white v- neck shirt before he could catch a cold. He also took out a jacket he would wear later on. He sat beside the red box on his bed and opened it. Inside was _that picture_ he used to put beside his picture with Yuka and Shojiro in the book shelf full of his favorite books.  
  
Ever since Shojiro started living with him, Sho had hidden that picture for some reasons he couldn’t really explain. He just felt that it shouldn’t be there. Sho shrugged and lifted the picture frame, revealing the other contents of the box.  
  
There were CDs from bands from different countries, souvenirs from trips and some receipts. Sho couldn’t help but laughed with all the things he had collected before. They were all from those times when he was still in college, struggling to finish his studies with flying colors just to please his family.  
  
Sho took out the CD first. He skimmed through each. There were CDs of artists such as Earth, Wind and Fire, X Japan, Beatles and rock band Kiss. Next were the souvenirs. There were a dream catcher (if he remembered clearly, it was from Hokkaido), a keychain, and a broken plate with dedications written on it. Too bad the writing was smudged already. Sho couldn’t read it anymore. Carefully, Sho laid out each of the item in the box on his bed.  
  
Sho got the receipts out of the box next without looking inside. Those receipts were full of creases and some texts were unreadable. He could only make out that they were from western themed restaurants, particularly from those that specialized stakes and burgers. There were also receipts of good-old-ramen houses he had visited in his college years.  
  
When he looked again at the box, Sho saw that there were still papers inside. It wasn’t just simple papers or notes but score sheets.  
  
How long had it been since he played piano? Sho did learn to play it when he was in grade school since his parents sent him to a lot of after-school programs. If Sho was honest, playing piano was the only thing he enjoyed the most out of those programs aside from soccer. If he was given a chance, he would have chosen to be a music major than an economic major.  
  
Sho looked at each sheet, playing them in his mind. Some were just playful compositions by him. Other sheets were written and composed by another man. When he saw the last score sheet, he couldn’t help but drift back to that time when he was a sophomore in college, and things had just been the same routine for Sho… _until I met him_.  
  
  
  
_Sho finishes his research for a term paper in the library. After the intensive hours he has conferred in that term paper, Sho wants to get home as soon as possible. It’s pretty late, and Sho likes to reward himself with a nice long sleep. Sho decides to pass by the music department since the gate there is the nearest out of the campus and to his dorm._  
  
_It is pretty dark outside. Although he hates admitting it, walking through the empty hallways scares Sho. The silence doesn’t help at all in easing the tremble he is feeling. That is why it frightens him when he hears a soft music resonating around the empty halls.  A humming voice accompanies it next. For some reason, Sho can’t help but to follow it._  
  
_There is light that seeps through the gap of the door in one of the music rooms. Sho decided to peek in, and there he sees another student, a male, behind the keys._  
  
_Sho doesn’t say anything. He just listens. It’s been a while since he hears someone playing a piece so beautiful. Sho is so into the mood that he doesn’t realize his eyes have been closed and the music has stopped._  
  
_“Sorry, it’s not done yet.”_  
  
_Sho opens his eyes in surprise. His cheeks are red of embarrassment for being found out._  
  
_“Sorry for intruding.” Sho apologizes, not knowing what to do. He is about to walk away when the other student calls him again._  
  
_“I don’t mind someone listening. If you like, you can see beside me.” The other man offers with a smile._  
  
_Sho blinks his eyes. He is astonished at the other man’s bold offer. It’s not like it is bad or anything though, but Sho is just surprised how straightforward the other man’s words is. It’s also the first time someone gives him that kind of vibe. Usually, people tend to avoid him because he has temper issues. The only one who can tolerate bad temper is another Economic major named Yuka Arimura, but that’s because Sho and Yuka have been classmates since high school._  
  
_The other man tilts his head sideways with a smirk, as if telling Sho, ‘I’m not going to bite you, you know?’_  
  
_Sho doesn’t think it will harm him. Yes, he is tired with all the studying he has done. Still, Sho can’t decline the offer._  
  
_As the night stretches, Sho remembers how much he enjoys music with the help of the man who he just met. As days pass, Sho falls in love all over again with music. He also falls in love with the man who has reminded him of that._  
  
  
  
Sho’s smile is fond as he read the notes in the sheet. He wondered if he could play it. The question was if he could actually play the piano again. It had been more or less six years since then since he last touched one.  
  
Sho scanned again the sheets he had in hand especially those he had composed before, wondering if he could play it for Jun. His composition weren’t the best, but he had done it with full of heart. Maybe he could dedicate one for Jun. Like him, Jun loved music.  
  
Sho chuckled. _I just hope he won’t mind listening to my crappy creations._  
  
Sho caught another sheet that gained his interest. Unlike the rest, it was smudged because of tear drops. Sho let out a shaky breath realizing why it turned out like that.  
  
  
  
_“I got-, what again?”_  
  
_“A scholarship! A scholarship to such prestigious school in Paris. It’s a good opportunity.”_  
  
_“You’re kidding right?”_  
  
_(Sho hides at a corner. He can’t be seen by two people talking in the hallway, but he can clearly hear the conversation.)_  
  
_“I don’t know if I should take it. I mean, I’m okay with what I have now. I only have two years left anyways.”_  
  
_“But it’s a good opportunity. It will be a waste if you turn it down.”_  
  
_“But Sho-chan…”_  
  
_“I’m sure your boyfriend can wait for you. Think about your future…”_  
  
_“I am thinking about the future… and that’s why I can’t leave him…”_  
  
_(Pauses.)_  
  
_“Sho-chan needs me more than now.”_  
  
_(Sho leaves silently.)_  
  
  
  
_“What the hell are you thinking about? Marry you? How can you even think of that?”_  
  
_“But it’s the only choice, Yuka. Do you think our parents will get off our backs once they know who I’m really with? They would enforce it more than before! Either ways, we’ll be married whether we want it or not.”_  
  
_“But you’re with him! I thought you’re going to fight for him, no matter what the consequences are? You two love each other.”_  
  
_(Sho stays silent.)_  
  
_“Don’t you love him anymore?”_  
  
_(Silence.)_  
  
_“Tell me what’s wrong, Sho-chan? You’re not telling me everything are you?”_  
  
_“I…”_  
  
_(Sho starts sobbing. Yuka hugs Sho.)_  
  
_“He needs to leave. He needs to.”_  
  
_(Sho’s sobs get louder. Yuka takes a deep breath.)_  
  
_“Only for two years right?”_  
  
_(Sho nods while still in Yuka’s embrace.)_  
  
_“I guess I’ll be Mrs. Sakurai for awhile then.”_  
  
  
  
  
_(Sho enters a music room. Another man is occupying the bench already behind the piano.)_  
  
_“Glad you can make it, Sho-chan!”_  
  
_“We need to break up.”_  
  
_(The other man stays silent. Sho takes a deep breath before looking at straight to the other man’s eyes. The other man composes himself.)_  
  
_“This will be our last anniversary then?”_  
  
_“Yeah, I’m engaged to Yuka.”_  
  
_“Thought so, people were buzzing around with that news. Congratulations then.”_  
  
_(The other man stands up, gets his backpack and walks towards the door. He stops when he’s beside Sho, pushing a score sheet in Sho’s chest. He looks down.)_  
  
_“My marriage gift for you guys. Congratulations again.”_  
  
_The other man leaves. Sho stands still. Tear drops one by one on the paper, blurring some notes written there.)_  
  
  
  
There was a twinge in his chest as Sho traced the blurred notes in the score sheet. His eyes were teary after remembering that day when he said goodbye to the man he had loved. _I’m sorry._ Sho wanted to say, but he never got the chance. Thinking again, he didn’t deserve the man’s forgiveness.  The other man was a wonderful person in Sho’s life, yet Sho discarded him like he was nothing.  
  
_I never fought for him._  
  
Ding!  
  
Sho’s eyes shifted to his phone in his bedside drawer. It alerted him that he just got a mail. After reaching for it, he found out that he received a message from Aiba, telling him that the other man was done and that Aiba could be pick-up anytime Sho was ready.  
  
Sho tried to calm himself. He put each of the stuff back to the box. He looked at the picture longer before putting it with the rest.  Sho decided it wasn’t yet the time to think about it. He still needed to fix things between him and Jun. Their relationship was shaky, and he didn’t want to prolong it.  
  
_Once everything is settled, I’ll definitely look for you and ask for your forgiveness._  
  
  
  
Sho picked Aiba up before coming to the kindergarten. They still needed to wait for at least twenty minutes before the class would end. Sho and Aiba decided to wait in the car. They were talking about trivial things until Sho got a call from Yuka, who was in America.  
  
Yuka said that Aiba had told her about his sickness and that she was worried because Sho tended to disregard his health. Sho assured her that he recovered already and that he and Shojiro were fine. After that Yuka bombarded him with questions about Jun’s stay at his house. He was surprised at first, but he remembered that Yuka had met Jun before when they only knew him as ‘an-chan’ that Shojiro talked about. If Yuka knew the nature of their relationship, she didn’t mention it. Sho was well aware Yuka already knew much (because Aiba could be a blabbermouth too), but he’ll definitely talk everything to her in the future. Before Yuka was his wife, she had been a dear friend to him, and she was also Shojiro’s mother.  
  
After hearing the bell ringing from the kindergarten, they ended the call with a promise to talk longer and with Shojiro. Yuka wished him good luck and good health. Sho said the same and to take care before hanging up.  
  
When they saw some parents walking out with their children, Aiba and Sho marched towards the kindergarten’s entrance just in time to see Jun and Shojiro walking out of the door with Juri in tow. Jun and Juri were talking about something, and it was Shojiro who noticed their presence.  
  
“PAPA!” Shojiro shouted and instantly ran towards Sho. Sho lifted him up before he kissed Sho’s cheek. He kissed Aiba’s cheek after the uncle asked for it. When Sho put down Shojiro again, Jun was in front of Sho already.  
  
“So this is your way of taking it easy, Sho-san?” Jun glared at Sho. His tone was rough despite Jun smiling. Sho suddenly became nervous. Jun was definitely mad, and that wasn’t good.  
  
“I…I just thought… maybe… uhm…” Sho stuttered, turning to Aiba to ask for help. Aiba looked away, whistling innocently. _So much for helping, you idiot._  
  
Jun was still glaring at Sho when he looked back to the younger man, and he didn’t exactly know how to appease the younger man. Maybe coming there was a bad idea. _It was Aiba’s idea nevertheless._  
  
“Did you eat your meal and take your medicine properly?” Jun asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Of course! You told me to.” Sho instantly answered, grabbing Jun’s hand and squeezing it. Somehow, it put a smile back to Jun’s face.  
  
“That’s good to hear.” Jun said, sounding relieved.  
  
“Papa!”  
  
The three looked towards the kindergarten’s entrance again, finding out that Shojiro had gone back in while they were talking. This time he was dragging someone with him.  
  
“Yes! Yes! I’m coming, Shojiro-kun.”  
  
Sho froze at the spot the moment he had a clearer view of who Shojiro was dragging. _“Kazu…”_  
  
The said man was now in standing in front of him, his hand holding Shojiro’s hand. Behind him was Ohno whom Sho remembered as Jun's friend.  
  
Nino smiled, “Ah, my guest was right then. Shojiro-kun here is your child.”  
  
Sho couldn’t utter a world. He couldn’t believe it. Six years ago, he had broken Nino’s heart in hopes of releasing the shorter man from the miseries of his life. That day, Nino was back again in his life.  
  
“Papa! Nino onii-chan is the man with you in that picture, right?” Shojiro asked excitedly.  
  
Sho could only nod his reply. His mind bombarded with a lot of emotions and memories.  
  
  
  
_“My marriage gift for you guys. Congratulations again.”_  
  
_(Nino leaves.)_  
  
  
  
_“I can’t tell them yet Nino… I’m really sorry.”_  
  
_“Hey, it’s okay. It’s not that I’m eager to meet them.”_  
  
_(Sho looks at Nino.)_  
  
_“Not that I don’t want to meet them.”_  
  
_(Silence.)_  
  
_“I just wish I could tell everyone you’re mine.”_  
  
_“But I am yours, Sho. And I don’t need anyone to acknowledge that except you.”_  
  
_(Nino kisses Sho in the lips.)_  
  
  
  
_“Please remind me not to come with you again if you ever decided to go on a trip.”_  
  
_“Come on, you had fun.”_  
  
_(Nino grunts.)_  
  
_“Just one more picture, then we can go back.”_  
  
_(Nino grumbles as Sho readies his camera for a picture.)_  
  
_“Just be thankful I love you too much to deny.”_  
  
_“Say cheese!”_  
  
_(Sho and Nino poses close together with bright smiles to the camera.)_  
  
  
  
_(Sho fidgets in his sit. Nino stops playing.)_  
  
_“You okay, Sho-chan?”_  
  
_“Uhm… I… Nino… I… I think… Uhm…”_  
  
_(Nino kisses Sho in the lips. Sho’s eyes widen.)_  
  
_“I love you too, Sakurai Sho.”_  
  
_(Sho blinks his eyes several times. Nino laughs.)_  
  
_“Eh? How did you-”_  
  
_“Yuka is right. You won’t be able to say it.”_  
  
_“Yuka? That’s woma-“_  
  
_(Nino kisses Sho again.)_  
  
  
  
_(Nino stops playing and looks at Sho.)_  
  
_“I haven’t gotten your name yet?”_  
  
_“Oh, I’m Sakurai Sho.”_  
  
_(Sho offers his hand for a handshake. Nino laughs before taking and shaking it.)_  
  
_“Ninomiya Kazunari at your service.”_  
  
_(Nino gives his two-fingers salute. Both of them laugh.)_  
  
_(Silence.)_  
  
_“Will you play more?”_  
  
_“Of course, Sho-chan.”_  
  
_(Nino starts playing again.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the mystery of Sho/?? is finally revealed. I present to you the entrance of Sakumiya couple in this story. Did anyone expect that? I told you guys (well maybe some?) that Ohmiya couple will still play a big part ne? Nurufufufufu~~~ 
> 
> There were also snippets of Sho and Yuka’s relationship and how things went. Most importantly, we got to see from Sho’s point of view. From this chapter and here on, it would be written in Sho’s POV. After all, there would be a lot of flash backs in his part from now on. Hope you wouldn’t mind the sudden change in POV. OTL
> 
> Next chapter would be entitled In the Seventh Floor or along those lines. More flashbacks coming in your way and a smut scene. The question is whether it will be Sakumiya or Sakumoto? Nurufufufufu~~~
> 
> If you guys got confused with things especially how I formatted flashbacks and such, just ask away. I'd try to explain it to you. Thanks for reading. Love to hear from you guys! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!


	8. Seven Glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same reminder: paragraphs written in past tense are happening in the present. Paragraphs written in present tense are happening in the past. I’m still being ironic so yeah~

It was an understatement to say that Sho was shock. It was definitely a surprise, but Sho couldn't put to words how he felt at that moment. Nonetheless, Sho was still happy that he got to meet Nino again. He just didn't know where to categorize that happiness in him. Was it because he was meeting someone who was a big part of his life? Or was it because Nino had been the loved of his life?  
  
"Nino-chan! Long time no see!"  
  
Sho was thankful to Aiba. He knew how to make an entrance without him knowing. At least, it helped him ground to the fact that this wasn’t an illusion, and everything was real.  
  
"It’s been long~” Nino agreed, smiling. Before Nino knew it, he was squished in a tight hug from Aiba. “Can’t breathe Aiba-san!Can’t breathe!” Nino wailed before Aiba finally let go.  
  
“I want a hug too! I want a hug too!” Shojiro piped in, making some of the adults laugh. Shojiro was scooped up by Aiba then and got the same squishy hug. Shojiro giggled in glee.  
  
“You guys know each other, Nino-chan?” Juri asked Nino, looking curious.  
  
“Long story short, I went to the same college as Sho-chan here and Yuka-chan until I was transferred to Paris. Since Aiba-san is Yuka's cousin, I got to know him too.” Nino answered, tilting his head towards Sho and Aiba at the mention of the men’s names. Juri nodded in understanding.  
  
Sho stayed silent, just observing as Aiba and Nino talked, catching up while Juri piped in from time to time. Ohno didn’t say much, but Sho knew the man was listening to the conversationas well.  
  
Sho couldn’t join in the conversation. Not when his mind wasn’t ready for anything related to Nino at the moment. Healso didn’t trust his mouth to say something coherent. It was kind of funny how it turned out like this. Just earlier, Sho thought of his past, reminiscing those times he was a teenager with temper issues and falling in love with the man who was in front of him that moment. Nino was within his reach, but Sho couldn’t do anything. He thought if he saw Nino again, he would be ready to face the shorter man. Yet there he was, just standing still.  He wanted to hug Nino, even just touch him, but Sho couldn’t make himself move. He just kept looking at Nino. He didn’t notice there was another man beside him who hadn’t said a word as well till…  
  
“Sho-san, are you okay?”  
  
Sho slowly looked at his side. He forgot Jun was with them, had been standing beside him all this time. When Sho faced Jun, the other man was looking worried back at him. Sho just gave a brief nod to assure Jun.  
  
“Ah! You guys will be drinking together for Nino’s send-off party?” Juri remembered, pertaining to Jun, Nino and Ohno.  
  
“Send-off party?” Sho managed to choke. _Who’s leaving?_  
  
“Yeah, my vacation here is almost up. I need to be back in America in two days.” Nino relayed nonchalant.  
  
_You're leaving again._  
  
“Oh, but-,“ Aiba piped, but Sho instantly cut him off knowing what Aiba was about to say.  
  
“I’m sure we can do it next time, Aiba-san.” Sho forced a smiled. Aiba blinked back at him in confusion, and Sho really wished Aiba would get his hint. Maybe Aiba did get it since the other man stayed silent.  
  
“Oh, the two of you will join them then?” Juri presumed.  
  
“Ah, no… there will be no one to take care of Shojiro.” Sho declined, looking at Shojiro who was still in Aiba’s arms.  
  
“I can watch over Shojiro if you let him sleep at our house, Sakurai-san. The more the merrier right? Plus it a grand reunion! It seems it's been ages since you guys met up. You can’t just let it pass.” Juri proposed happily.  
  
“Uhm…” Sho was reluctant.He looked at his child, weighing things.  
  
“I get to sleep at Juri-sensei’s house and have her cook me pasta?” Shojiro asked, blinking his round eyes back at Sho.  
  
“Well, that’s if papa agrees Shojiro-kun.” Juri cooed at Shojiro.  
  
“Come on, Sho-chan. For old times’ sake?” Nino decided to jump in, and Sho couldn’t say no.  
  
“I guess it couldn’t be help.” Sho agreed nervously. Sho asked himself, ‘ _what did I put myself into?’_  
  
  
  
  
  
"Cheers!"  
  
Everyone said and clunk their glasses of beersbefore drinking.  
  
"AH!” Aiba bellowed in satisfaction. He put down his glassto the table with a thug, causing some of its contents to spill over the surface.  “This is bad! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” Aiba panicked. Thankfully, the damage wasn’t that big, but it was still funny seeing Aiba flustered because of his own clumsiness.  
  
“It's really good to drink beers with lots of people around ne?" Aiba said, grinning like a maniac.Sho couldn't help but smirk behind his glass. Nino let out a chuckle. Jun and Ohno shared small smiles.  
  
They were in a bar in the heart of Tokyo, having their so called _grand reunion slash send-off party_. It wasn’t that bad as Sho initially imagined. He thought it might be awkward especially between him and Nino. Surprisingly, _and thankfully_ , it wasn’t.  
  
They did catch up about what had been going on with their lives. Sho thought that mentioning his divorce with Yuka would create a tension. Maybe it did a little. Or maybe it was just Sho's over thinking mind. Fortunately, the night unfolded smoothly as beers and conversations flowed smoothly.  
  
Over that night, Sho had learned that Nino had a job in America after he graduated, making music for games. He could only come to Japan for two to four times a year for a break. Nino didn’t mention it, but Sho could tell Nino was dating Ohno. Sho could see it how the two looked at each other's eyes, making him feel a twitch in his heart.  
  
There were feelings, of course. If Sho would be honest, he still had feelings for Nino. It was hard to let go of _your first love_ after all.  
  
  
  
  
  
_After their meeting at the music room, it doesn't stop. Suddenly, it becomes Sho's routine to come there before going home. It seems Nino spends mostly of his free time there, and so Sho meets the younger man to listen more. As he spends more time with Nino, Sho learns more about the younger man._  
  
_"I'm an orphan since 10 because my parents got into a plane crash.” Nino shares, but Sho doesn’t see misery, and Sho ponders why._  
  
_“I just live day by day thinking I’m living their lives too.” Nino smiles at him, proud and contented. “They aren’t here anymore, but that doesn’t mean they have left me right? At the end, you’re still alive, and you need to live it to the fullest.” Nino adds nonchalantly before playing another song._  
  
_Sho is in awe. He is even envious perhaps. Something is for sure though. He’s getting more and more interested with the man._  
  
  
  
_“Well, that’s kind of interesting.” Yuka comments one time when they are in the library. They are sitting side by side, working on their studies. Sho has said that he’ll be meeting again with Nino after this. Out of anyone, Yuka is the only one can talk freely without formalities or  whatsoever. He just can be himself._  
  
_"I'm happy for you Sho-kun. You're smiling more and more frequently."Yuka says, "Now I don't have to worry too much with your volcanic temper."_  
  
_"Oi, what's the meaning behind that?" Sho says in mock anger. The two of them laugh softly as possible. They are in still in the library, and even if they are sitting at the most secluded place, strict librariansare still around._  
  
_"On serious note, it seems you like this Nino-guy ne?” Yuka starts, wiggling her eyebrows. Sho rolls his eyes._  
  
_“That is really un-lady like of you.” Sho shoots. Yuka gasps mockingly, covering her mouth with her hand._  
  
_“And that’s rude of you, Sakurai-san.” Yuka fakes being offended. They end up laughing really hard this time. They only stop when they hear a warning hush from the librarian. The two snickers softly before they get back to their assignments and studies, afraid to be in the librarian’s graces._  
  
_“On a really serious note…” Yuka starts, smiling at Sho. “You like him, do you?” Yuka asks. Sho can’t help but blush. He nods, still looking at his papers.  Yuka’s smile widens. “I should really meet this man if he is able to get through you defenses so fast.” Yuka grins._  
  
_Sho looks up to Yuka, seeing her concentrating on her own assignment. He smiles fondly. Sometimes he still can’t believe that Yuka is the girl his parents want him to marry with in the future. To think just now, they are talking about his possible love life like they are just friends. Although they are, there’s still the possibility of marrying her in the future, yet Sho can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with her. Maybe yes but just as friends._  
  
_“Is something wrong with my face?” Yuka asks, catching Sho._  
  
_Sho shakes his head before taking a glance as his watch. He’s done for today so might as well make his way in the music room where Nino probably is._  
  
_“I just think it’s time for me to head there.” Sho says as packs up his things. When he is done, he says his goodbye._  
  
_“Say my regards to him even if I haven’t met him.” Yuka smiles._  
  
_“I will.” Sho answers. Before he walks away, Yuka adds another._  
  
_“And I meant it when I said I wanted to meet him. I needed to warn him about your temper and such before he is sorry.”_  
  
_“Hey~” Sho pouts, but still gives a wave as he goes._  
  
  
  
_From then on, it becomes him, Yuka, and Nino. Sometimes, Yuka’s cousin, Aiba, joins them too.  It's likely to happen. Nino is really easy to hang around with. Nino is witty and friendly despite the snarky remarks the shorter man says at given time.Sho calls Nino a brat for that and alsoif Nino acts spoiled, always asking to be treated with food. Sho doesn't actually mind. It's a perfect excuse to be able to spend more time with Nino to be honest. Sho doesn't say it, but he is smitten already with Nino's charm._  
  
_"You should tell him, you idiot!" Yuka exclaims, even to the point of whacking Sho's head._  
  
_"Ouch! That hurts!" Sho complains. Damn, even with Yuka's petite body, she can actually land hits._  
  
_"SSSSH!"_  
  
_Sho flinches. He looks at the direction of the librarian standing by the rows of shelves not far from where he and Yuka are sitting. He directs a bow, smiling apologetically before it turns to a glare once he looks again towards Yuka._  
  
_"That hurts." Sho repeats in a whisper, rubbing the sore spot that Yuka has caused. Yuka just smirks, not caring at all._  
  
_"That's for being an idiot." Yuka singsongs before turning again to the books she has been reading._  
  
_“I don’t know if the feelings are mutual.” Sho explains, but Yuka just gives him a scoff. Sho continues. His voice is sounding a little desperate. “I mean I just met him not long ago, and then I’ll just blurt out that I love him?”_  
  
_“You’re still an idiot.” Yuka deadpans._  
  
_"But..." Sho tries to defend but no words come out of his mouth. He only pouts._  
  
_"There you are!"_  
  
_Sho looks to his other side and finds Nino sitting in the empty chair beside him and fishing his game console afterwards. Through the weeks that they have been acquainted, if Nino isn't in the music room, the younger man always joins them in the library. The fact that Nino plays games in his console rather than studying amuses Sho the most. But enough of that now, Nino is here. Sho is worried he may have heard what they were talking about earlier._  
  
_Sho's eyes widen, making Nino to quirk an eyebrow._  
  
_"Yes, Sho-chan?" Nino asks, worried._  
  
_"Hi, Nino-kun." Yuka interjected. Sho doesn’t know whether to be thankful or to be annoyed at Yuka’s sudden interruption._  
  
_“It’s good you’re here. Sho-kun here has something to say to you.” Yuka says, clinging in Sho’s shoulders for emphasis from the back. Sho decides then that he is annoyed and he wants to murder the woman at his back._  
  
_“Oh really? What do you want to tell me, Sho-chan?” Nino asks, anticipating._  
  
_Sho blushes, opening his mouth to say something but can’t. He curses Yuka for putting him on a tight spot. Luckily, he takes a glance sideways, seeing his books that he needs to borrow for further research. He immediately gets it and stands in haste. “I’ll just borrow these.”_  
  
_Sho heads to the librarian's desk immediately. He sighs in relief after reaching itat the other side of the library where transactions of borrowing books can be made. He thinks he has gotten away with it. Yet when he is back in their table, he thinks otherwise. Nino and Yuka may be acting innocent, but their shared smirks tell him differently. Sho gulps._  
  
  
  
_After that day, their relationship starts on from that one bizarre confession. It’s a funny occurrence actually. As Sho thinks he is the one confessing, Nino has interjected him because apparently Yuka can’t keep her mouth shut. It takes Sho in a surprise, but at the same time it doesn’t. It’s Nino after all, and Sho knows he’ll always be in for surprises when he's with the younger man. (Well, Nino loves franks too after all.)_  
  
_They are the complete opposites. Nino likes to be indoors while he likes to be outdoors. (Yeah, it has taken him weeks and plenty of bribe to make Nino agree to come with him on a trip.) He plans anything till the last minute while Nino just go with the flow. (Sho actually has given their future child a name already.) Sho thinks music is the only thing that connects them. But when he looks at Nino, he forgets all about those doubts. They are like two opposite sides of the magnet, yet they are attracted to each other._ _Shohasneverfeltthishappyinhislife till now._  
  
_"I love you."Sho breathes one night as he holds Nino so close. He continuously pounds inside the shorter man, pouring every ounce of feelings and strength. Nino clings to him tighter, says his name again and again. When they reach their peaks, Sho repeats again."I love you."_  
  
_With thosethree words, Sho promises a future with him and Nino._  
  
_If people hears it, they will say it's too soon. Sho doesn't listen. It just feels right._  
  
  
  
  
  
_What happened to us then?_  
  
"You know, this two had it going. Like wreally~~~"Aiba said. Each word out of his mouth were getting slurry. "If I had known whedder, those two would whe the one marrying."  
  
Sho stayed silent, contemplating. He drank from his glass of beer again. He was thankful there was alcohol in his system already. It help removed the tension in his body every time they touched the topic about his and Nino's past.  
  
"Ah! That reminds me!Hic! You two used to play piano together! Hic! Neh~~~~~~"Aiba said between hiccups."There's a piano over there!" He pointed towards the stage in front. There was a white grand piano standing alone in the background. He started chanting, "Play! Play! Play!"  
  
"Aiba-san, you're drunk already. Let's stop this." Nino chuckled.  
  
Aiba had none of it. "Hey!it's been ages since I last heard the two of you play together, so I'm taking my chances." Aiba defended with a pout, making Nino laugh more.  
  
"Play! Play! Play!" Aiba continued chanting. Even those who were sitting in the tables nearby joined Aiba's chants.  
  
Sho smiled wryly, observing Nino through the corner of his eyes. Nino was grinning, whispering something to Ohno's ear. Ohno nodded, urging Nino to play. Everyone's persuasion did paid off after a few minutes.  
  
"Well, I'm fine with it as long as Sho-chan doesn't mind." Nino said, looking directly at Sho.  
  
“Uhm, I don’t know if I can still play. It’s been long.” Sho tried to excuse, making Aiba to boo.  
  
“I doubt it. I can say you love music more than your soccer ball.” Nino said knowingly.  
  
Sho finished his glass before meeting again Nino's eyes. "How could I say no?" He agreed.  
  
  
Aiba cheered together with those people around. Sho followed Nino towards the stage, ignoring the claps and cheers directed at them. He sat beside the shorter man in front of the piano, watching how Nino touched the keys gently. When Nino looked up to him, Sho started at those same brown orbs that had mesmerized him before.  
  
_“What do you want to play, Sho-chan?”_  
  
Sho flinched. Nostalgia hit him hard. The memories of those days when Nino would ask him in their nightly play-offs flooded his mind. Those were the days when Sho thought _it was him and Nino against the world_.  
  
And like before, Sho had the same answer, _“Whatever you want, Kazu…”_  
  
Nino smiled at Sho before pressing a key. A note was produced. Then another followed and melody just continued to flow. Sho was astonished after hearing how familiar those notes were.  
  
As Nino continued playing, Sho observed how Nino immersed himself in the music. Sho saw the grace in Nino’s fingers as he played. Sho then remembered how stunning it was to look at the sight of Nino playing.  
  
Sho took a deep breath while closing his eyes. His heart thumped in excitement. Naturally, he followed Nino’s lead. He pressed the keys in front of him, and the melody poured out smoothly. He felt soaring. It felt like he was flying towards the moon once again.  
  
  
  
_“What the title of that, Kazu?” Sho asks after Nino stops playing his recent composition. Nino lays his head against Sho’s sloppy shoulders._  
  
_Nino shrugs. “I honestly don’t have a title for it yet.” He murmurs._  
  
_Sho glances at the moon shining on them through the glass windows of the music room in their campus. It’s late already, but they don’t feel like going home yet._  
  
_“To the moon.” Sho suggests._  
  
_Nino sits up right and looks at Sho puzzlingly. “To the moon?” He repeats._  
  
_Sho looks back at Nino, still smiling. He shrugs, “It just feels like it when I listened to it.”_  
  
_“Please don’t give me that ‘I love you to the moon and back’ bullshit.” Nino chuckles, shaking his head as he looks back away._  
  
_“No…” Sho says. He reaches out to Nino’s chin before turning Nino’s head to face him back. “Just I love you…” He says before sealing with a chaste kiss._  
  
_“Teach me?” Sho asks._  
  
_Nino doesn’t reply anything. He just starts playing, and Sho just follows. From then on, it becomes their duet._  
  
  
  
Sho opened his eyes. His ears were buzzing from thunders of applause and cheers (especially Aiba’s). He looked to his side and saw Nino looking back at him with a smile. It was only momentarily because Nino’s eyes shifted towards their table, particularly towards someone who was silently clapping with a proud smile.  
  
Nino’s eyes were gleaming. It wasn’t the same shine when they were dating back then.  
  
Sho knew it. Nino would always be a part of his life. That would never change. The only thing that change was Nino wasn’t his anymore. It had been like that since the moment he said goodbye six years ago. There was a pang in his heart, but it wasn’t that painful as before.  
  
Sho’s gazed turned back to their table. That time, his eyes landed at Jun who was drinking from his glass. There was a genuine smile on his face, knowing to whom he really belong.  
  
Too bad, Sho was a second too early to look away and stare back at Nino, who was staring back at him in glee. He didn’t get to see the sad and longing eyes directed at him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was after midnight when they called the party off. Aiba had too much drink already. The tall man was in verge of passing out already. Luckily, Jun and Sho was assisting him since Sho’s house was near Aiba’s apartment. Ohno and Nino decided to just walk towards Ohno’s apartment since it was just a few blocks away from the bar.  
  
After hailing a cab and saying goodbye to Ohno and Nino, who were going to the opposite direction, Jun and Sho got Aiba to sit in the back seat. Jun went to sit in the passenger’s seat afterwards. Sho was about to enter the car and sit beside Aiba when Nino called him. He turned around to see Nino approaching him.  
  
“I still call it ‘To the Moon’, you know?” Nino said. “It’s lame honestly, but it fits.” Nino added before shrugging his shoulders. He gave Sho his two-fingers salute before going back to Ohno, who was waiting.  
  
Sho didn’t say anything more. It felt he didn’t need to.  
  
  
  
The ride home was silent sans the low hum of the radio in the cab when it dawned to him how silent Jun had been all throughout the night. If Sho was honest, he had neglected Jun, and he felt guilty all of a sudden. He was so concentrated at Nino that he had forgotten Jun’s existence.  
  
Sho watched Jun from the back. The younger man was looking outside through the window, expressionless and stiff. Sho wanted to break that silence, but he couldn’t form words. Even when they dropped Aiba off in the tall man’s apartment, no one said a word except goodbyes directed at Aiba. Perhaps Jun was mad. Technically, Sho ignored Jun’s reminder to take it easy.  
  
That was why it was a surprise for Sho when Jun’s lips were on his the moment his house’s door was closed. The kiss was hot and intense. From where did Jun got the sudden vigor, Sho had no idea. It could be due to the alcohol intake judging with the smell of Jun’s breath. Not that Sho minded. He too had a couple of glass. He did tone it down to seven or eight glasses. He just recovered from sickness, and the quantity was already giving him a larger effect than he anticipated.  
  
Nevertheless, Sho answered Jun's kisses fervently. It had been too long since he felt Jun this close to him, and the close proximity sent a jolt down to his groin.  
  
Sho moaned as he was backed against the wall in the genkan. Jun's hand was flat on the wall beside his head. The other one was roaming in his body as their lips continuously connected in passionate kisses. There was certain feel of command in Jun's kisses, as if telling him that... _you're mine, only mine._  
  
"Bedroom...now." Sho managed to say between ragged breaths as Jun's lips attacked his neck next, marking him.  
  
Jun pulled away just far enough that their foreheads were against each other and they were breathing each other's breaths. Despite the dim light from the lamp shade in the living room Sho had left earlier, he could see that Jun's eyes darkened and were full of lust, yet at the same time, it had the gentle glow that Sho loved.  
  
Jun's eyes automatically closed as Sho caressed Jun's cheek.He rubbed it with his thumb softly as he looked at Jun with a smile.  
  
Jun pulled his hand away from the wall, putting it over Sho's hand in his cheeks. He nuzzled against it before bringing it to his lips. Jun opened his eyes and kissed Sho's palm before taking it. He lead them to Sho's bedroom after.  
  
Sho followed suit without words, thinking Jun would be the one to claim him. The excitement in him doubled. It was rare for Jun to take the reins from him after all, yet everything changed once Jun's back landed on the mattress instead as the younger man pulled him on top. Sho was dumbfounded, but the way Jun's eyes stared back at him, innocently blinking from time to time, told Sho a lot.  
  
Jun's eyes were still dark and full of lust, but unlike earlier, Jun's eyes showed hints akin to fear. Sho wondered what Jun was afraid, or it was rather to whom.  
  
Sho was saddened for the fact that he put Jun through all of this again. He gave Jun reason to doubt and to question everything about them. Sho closed his eyes, pecking Jun's forehead with affection as a form of his apology. His lips stayed for a couple of minutes, hoping his message got through Jun.  
  
_I'm not going to hurt you. No, not anymore._  
  
Sho made sure he would give his best to bring Jun pleasure and nothing more. The other man deserved such and nothing less.  
  
Sho dived in to capture Jun's lips in a languid kiss. They had the night to themselves, and Sho wanted to make every second count, making sure Jun would remember this moment between them. One by one, their clothes got discarded. Sho kissed every patch of skin he could reach as Jun arched forward, panting his name like a mantra.  
  
Sho caressed Jun's thighs when he faced Jun's cock. He looked back towards Jun, who had been looking back at him while biting lips. He engulfed Jun wholly till his lips reach Jun's base.  
  
"Ah, Sho-san!" Jun gasped, and Sho's cock hardened at the sight of Jun, flushed and sweaty on his bed. Sho bobbed his head up and down, lapping and blowing the head, and twirling his tongue over Jun’s head. Jun bucked his hips upwards, and Sho needed to hold Jun's hips to keep the younger man in place.  
  
"Sho...Sho...So…so close."Jun panted with Sho’s continued ministrations, and Sho couldn't help but be happy how he was able to make the Stoic Jun thrash under him.  
  
"Sho..."Jun moaned as a warning, but Sho just sucked harder untilJun stiffened and released inside Sho's mouth.  
  
Sho took as much as he could, sucking Jun clean. When he looked at Jun, the younger man had his eyes close, panting heavily while feeling the effect of post-orgasm. Jun’s body was flushed and still hot. As Jun’s eyes opened, their eyes met. Sho moved upwards trailing Jun's body with his tongue without breaking eye contact. When he reached Jun's lips, he kissed it fully. Their mouths were dancing in an unknown rhythm.  
  
Sho could feel Jun reaching for his hardened cock, but Sho grabbed Jun's hand and pinned it beside Jun's head. After breaking from their kiss to breathe, he rested his head against Jun's shoulder and whispered, "Don't..." He breathed. "Let's just stay like this." He pleaded.  
  
Sho felt Jun's lips against his temple for a kiss, sensed Jun's hand against his back, and Jun's hand, which was in his grasp, was pulled away only to be intertwined with his. They stayed liked that for few minutes, basking in each other's warmth.  
  
When Jun gently reversed their positions, Sho didn't protest anymore. Sho didn't know whether it was due to fatigue or those seven bottles he had drank, but Sho was feeling hazy already. Yet he was aroused at the sensual sight of Jun.  
  
Sho watched as Jun prepared himself with one finger coated with lube. Next were two fingers, and then three fingers disappearing in his hole. Sho's cock was already leaking of pre-cum when Jun coated it with lube. When Jun finally impaled himself with it, both men groaned.  
  
Their breaths were heavy. Jun's cock was half-hard again, and his face showed the mixture of pain and pleasure.  
  
Sho held Jun's hands that were on his chest as Jun started bouncing up and down. Details were blurry for Sho already. It was like his body was moving on its own, yet he could feel everything about Jun. He felt how the younger man would tighten around him, how Jun would moan his name, or how Jun bounced sexily on top of him. Jun was the only one clear in his hazy sensations.  
  
At some point, it was Sho who was on top of Jun, ramming franticly inside Jun. He held Jun closer as possible,trying to reach their releases.  
  
"Jun... Jun..." Sho panted, snapping his hips forward faster and harder. Jun met his trust with the same intensity. Knowing he couldn't hold longer, he pumped Jun's cock to bring Jun closer to the edge once again. After a few more thrusts, he released inside of Jun. The younger man followed, releasing between them.  
  
Sho fell on the side of the bed, mindful not to crush Jun.They were catching their breaths when Jun turned to face him. Sho couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, but still he could see how beautiful Jun was especially with that smile.  
  
"You're so beautiful..." Sho managed to rasp out despite his foggy mind. He blinked his eyes several times, trying to stay awake. Consciousness was slipping away from him as each second ticked by.  
  
Nonetheless, Jun's presence beside him was so comforting. But Sho knew that everything between them was far from comfort yet. Before their relationship could flourish, Sho needed to clear his past. To do that, he needed to talk with _the man that played a big part in it_. After one more thought from him, Sho closed his eyes and succumbed to slumber.  
  
_"Nino..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those curious about the piano part, you can listen to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsAsJUTsYxs)


	9. Eight Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Same reminder: paragraphs written in past tense are happening in the present. Paragraphs written in (--- present tense---) are happening in the past. I’m still being ironic so yeah~_

Sho was woken up by the sound of someone throwing up. He had a dull headache welcoming him after abruptly sitting up, but Sho ignored it, opting to come straight towards the bathroom. There was the sound of flushing and then running water from the faucet.  
  
When Sho arrived by the bathroom's doorway, Jun was splashing water against his face, looking pale. Sho grew worried.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sho asked.  
  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Jun asked instead, looking back at Sho through the reflection on the mirror. There was a blush in Jun's cheeks, and that was when Sho noticed both of them were equally naked. There was the added fact that Sho was carrying a morning arousal. Sho didn't let it bother him. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked already. They were just conscious, and Sho would like to concentrate on the fact that Jun had throw up early in the morning. He shook his head nonchalantly as an answer.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sho repeated.  
  
Jun grimaced. "Just a worse-case of hangover I guess." He reasoned unsurely.  
  
"I'll just get water from the kitchen." Sho said in his still sleepy state. He didn't let Jun protest anymore and proceeded in doing what he said after at least putting on some boxers. Along the way, Sho had the coffee machine running, knowing how Jun loved coffees in the morning. He also got some medications seemingly that Jun needed one.  
  
When Sho was back in the bedroom with a glass of water, Jun was already dressed with his yesterday’s clothes, sitting in the edge of the bed. His hand was cradling his head. The other one was pressed in the stomach.  
  
“Here.”  
  
Jun looked up, directing a grateful smile towards Sho as the older man offered him the glass of water. “Thanks.” He mumbled before drinking from it. After finishing half of it, Sho took the glass and put it on the bedside drawer.  
  
Sho kneeled in front of Jun, reaching out to touchhis forehead. Thankfully, Jun’s temperature seems normal, but he’s alarmingly pale. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
  
“Yeah.This isn’t the first time I have a huge hangover.” Jun joked. He smiled, but it came weak. Sho settled his hands on the bed, at each other sides of Jun’s thighs.  
  
“I know I’m not a good cook though I’m still going to offer anyways.” Sho started with a smile. “You want anything in particular? I can probably cook eggs and toast without burning anything.” He continued, trying to enlighten the mood. He would definitely understand if Jun wasn’t up for it. He was a terrible cook.  
  
Jun had a genuine smile a moment, but it quickly disappeared when he straightened up. “Thanks for the offer, but I really need to go.” Jun said, looking at anything that wasn’t Sho.  
  
Sho could take the hint that Jun was avoiding his gaze for some reason. That left him quite disappointed. He wondered if Jun was still mad at him about yesterday.  He also wanted to spend more time with Jun. But when he chanced a glance towards his alarm clock in the bedside table, he was reminded that he needed to get ready for work. Same went for Jun too.  
  
“I can take you home at least. I’ll just change into decent clothes in a jiffy.” Sho presented. He was still worried about Jun’s condition after all.  
  
“Don’t worry, I can manage.” Jun shook his head, trying to assure Sho that he was fine.  
  
Sho nodded, giving in. "Stubborn as always." Sho teased, still trying to lift the atmosphere even for a bit. He did made Jun chuckle even for a moment, and  Sho was okay with that. The younger man stood up, and Sho followed, grabbing a shirt along the way and wore it.  
  
The two men were silent as they walked. Sho chose to walk a bit behind just so he could observed Jun properly. At least, he could react properly if Jun suddenly fainted.Sho couldn't also removed the feeling something was up. For some reason, there was a hanging tension in the air.  
  
“Hey, Jun…” Sho called when they reached the genkan. Jun crouched down to wore his shoes. He hummed to let Sho know that he was listening.  
  
Sho contemplated whether he should ask Jun if he was mad or something. He wanted to ask Jun if... At the end, he just shook his head and said, “Nothing, just take care.”  
  
It wasn't the right timing yet in Sho's opinion, but definitely it would be soon.  
  
After finishing wearing his shoes, Jun stood up and faced Sho. He said, “You too.”  
  
Sho nodded and watched Jun as the latter turned around to leave. Jun was about to open the door when he paused. Sho quirked an eyebrow.  
  
Sho couldn't say anything when he felt Jun's lips against his. Sho blinked, staring at Jun in astonish.  
  
“Goodbye, Sho-san.”Jun said it with a smile before leaving.  
  
Sho's heart thumped rapidly, but he didn't know whether he should be happy or sad. There was just something in the way Jun smiled at him.  
  


 

  
  
At work, Sho couldn’t keep his concentration on whatever he was doing. He kept glancing at his phone every five minutes. After much deliberation in his mind, he got his phone and browsed through his contacts. When he reached a particular name, he thumbed over the call button. He had second thoughts suddenly.  
  
“Should I call Jun?” Sho murmured to himself. He was still extremely worried about the younger man, remembering how sick Jun looked like. It wasn’t just that. Their last conversation left a big impression at Sho.  
  
And then Sho saw the name next to Jun. Sho's eyes widened. He almost forgot about his plan of talking with Nino. _(Thankfully, he got Nino’s number since Aiba used his phone to confirm the location of the small party.)_  
  
Sho bit his lips and pressed the call button. It took three rings before the man answered.  
  
"Hello."  
  
Sho exhaled before answering, "Hey, it's me."  
  
"Sho-kun?"  
  
"Yeah... Uhm..." Sho paused, thinking what to say, but then it was better to be straighforward right? Sho knew their talk was long overdue."I need to talk to you."  
  
Nino was silent in the other line, but Sho could hear Nino's calm breathing. Sho took it as a good sign.  
  
"If you treat me with hamburgers for lunch then how can I refuse?"Nino said.  
  
Sho could imagine the playful smile Nino was donning. Hamburgers were his favorite after all.  
  
"At that place then?" Sho suggested, remembering the days Sho had taken Nino a certain placein their dates. Sho wasn't sure whether Nino still remembered it, but he did proclaim that it served the best burgers he had eaten in his entire time. Maybe Nino would still like it there.  
  
"Ah, now that's what I'm talking about. I'll meet you there at quarter to 12." Nino said, cheerful.  
  
"Sure." Sho said.  
  
"Later then." Nino hanged up after.  
  
Sho looked at his phone for a couple of minutes. He still couldn't believe it. But he felt light. It was like a burden was lifted up, slowly but surely. This was definitely a new start.  
  
When lunch came, he took a cab towardsa small family restaurant near the dormitory where he stayed while in college. As he entered the place, the owner showed recognition. Sho acknowledged it with a bow, and before he knew it, he was engaged to a conversation while waiting for Nino. The conversation was cut short when customers started filling in, and the owner excused his self to help in serving. Nino arrived by then and greeted the owner. Judging with the way the two were interacting, Sho could tell that Nino was still a regular here. The owner did mention Ohno. Yes, Sho could see this restaurant still served the best hamburgers in Nino’s whole life.  
  
"Sorry if I called you suddenly." Sho said as Nino sat opposite him.  
  
Nino shook his head and replied, "Nah, it's fine. I needed to get away from packing or I'll go crazy. Plus it's your treat so how can I refuse."  
  
Sho had a heartfelt laugh before commenting, “You’re still stingy as ever.”  
  
“Well, that’s me after all.” Nino shrugged smugly.  
  
Their orders were taken by then when the waiter came. While waitingfor their food to arrived, they talked about a lot of things. It was likepart two of their catching-up conversation from last night, and it continued on as they munch on their meals.Sho was glad mentioning Yuka or Shijoro wasn't awkward as it was before. To think this time, it was just him and Nino who were talking. There were no distractions and no medium just in case things get out of hand.  
  
"I can't believe they cut my eight weeks vacationshort. Can't they make music without me around." Nino huffed  as he stabbed his burger patty with his fork.  
  
"Well,that's work. And you know how uptight it can be." Sho commented, taking a spoonful of his meal into his mouth.  
  
"Well, your workseems so. Look at those wrinkles in your face."Nino teased, pointing his fork at Sho's face.  
  
"Hey, being a stock analyst has it perks." Sho defended, adding, "I don't mind analyzingfigures and numbers."  
  
"Well, what can I say? I hate those anyways." Nino shrugged, taking another bite of his patty.  
  
"But you love counting and saving money, and those are included in what I do."Sho teased.  
  
Nino thought for awhile, and then shrugged. "Well, that's different kind of figures and numbers."Nino grinned, and Sho chuckled.  
  
It was really a comfortable atmosphere between them. It was as if things didn't go awry, and they never had to look back to the years of pain and separation, to lies and regrets. Yet those were the things they needed to clear up at the moment. And no matter how everything seemed fine so far, Sho needed to start the inevitable.  
  
"Uhm... Kazu..." Sho broke the silence that befall them.It got Nino's attention, and Sho couldn't look straight. Sho proven that everything he thought to do was easier said than done. "Before... I-... Back then..."  
  
"Let's stop this Sho-chan." Nino interjected with a gentle smile.  
  
"But I.. The thing I did to you back then..." Sho wanted to continue, to explain things, but then that would be just another strings of excuses, and Sho didn't want to give that anymore. All in all, Sho had only one thing to say, "I'm sorry."

 

**_(---_ ** _Their relationship is perfect in Sho's opinion. Of course like any couple, they have their own fights, but that doesn't long. Each one is courageous enough to admit his mistakes and ask for forgiveness.Both of them tries to make this work because it felt they only have each other. Yet there comes a time things aren't just perfect as it seems._  
  
_"I told you dad, I won't marry Yuka! She's my friend, and nothing more." Sho counters his father as they take the matter in the study room. Sho is in his last year, and his parents keep on pushing him to marry his friend, the daughter of their family's partner in business._  
  
_Sho's father is silent, and Sho feels cold sweat trailing his neck. Like him, his father has a short fused, yet Sho's downright refusal is received in silence. Sho expected things are going out of hand. And like he has predicted, everything turns for the worst._  
  
_"Is this because of your boyfriend?"Sho's father says in a menacing tone._  
  
_Sho's eyes widen in realization. "How-," he stammers._  
  
_"We warned you before Sho... We don't want you attaching yourself with that orphan..."The Sakurai head continues with disgust, "To think he was the son of thattreachourous swindler."_  
  
_"But father, Kazu's nothing like him..." Sho tries to defend his boyfriend. No, Nino isn't like that swindler. Ninois a good man._  
  
_With determination, he decides, "I will stay with Nino whether you like it or not."_  
  
_Sho's father stops signing papers. He puts the pen down and look straight at Sho's eyes._  
  
_"You do know I hold shares in your university?" Sho's father asks. Sho becomes nervous. Of course he knows that. Why is his father bringing that up._  
  
_"I have a say who receives full scholarship, and who can't..." Sho's father continues when Sho doesn't reply."I can even revoke it from students who I deem not worthy."_  
  
_"What-?" Sho asks, but stops himself when he realizes what his father is implying."You wouldn't even-,"Sho gasps._  
  
_The scholarship is the only thing that Nino prides on. He has earned with diligence and hardwork. Loosing it will surely crushNino's dreams, Nino's heart... Sho can't have that especially now that Nino is so close in achieving his dream._  
  
_Sho's father leans back in his swivel chair, not breaking eye contact with Sho's round ones. He says his verdict, "You have a choice, Sho. Choose wisely or the consequences may be fatal with your 'friend'... Remember that..."_  
  
_Sho doesn't answer instead._  
  
_The following day, Sho hasn't slept a wink. Everything in his head is unclear, and he doesn't know what to do._  
  
_Nino isn’t one to be oblivious if things aren’t okay. He asks, “Is something wrong, Sho?”_  
  
_Sho looks to his side where Nino is sitting. They are behind the keys again, but this time they are in the auditorium. Nino is practicing his piece for arecital later, and Sho is there to listen. It helps in calming down his hammering heart._  
  
_“I love you.” Sho murmurs instead, placing a kiss in Nino’s forehead. There is confusion in his face, but he doesn’t ask further. He just reply it with a kiss and a squeeze of hand before he plays again. This time it has a happier tune. Sho knows he is trying to lift Sho’s mood._  
  
_Sho is thankful with Nino’s understanding, but he is sad that he is keeping something important as this from Nino. Still, he keeps his silence about the matter. He doesn’t want to talk it yet with his lover. Not now when Nino is preoccupied with something important. When the bell ring, Sho wishes him good luck. He promises to himself he’ll talk it out with Nino later when they meet again._  
  
_It doesn’t go as planned. Sho is on his way to meet Nino when he hears his lover talking to someone. Sho recognizes that the voice is from Nino’s instructor. He stands still and hidden as he listens about the news of Nino’s new scholarship offer._  
  
_Sho is happy. Nino deserves it, and he knows it will give Nino a better future. Sadly, Sho knows he isn’t part of it._  
  
_That’s why he has decided to meet Yuka at the park as soon as possible. Sho has chosen, and that’s why he is freeing Nino from all of this. **\---)**_

  
Thinking back then, Sho had chosen a coward’s path. Things might have turn out to be okay that day, but in exchanged for that, everyone still got hurt no matter how much he wanted to avoid that.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Sho repeated. This time, he had his head low.  
  
There was a pregnant pause until Nino finally spoke. “I knew everything that happened, Sho…”  
  
Sho looked up in shock. He was surprised at what Nino just revealed.  
  
“How?”  
  
Nino, who was looking already outside when Sho looked up, shifted his gaze back at Sho. “Yuka told me.”  
  
“I had a vacation then. Even though there wasn’t a reason for me, I still came back after a year.” Nino continued. He laid his fork at the side of his plate and leaned back on his seat, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his trousers. “I guess that time, I knew our break up wasn’t really simple case.” Nino chuckled, trying to enliven the mood.  
  
“Yuka told you?”  
  
Nino nodded and explained, “You were still in Singapore that time, for your training after graduation. So I met up with Yuka.”  
  
“But she didn’t tell me.”  
  
“I asked her not to.” Nino said. “I don’t want to complicate things.”  
  
Sho shook his head in protest, saying, “Still, I was selfish. I still hurt you, and I-“  
  
“And so I am, Sho…” Nino cut in. “I was selfish too.”  
  
Nino sat straight and started playing with the sauce of his burger. “When I learned everything from her…” He started, and Sho listened.  
  
“I could have asked for you to come back to me, but I didn’t. Instead, I took that as an excuse to justify my decision of leaving you and pursuing my dream.” Nino admitted.  
  
Sho was about to protest again, but Nino shook his head. His eyes were pleading for Sho to let him continue, and Sho did.  
  
“I always thought it was you and me against the world, Sho. You were the first one who had seen me for who I am and not for the name I bore, or the family I had.” Nino confessed, “And for you, I was your adventure, your sense of freedom.”  
  
“But I loved you…” Sho said, slightly agitated.  
  
“I loved you too…” Nino replied calmly, reaching out to touch Sho’s hand in the table. Nino’s smile somehow calmed Sho down.  
  
“But we were young back then. We thought what we had was real love.” Nino said.  
  
“Was it not?” Sho asked.  
  
“Maybe yes… maybe not.” Nino shrugged, “Still it wasn’t enough to prove that we were meant to be.” Nino said, squeezing Sho’s hand under his.  
  
“That’s why let’s stop this, Sho.” Nino continued. “We have made mistakes in the past, and we have learned from it. We have moved on. We’re here now, aren’t we?”  
  
Sho looked at Nino’s hand above his. That hand under Nino’s was the same hand where he wore his wedding ring before. Maybe that was the reason that even though he was already divorced with Yuka, he still kept on wearing it. That ring was a reminder of what he had done in the past, and the reason why he was afraid to give his everything to Jun.  
  
Maybe it wasn’t just closure that he needed. He needed forgiveness not just from Nino, but from himself too.  
  
Sho hadn’t been wearing the ring for some time now. It was hidden and probably forgotten already. When Nino pulled his hand back, it seemed that the invisible traces of the ring were finally erased.  
  
That day, he felt the burden in his heart had been finally lifted. Everything was clear now. _He finally felt free._  
  
That was why when they were outside the restaurant, Sho stopped his tracks and called Nino, who was walking towards the opposite direction.  
  
"Did you hate me when I didn't fight for you before?" Sho asked before it was too late. The other man paused and then turned to look back at him. The other looked up, thinking intently before looking back at Sho and shaking his head, "Maybe at first... But then you made me realize that something that is perfect isn't real happiness, and so instead, I'm thankful."  
  
Sho smiled, grateful of the honesty in Nino's words. He walked closer towards Nino and grabbed the younger man, enclosing Nino into a hug.  
  
"Thank you, Kazu." Sho said. Nino chuckled, but he hugged Sho back.  
  
"Come on, let's really stop this, Sho-chan. We're attracting too much audience for our drama." Nino joked, and Sho let go with a grin. He did notice some people who were passing by gave them stares. None of it matters though. He was just happy.  
  
"When will you come back then?" Sho asked.  
  
Nino thought for awhile, counting the months with his fingers. "Probably after half a year." Nino concluded, and then added, "I'll be back for good then."  
  
Sho nodded, "You better give me a call. I still needed someone to give me piano lessons."  
  
"I'll think about it." Nino shrugged playfully.  
  
Sho laughed. He was about to say goodbye since he extended his lunch too much when Nino's phone rang. The shorter man answered it, and Sho felt it was rude to just leave the guy alone after everything between them was finally clear.  
  
"Hello?" Nino answered the phone. With the way Nino smiled, fond and bright, Sho didn't need to hear from the other man that it was Ohno who called. Sho grew weary though when Nino's smile changed into a frown.  
  
"Which hospital?... Yeah, Sho's with me now. I'll bring him along." Nino said, making Sho confused. He didn't ask and just waited for Nino to end the call.  
  
"We got to go to the hospital first." Nino said to Sho as soon as he hang up. Sho was about to ask why and who was in the hospital, but words were stuck once Nino filled Sho the important detail."Jun fainted at work."  
  
Sho didn't need to ask more anything and hailed a cab immediately. After finding a ride and settling inside the cab,Nino instructed the driver about their destination.  
  
Sho was silent. He was worried about Jun. He did saw that Jun wasn't looking good when the younger man left his house earlier. How Sho wished he had tried his best to persuadeJun in bringing the younger man home. Maybe he was able to look after Jun and even bring the man to the hospital himself.  
  
As the second ticked by, Sho was restless, shifting in his seat from time to time. A part of him was annoyed that he didn't bring his car to work. Maybe then he could have done something to avoid being caught in the traffic. Another part of him was glad that he did the opposite. Sho knew that if he was this tensed, it would take a lot of luck to bring himself at the hospital in one piece.If Nino wasn't there, he might have lashed his temper at the driver.  
  
"Hey, everything's gonna be fine." Nino said, placing a hand at Sho's shoulder.  
  
Sho smiled at the other, nodding hishead. He tried to calm himself, shaking off the feeling of both nervousness and tension.  
  
Sho knew in himself, it wasn't just Jun being in the hospital that made him like this. _It was the man himself._  
  
Once they arrived at the hospital, Sho sprinted to the information booth to get Jun's room number. After getting it, he walked towards the direction the Nurse told him with Nino in tow.  
  
They were three rooms away from where Jun'sroom was supposed to be when a doctor came outfrom it with Ohno following. Sho stopped and saw the doctor shaking Ohno's hand gleefully as if congratulating Ohno. It made Sho confused. When the doctor walked towards the opposite side, Nino was the one who approached Ohno first. Sho followed.  
  
"Satoshi..."  
  
"Kazu…" Ohno said, grabbing Nino's hand that reached out to him. He pulled Nino closer, before placing a hand at the back ofNino's head and kissed the younger man in the forehead.  
  
Sho felt it was awkward at first, but when he thought about it, seeing Nino mushy with his current boyfriend didn't bother him anymore. Maybe the public display of attention did quite embarrassed him. He felt as if he was invading a private moment of the couple.  
  
"Sakurai-kun…"Ohno greeted, and Sho gave a brief nod as an answer.  
  
"Jun-kun, just regained consciousness." Ohno relayed before opening the door.  
  
Sho stood frozen there at the moment.Although it was a relief that Jun was finally awake, Sho was honestly hoping Jun was still unconscious when he arrived. Maybe it would be easier that way for both of them.  
  
"What are you waiting there, Sho-chan?"  
  
Sho was pulled out of his momentarily train of thoughts, finding Ohno was gone inside already, and Nino was about to enter as well. He didn't have enough time to protest as Nino grabbed his hand, pulling him to enter the room.  
  
Jun's widened eyes were the first thingSho was able to register. There was a sudden change in the way Jun's eyes looked at him, but it was gone before Sho pinpointed what it was.  
  
"I brought Sho-kun with me." Nino announced before letting go of Sho's hand to go nearer the bed where Jun was lying.  
  
Sho didn't know whether to come closer or not, but when Nino and Jun were looking at him expectantly, he also walked closer.  
  
“Hey, how were you feeling?” Sho asked after standing beside the bed. Nino had already moved beside Ohno, who was standing by the window.  
  
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Jun replied with a smile. Sho felt that smile was forced. “It was just fatigue.” Jun explained further.  
  
That moment, Sho chanced a glance Ohno's direction. It was just for a moment, but he was sure he saw a questioning look from Ohno directed after hearing Jun's reply.Sho chose not to be bothered by it, believing it was just his overthinking mind.  
  
The important thing was Jun was fine.  
  
_"Are we fine too?"_ Sho wanted to ask that when it was just him with Jun left. Nino and Ohno excused themselves since Nino needed to finish packing for his early flight tomorrow.  
  
After the couple left, Sho felt again the hanging tension between them from earlier was more apparent than before. He was itching to ask Jun about it, but he was afraid it was just in his mind.  
  
"Do you have someone to pick you up once you are discharge?" Sho asked, just for the lack of topic to talk about.  
  
"Maybe, Onee-san will pick me up." Jun said, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"I can pick you up if you want. I don't have anything big to deal with in the company so I can still be excused." Sho suggested, but he was nervous. It felt like Jun would still decline the offer, and Jun did.  
  
"Thanks, Sho-san. But I can manage." Jun said finally looking Sho.  
  
Sho flinched internally. Jun's eyes were looking straight at him, pleading about something he couldn’t tell. Was Jun asking for him to leave?  
  
“Jun, I…-“ Sho didn’t continue. He didn’t know which words to say. There were a lot of things they needed to talk, but Sho couldn’t bring it out. It seemed Jun didn’t want to. Maybe he too needed to think things first before he came clean to the man in front of him.  
  
“I’ll be going then.” Sho announced.  
  
Jun nodded, still not looking at Sho. With a heavy feeling in his chest, Sho stood up. Seeing Jun fine was enough for him anyways. It was hard not to reach out and touch Jun though, to prove that they were okay. Yet Sho knew Jun needed space. And all he could manage to say was… “Take care of yourself.”  
  
When he was about to turn around, he felt a hand grabbed him. He looked back to the only other man occupying the room. Sho was brought back to that one time when they were in a hotel more or less eight weeks ago, and Jun stopped him from going.  
  
_Today was different._  
  
“Thank you, Sho-san.” Jun said with glassy eyes. “…for everything.”  
  
Sho didn’t know what to feel. A lot of things were mixing up with his mind and heart. Was he reading it right? Or was he assuming too much?  
  
_Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _As you can see, I’m connecting chapter 8 with a lot of things from the previous chapters. We’re down to 2 chapters till this series ends after all, and that meant I'm wrapping things up. Also, there are hints and bit coming already ne? Now we have the explanation why Sho still wore the wedding at the early stage of the novel. This chapter is still shaky. Thanks to Via and Hikaru, they managed to enlighten me on how to execute this. (I'm crossing my fingers that this will be approved by those two). Still, I might come back and re-write or add stuff at some parts, but maybe I’ll do that after I finished the whole series. If you are confused of something, just tell me and I’ll gladly indulged you with answers._
> 
> _So far, Chapter 9 will still be a mystery. There are just other people who’ll play a big part in Sho and Jun’s relationship. Who do you think those people are?_
> 
> _Till then, yoroshiku onegaishimasu._


	10. Nine Shots

**Nine Shots**

 

Sho looked at his phone for the umpteenth time. He was in his office, re-checking proposals and reports regarding stock changes.

 

Work had been good to him. It gave him no time to dwell on his thoughts. Caring for Shojiro was another distraction he needed. It kept him away from things. But when he found himself alone in his room, or work wasn't demanding as it seemed, Sho’s thoughts came back to that _one man_.

 

It didn’t help that he just read an article about a prestigious exhibit held bytalented photographers gathered from all around the world. It had pique Sho’s interest since he knew how important photography was for Jun _._ As he read the article, he was hoping the article would mention the names of the participants, and Jun might be one of them _(and Jun was a great photographer. There was no doubt about that)._ Maybe with that, he could come by to meet the youngerman there. _(Although it might came as an ambush in Sho’s opinion. Still it would be open to the public, so Sho had a reason.)_ With no luck, it only mentioned things about the venue being in Okinawa and how it will be different from last year.

 

Sho sighed. It had been five days or so, and Jun hadn't contacted him once. There wasn't a message or a call. He had the urged to take the initiative in contacting the other. Even just to see if Jun was okay. _(He did go to the hospital the day after Jun was confined, but when he got there, Jun was discharged already.)_ It was just that Sho was well aware that Jun wanted space. That he did gave, but for how long?

 

Sho’s alarm went off, alerting him that it was time to go and fetch Shojiro from the kindergarten. With a sigh, he grabbed the thingshe'd be taking home with him and placed it in his briefcase. He stood up and walked out of his office. His assistant bid him farewell. Sho nodded an acknowledgement and left his office. As he passed by, subordinates and colleagues had greeted him.

 

How long had it been since he started working there? Three? Four? Looking back, it had been one of those achievements Sho could call as his own. It felt really good.

 

Dling!

 

Sho was already walking out from the building and towards his car when he received a message. After reaching his car, he opened his phone. Sadly, the message wasn’t from Jun. Sho didn’t let it disappoint him further than he was already. Shojiro would be happy to hear the news after all.

 

_Sender: Arimura Yuka-chan_

_Subject: (None)_

_Message: Is 8 pm okay? I hope it isn’t too late for Shojiro._

 

Sho made a quick reply and got in his car, driving to the kindergarten. He was in time whenchildren started getting out of the school. He easily spotted Shojiro among them, talking animatedly with some of his classmates.

 

"Shojiro!" Sho shouted, and the kid looked up to him with twinkle in his eyes. The boy said goodbye to his friends and ran towards Sho, hugging Sho's legs instantly.

 

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" Shojiro chanted happily, making Sho chuckle.

 

"Hello there." Sho crouched down after Shojiro let him go. He got the boy's backpack and slung it in his shoulder. He pinched the boy's cheek lightly then asked, "How's your day?"

 

"I got three stars!" Shojiro chirped, showing Sho the three star stamps he got in the back of his tiny right hand. Sho grinned as he held the hand reaching out to him and examined it.

 

"Wow, that's great!" Sho said happily, kissing the boy's forehead."For that, you'll get a reward!"

 

Shojiro's eyes lit up at the mention of reward, biting his lower lip in excitement. "Ice cream?" Shojiro asked curiously. Sho pretended to think about it. He really didn’t need to think about it because Shojiro definitely deserved that. When Sho didn't reply quickly, Shojiro's brightened mood turned sour. Sho chuckled and kissed Shojiro's forehead again.

 

"Of course." Sho said, pinching his son’s nose that time. The boy cheered, and Sho was pleased with Shojiro’s reaction except that they still had to look out for Shojiro's health, so Sho added, "Only one cone okay?"

 

Shojiro eagerly nodded in agreement. Sho stood up and was about to walk towards the direction of his car when someone caught his sight.

 

_Juri-sensei._

 

Suddenly, Sho was torn between approaching the teacher, who was talking with some of the parents of her students, or not.  He had the same dilemma every time he chanced a glance towards the teacher while he was picking Shojiro up. She was the only lead Sho had to know about Jun’s whereabouts, even just to ask how the younger man was. Yet Sho couldn’t bring himself to move forward towards the teacher. It felt like he can only talk with her when it was about Shojiro.

 

Talking about Jun was a different matter, and Sho felt he didn’t have the right to.

 

“Papa?” Shojiro asked, seemingly confused why Sho halted his steps.

 

Sho shook his head with a small smile before mumbling a soft, “It’s nothing,” and headed to his car with Shojiro at hand. He didn’t saw that Juri had looked at their direction with a thoughtful look.

 

 

 

 

 

As Sho promised, he bought Shojiro a cone of rocky road ice cream after they ate their early dinner at a family restaurant where Shojiro loved. The boy requested to spend a few moments at the park nearby before going home. Of course, seeing that it wasn't a bad idea, Sho happily agreed. It was nice to be close to nature from time to time. It relaxed him in ways he couldn’t describe, and spending time with Shojiro like that was refreshing.

 

They were sitting side by side with Shojiro switching his tasks between licking his ice cream and telling stories. Sho was watching amusingly, wiping Shojiro’s mouth from time to time if the boy made a mess. It seemed the talk they had while eating dinner earlier wasn’t enough for Shojiro to tell his father how his day went. He kept narrating tales. From the moment he answered correctly to their recitation in his first subject, to the time he had a nap and dreamt of Anpanman in the afternoon, he told his father everything.

 

Sho listened attentively, smiling and grinning at every account Shojiro recalled. Sho was happy, yet Shojiro still saw something that he thought he had hidden well.

 

“Papa, are you happy?” Shojiro asked, astounding Sho.

 

“Of course, I am baby. Why you ask that?” Sho smiled, rubbing Shojiro’s cheek with a thumb to remove the crumb of cone in it.

 

“Papa is smiling, but it's not the same. I thought if I brought to you Nino an-chan, you’ll be happy and smile again like in the picture.” Shojiro revealed, his voice was barely a whisper.

 

“What picture?”

 

“The one in your bookshelf… Since I saw you with Nino an-chan, I thought if I brought Nino an-chan to Papa, you’ll smile and be happy like that again.” Shojiro said honestly.

 

Sho finally remembered the picture he had with Nino when they were still together. He did display it in his bookshelf when he was still living alone along with the family portrait he had with Yuka and Shojiro before. After Shojiro moved in, Sho removed and only left the family portrait since he didn’t want to drag his son to the shadows of his past. Guess, Shojiro saw it even before he got Shojiro’s custody. No wonder Shojiro was excited when the boy dragged Nino to meet him.

 

“But I am happy, Shojiro… You reunited me with a dear friend.” Sho smiled, and it came from the bottom of his heart. It was all thanks to Shojiro that he saw Nino again after all. Because of his son, he was able to clear his regrets about his past.

 

“Really?” Shojiro asked hopeful, and Sho nodded.

 

“Aren’t I smiling?” Sho asked, smiling from ear to ear.

 

“But it’s not the same.” Shojiro seemed not convinced.

 

“Smiles doesn’t have to be the same, baby. We smile and become happy for different reasons.” Sho explained, poking Shojiro’s belly to make Shojiro giggle. “See, that’s a smile of someone who’s ticklish.” He cited and softly tickles the boy until Shojiro complained that he might drop his ice cream cone. Sho urged the boy to finish eating it. Shojiro did with a toothy grin before leaning in Sho’s side. There was silence between the father and son as Shojiro ate the remainder of his sweet dessert. The air around them wasn’t tensed or anything. It was light and calm.

 

“Before I thought Papa’s smile in that picture was the best smile I saw from papa. But I think the smile papa has because of Jun an-chan is the best.” Shojiro suddenly revealed after finishing his cone, making Sho look at his son with keen interest.

 

"Oh yeah?"Sho hummed.

 

"Yeah, papa's smile is the best when it has to do with Jun an-chan. Papa really looks happy." Shojiro chirped and nodded eagerly to his own sentence. He paused afterwards, tilting his face first like he was thinking about something. Sho waited for Shojiro to speak out his thought, and Shojiro did after a moment, "Yeah! But I also love Papa's smile when it's because of me." Shojiro cheered, and Sho laughed, kissing the boy's hair in joy.

 

"Well, that’s because papa is happy he has Shojiro.  He loves Shojiro after all." Sho said, and the boy instantly hugged him.

 

Shojiro then asked hesitantly, "Do you love Jun an-chan like you love Mama?"

 

Sho blinked his eyes several times, speechless suddenly. Shojiro's question was too innocent, yet carried so much. Sho was taken back.“Papa smiles brighter if Papa is with Jun an-chan. Even brighter when Papa is with Mama.” Shojiro continued narrating his honest observation. And because of that, Sho chose to be honest too.

 

“Yes, Papa loves Jun an-chan.”

 

“Does that mean you don’t love Mama that’s why you don’t smile brightly in your pictures with Mama and the two of you are separated?” Shojiro continued to ask. Sho took a deep breath.  He knew sooner or later, he’d have this kind of talk with Shojiro.

 

“Shojiro, Mama and Papa might be separated, but that doesn’t mean Papa doesn’t love Mama. Papa loves her as Mama loves Papa. It may not be the same, but Papa and Mama is special to each other as Shojiro is special to them.” Sho patiently explained.

 

“Then Papa loves Jun an-chan more because you smile brighter.” Shojiro asked. His round eyes were looking at Sho innocently.

 

Sho smiled at his child, nodding his head before kissing the boy’s forehead.

 

“Then Papa would be really happy if Jun an-chan is here with us?”

 

Sho took a deep breath. He didn't want to make false hopes to his son, judging with how things turned between him and Jun. It was his fault, of course, and it seemed whatever the outcome would greatly affect Shojiro.

 

Sho bit his lower lip, careful on what words to say to the boy. Shojiro was still too young to understand, or maybe he underestimated his son.

 

"Yes, I’m happy if Jun an-chan is here…” Sho said with a bitter smile. “But papa doesn’t know if Jun an-chan will stay with papa.” Sho said, choosing to be honest to his son.

 

Shojiro pouted. His face scrunching up in deep thought. If that wasn't a serious conversation, Sho would probably squish Shojiro's cheeks, but it wasn't. Shojiro seemed to be earnest, and Sho wouldn't make it into a joke time.

 

"We don't have to say goodbye to Jun an-chan like we did to Mama, ne papa?” Shojiro asked timidly."I mean it's not really a goodbye with mama." Shojiro corrected instantly. "Jun an-chan will be back, and Papa will be happier again?" He asked hopeful, and Sho couldn't help but crack a smile. With the boy's own little words, Sho understood that Shojiro was giving his blessings.

 

Sadly, Sho couldn't say anything than, "I hope baby... I really hope so."

 

 

 

 

Thankfully, the talk earlier in the park didn't bring Shojiro's mood down. The boy had forgotten it probably after finding he was in for another surprise slash reward. He was ecstatic when Sho brought a laptop in his bedroom, and instead of their nightly bedtime stories, it was his mother's face that welcomed his eyes.

 

As the mother and son talked, Sho had a repeat of Shojiro's stories. Sho didn't mind. There was always a new thrill every time he heard his son sharing stories, no matter how many times he had heard it. Admittedly, Sho just really love seeing Shojiro having the time of his life.

 

It seemed that Shojiro had too much fun though. An hour later, the boy fell asleep in the middle of Sho and Yuka's discussion about Yuka's visit in a month. Both parents laughed softly at the sight. Through the video camera, Yuka watched as Sho tucked Shojiro on the bed before Sho asked her to stand by since he was transferring their talk at the next room. Silently as possible, Sho went to his study room beside Shojiro's room. There wasn't really anything to discuss except his reunion with Nino, so Sho went directly to touch the topic.

 

“I talked with Nino recently.”Sho started after settling behind his desk. In the screen, he could see that Yuka raised an eyebrow. It was her way of telling him she was listening, so he continued. “He told me that you told him about everything before…”

 

“That I did…”Yuka acknowledged with a nod.

 

Sho sighed and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“Well..." Yuka paused, "Would that make any difference?” she said in defense, tilting her head.

 

Sho grew silent, being thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head, "No, I guess not.”

 

Yuka let out a long sigh. She closed her eyes as her hand shot up to massage her forehead. She opened her eyes again to look straight at Sho and admitted, “Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you… Even if Nino told me not to tell you, you’d know I’d still tell you right?”

 

“I figured much.” Sho nodded in agreement.

 

“Guess that’s why we’re best friends. We're screwed up in many ways.” Yuka joked. Sho pretended to be horrified and showed disagreement about her statement.

 

“Talk about yourself.”

 

“Oi!” Yuka called, and Sho grinned. They both ended up laughing at their silly banter. There was silence next. It wasn’t really awkward or anything. It just that Sho didn’t know what exactly to say, what words to use to open up or anything. He was speechless.

 

It seemed Yuka got the reason behind Sho’s silence somehow, and it was her who started. “So what’s wrong? Everything is going fine now right?” Yuka tried. Sho nodded absentmindedly, but Yuka seemed unconvinced. She clarified. “I mean with you and Matsumoto-san?”

 

Sho still stayed silent. Of course, he knew Yuka knew much already without him saying anything about it _(and it was all thanks to Aiba)_. Still, things were still jumbled in his head, and he couldn't really say his real thoughts. He could only say a few words to summarize at least a thing."I think Jun and I aren’t meant to be."

 

"You're still the same as always, Sho-kun... Really~~~" Yuka interjected. She shook her in disbelief. That surprised Sho.

 

"What do you mean?"Sho raised an eyebrow, not getting how that was related to what he was just saying a few moments ago.

 

"Always over analyzing everything, but doesn't say anything." Yuka gave her explanation. Before Sho could say anything more, she continued, "Okay, you may have the best eloquence…” Yuka scoffed but as she said the next words, there was softness in her voice, “but you never really say what's really on your mind."

 

Sho did get it bit by bit, nodding to himself as he admitted, "I guess I'm afraid if I say anything, some people will get hurt."He looked away, towards the window and seeing far.

 

"Or rather, if you become honest to yourself, you're afraid you'll disappoint everyone." Yuka corrected, making Sho to look back towards the screen.

 

"I think I've done enough disappointments already." Sho grimaced.

 

Yuka was silent for awhile, thoughtful before saying anything. She heaved a sigh again before smiling, “Are you disappointed that Shojiro was born?"

 

"Of course not!"Sho protested in a snap. "Shojiro is the greatest blessing I have." Sho said proudly.

 

"Are you disappointed about falling in love with Matsumoto-san?" Yuka asked next.

 

"No! Never!" Sho shook his head frantically.

 

"Are you disappointed with your life?"

 

Sho opened his mouth and was about to say something, but he stopped himself. He thought about everything in his life. A smile graced his lips. Of course, there were sad moments. There were also happy times. He made decisions. Some were good, some were bad, but life wasn't all that bad. _No, it wasn't._ What he had and where he was at the moment was the fruit of walking on his own path. It was his and his alone.

 

"No." Sho answered, soft but firm.

 

Yuka smiled at the screen. "Then what's stopping you?"

 

Sho looked at Yuka, contemplating on things. Her words just hit the right buttons.

 

What he had now with Jun wasn't the same anymore as what he had with Nino before. Things were different then and now. What was happening recently hadn't anything to do anymore with his father and family. He mostly cut ties with them after he divorced Yuka before _(although he did keep contact with his younger siblings. Let's just say he wasn't in speaking terms with his parents)._ He even resigned from his father's company and work to the place where he wanted to work on his own accord. Sho was standing on his own from that day he walked out of his parents’ house.

 

Sure, Sho made a lot of mistakes along the way but like Nino said, " _We have made mistakes in the past, and we have learned from it. We have moved on. We’re here now, aren’t we?"_

 

Shojiro wasn't the problem either. If anything, Shojiro was actually open to the idea of his father with Jun.

 

_So, what's stopping me?_

 

"I think I hurt him enough already..." Sho sighed. "I mean I lied to him before. When he saw our wedding ring, rather than telling him that we were divorced, I told him-,"Sho paused, remembering that morning when Jun found the ring. "I let him believe we were still married." He corrected himself.

 

"You what?!" Yuka shouted from the screen, making Sho groan.

 

"Sssh, you'll wake Shojiro up." Sho hissed, unconsciously looking at the wall that divided his study room and Shojiro's room.

 

Realizing her mistake, Yuka covered her mouth. Fortunately, that wasn't enough to wake Shojiro up."Sorry." Yuka bit her lower lip.

 

There was another silence between them until Sho let out a big sigh. "I'm afraid Yuka."

 

Yuka chuckled, shaking her head. "When I think about it, it really wasn't that surprising you did what you told me...” Yuka acknowledged. Sho didn’t comment. Yuka really knew him more than he let on.

 

"Tell me Sho-kun? Why did you let Matsumoto-san believe that we were still married?" Yuka pressed gently."Why did you still wear that ring when it meant nothing?"

 

"I dunno, I just..." Sho paused, trying to collect his thoughts. He took a deep breath and confessed, “That ring reminded me of what I have done in the past."

 

Without much explanation, Yuka already got what Sho meant about _'the past'_ , so she asked, "But everything is okay now with you and Nino right?"

 

"Yeah, we're good." Sho assured his ex-wife. He rubbed his neck, smiling amusedly at how Yuka was acting like a love doctor of the sort as their conversation progressed.

 

"So it isn't really the actual problem now?"

 

"I'm just afraid." Sho let out.

 

"Then you're afraid of loving him?" Yuka tried to clarify to which Sho protested instantly.

 

"No! I love Jun. It's easy to fall in love with someone like Jun!" Sho exclaimed. Panic could be seen in his face.

 

"I could see that..."Yuka chimed.

 

Sho let out another breathe. He leaned back to his chair and closed his eyes. The image of Jun was clear in his mind like the man was standing in front of him at the moment. It triggered up emotions from the bottom of his heart, and it will explode if he didn't have Jun right beside him. Surely, that told him that he was madly and deeply in love with Jun. So what was he really afraid of then?

 

And then flashes of Jun's sad face, the sound of Jun’s cries when the younger man thought Sho was asleep during their night-outs before, and the image of Jun's pleading eyes looking back at him flooded his mind.

 

Sho opened his eyes, and even if Jun wasn't really in front of him, Sho could clearly imagine the look of the younger man having regrets in choosing him.

 

"I'm afraid I'm not good enough for him." Sho owned up, closing his eyes. Tears started flowing from his eyes.

 

Another silence unfolded once again. Sho took that time to wipe the tears in his eyes. He wasn’t bothered anymore breaking down in front of Yuka. She definitely had seen him in his worst before.

 

“Do you love him?” Yuka asked in the silence. Sho finally looked up and faced Yuka again.

 

“I love him with all my heart.” Sho replied without second thoughts.

 

“Wasn’t that enough?"

 

“No… Jun deserved better than someone like me.” Sho shook his head, fresh tears in his eyes. “Jun is perfect… He deserved someone perfect for him.” Sho pressed on.

 

“No one is perfect, Sho-kun.” Yuka said. She paused, thinking for awhile. “Literally I mean. Figuratively… maybe…” Yuka added, trying to add a little humor. She did succeed in making Sho smile even for a while."Perfect isn't what a person needs." Yuka finally said. "They only need a heart... After all, it can take you far."She added with a gentle smile.

 

Sho blinked several times, and then a genuine smile finally adorned his face. "Thank you, Yuka..."He said, feeling full of gratitude to his best friend. Words weren't enough to show how much he was thankful to his ex-wife. If he could hug Yuka right that moment, he could have squished her to death. Still, "Thank you for everything."

 

Yes, Sho would always be afraid that he wasn't good enough for Jun. Fear would always be there, but it came to those who have a heart. It meant that the person had still had room for growth, and _perfect couldn't_. Sho then remembered Nino’s words, _“_ _…something that is perfect isn't real happiness **."**_

 

Sho couldn’t give perfect to Jun. He could only give his love and everything else.

 

“You know, I might kiss you right now if you’re here.” Sho kidded as he wiped his remaining tears just to liven up the mood.

 

Yuka made a face, shaking her head. “No, thank you.” She clearly declined, waving off her hand. Sho laughed. There was a ringing in Yuka’s side that got her attention for a moment before returning it towards Sho again.

 

“I better get ready. I still have work later.” Yuka said, and Sho remembered it was morning there in Yuka’s time zone.

 

“Yeah. You take care, okay?” Sho said, and Yuka nodded. Before Sho could turn off their video chat, she called again.

 

“Sho?”

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Everything will be fine. Have a little more faith.” Yuka encouraged. Sho nodded at that, chuckling softly. Yuka bid him goodbye and turned off the video chat before signing out.

 

Sho let out a shaky breathe as leaned back to his chair once again. He felt tired after all of that, but at the same time, he felt relieved. It was like another burden was taken out from him. Of course, it didn't really solve the whole problem, but little by little it helped.

 

Sho closed his eyes for a moment, taking everything in fully. That was until he heard the doorbell of their house.

 

Ding! Dong!

 

Sho's eyes snapped open. He didn't move for a second until he heard the doorbell rang again. Swiftly, he moved out of the study. He checked first Shojiro's room along the way, making sure the boy was still asleep. Thankfully, the boy was a heavy-sleeper, so the doorbell's noise wasn't enough to wake Shojiro up.

 

Sho was climbing the stairs already when the doorbell rang again, and before the late visitor could ring the bell, Sho opened the door.

 

"Ohno-san?!"

 

Sho couldn’t hide his shock since he wasn’t expecting to see the other man standing in front of his doorstep, looking a bit haggard like Ohno had come there as soon as the man could.

 

"Sorry if I came here without warning and considerably, it was late. I took the last trip back here from Okinawa." Ohno said, smiling apologetically.

 

Sho tilted his head, terribly confused. More than that, how did Ohno knew his house?

 

As if Ohno could read his mind, the other man explained, "I came here before to deliver some work files for Jun when you were sick and he stayed to take care of you.”

 

“Oh.” Sho said for the lack of words to use. He noticed that Ohno was shivering, probably due to the chilly breeze the night had. Coming to his senses, Sho instantly ushered his visitor to come in and made him sit at the living room.

 

“Tea or Coffee?” Sho asked. Aside talking about manners, it seemed Ohno could really use some warm liquid in his system.

 

“Anything’s fine.” Ohno assured, and Sho excused his self to go and fetch a drink for Ohno even though he was still clueless as to why the other man came at their house at such a short notice. He brought two cups of coffee minutes later because Sho needed caffeine for himself as well.

 

As Sho laid out the tray with the cups and packs of creamer and sugar on the table, he noticed that a neat enveloped was also placed on top of it. Ohno probably brought it with, and it made Sho more curious than before.

 

“Thank you…” Ohno whispered before taking a cup and drunk from it.

 

Sho got his own cup and sipped from it, flinching at the bitter taste it had. That did the trick of fully waking his senses up once again. When he looked back towards Ohno again, the other man was looking back at him already.

 

There was that discomfort that Sho felt. Either it was because of Ohno coming there unannounced or the fact that the man sitting with him in the living room was Nino’s current boyfriend. After all, meet-ups of past and current boyfriends would always be awkward no matter how one handled it. There was also the way Ohno was looking at him. Sho couldn’t pinpoint if Ohno was sizing him up or something.  It wasn’t in a judgmental way honestly, but Sho felt nervous like Ohno was seeing him so deep.

 

“Uhm?” Sho broke the silence, but he didn’t exactly know what to say. He couldn’t just go and be casual like _‘so what brought you here?’_ , or be direct like, _‘why are you here?’_ , but Sho had a hunch that the reason Ohno was here had to do with either Nino or Jun. Or maybe it was with both.

 

“Have you heard about the photo exhibit happening in Okinawa starting tomorrow?” Ohno asked.

 

Sho raised an eyebrow. He wasn't exactly expecting Ohno to ask him that, still he answered, “Yeah, I read it was prestigious and only great and talented photographers from around the world were invited there.”

 

As that information was out from his mouth, Sho's mind began making connections. Sho did remember that Ohno was also a photographer and Jun’s business partner. With that Sho concluded that Jun might be in Okinawa at the moment.

 

“Is Jun-,” before Sho could continue, Ohno cut him again.

 

“The exhibit allows each invited photographers to display ten of their most wonderful shots. It can have different subjects, different techniques, or anything as long as those shots belong to the photographer." Ohno narrated.

 

Sho was puzzled why Ohno was saying those, but he didn't comment and let Ohno continue, "There is one photographer who has only one subject in all of his ten shots he will be displaying. At the last minute though, he chooses only one shot and disregards the rest.” Ohno continued with a small smile, getting the enveloped on top of the desk that Sho noticed before.

 

Sho was still confused about what Ohno was saying until the other man handed him the envelope. “These are the nine other shots.”

 

Reluctantly, Sho opened the envelope and was shock upon finding out the contents of it. Those printouts in his hand were all shots of him.

 

“Jun was the photographer and I’m his subject?” Sho asked, but it was actually more of a statement than a question as he examined each photo.

 

Sho looked up towards Ohno, asking for the other man’s confirmation. Ohno didn’t say anything, but a simple nod sufficed. He felt overwhelmed and incredibly confused. So what exactly was Ohno trying to say?

 

“Jun said they were all beautiful but something was missing.” Ohno further explained.

 

“Beautiful…?” Sho repeated absentmindedly.

 

Sho browsed through each photo again. This time he did it with wonder. There was a picture of him when half of his body was submerged in the sea. The sun was almost setting in the background. If Sho remembered right, it was probably taken that time when they spent three days at the beach house. There was also a photo of him when he was looking afar through the window.  It was raining, and it added the melancholic effect on the shot seemingly that his posture was slouched. It was evident despite his back was facing the camera. There was also a shot of him when he was sleeping, a lonely tear threatening to fall.

 

Sho couldn’t believe it. All of these photos showed his ugly side, his miserable side, yet Jun still find it beautiful _(to the point Jun was even going to display those in such a prestigious exhibit)._ What confused Sho more was the fact that Jun chose him to be the model _(knowingly or not)_.

 

“Jun told me that it’s something he can’t bring back no matter how hard he tried.”Ohno continued.

 

Everything was mayhem in Sho's mind, in his heart, yet he felt touched. These shots definitely told Sho something about Jun.

 

“And the tenth picture…” Sho left the words hanging. It seemed Ohno knew what he wanted to know.

 

“…is the only one he wanted to display.” Ohno finished.

 

"It's still my picture?" Sho wanted to confirm. He didn't want to jump to conclusions yet.

 

"It's for you to find out, Sakurai-san."Ohno said. "Jun said he can’t have it, but the world deserved to see how beautiful it is."

 

Sho looked at Ohno with gratitude. His eyes were fogged with unshed tears.

 

"The exhibit will start at tomorrow evening, but I'm sure Jun will be there before lunch. He's one of the organizers, and you know how he is." Ohno said. Sho nodded, understanding Jun's perfectionist attitude and thankful about the new information Ohno had given him.

 

At that moment, it was up to him on what to do next.

 

Since it was pretty late already, Ohno excused himself, and Sho saw him out. At the door, Sho called Ohno, “Ohno-san… uhm….”

 

“Kazu said you and Jun-kun are the same.” Ohno commented instead, startling Sho for a moment before breaking into a smile. Ohno nodded to himself, “Now I see why.”

 

“Goodnight, Sakurai-san.” Ohno bid with a wave. He was about to walk away until Sho called him.

 

“Ohno-san…”

 

Ohno turned around, tilting his face to let Sho know he was listening.

 

“Thank you… for everything.” Sho said,

 

Ohno shook his head. “Just take good care of Jun.” Ohno said, his voice turning serious suddenly as he uttered, “He really needs it more than he admits it.”

 

Sho took notice of it but didn’t comment at Ohno’s sudden change of tone. He nodded, finding strength in his new resolved.

 

“And please take care of Nino for me.” Sho added afterwards.

 

Ohno grinned at that. His eyes were sparkling at the mention of his lover, “You don’t have to ask.” He replied.

 

Sho understood that Nino was definitely in good hands.

 

After Ohno left, Sho instantly went to get his phone. It might be bad calling at this hour, but he had no other choice. If he delayed it anymore, it might be too late already. Thankfully, Aiba had always been a good friend _(and an angel except for the fact that he was too meddlesome)_. The other man was willing to come over and watch over Shojiro as Sho set out to do what he should have done even before. Before the crack of dawn _(and with Aiba’s ‘Go get him tiger!’ comment)_ , Sho headed to the train station, got himself a ticket to get his ass in Okinawa.

 

 

 

 

 

Sho took silent steps upon entering the venue. No one was around, yet it felt Sho would disturb anyone if he made a noise. Taking Ohno’s advice, Sho arrived at Okinawa as early as he could. Sho didn't regret taking that train to be there at ungodly hour. The solitude gave him assurance that he and Jun could talk more privately seemingly there weren’t people around yet.

 

Sho paused at the doorway of a function hall. His breathe was caught in his throat because of the sight in front of him.  In the middle of dozens of beautiful framed pictures by nameless photographers displayed in there, only one caught his eyes. On particular, only one person did.

 

Sho couldn't help but gawk, too awed as he saw Jun standing there while looking at a picture frame at hand. Even if he only saw Jun's profile view, he could see Jun was glowing. It was like Jun was an ethereal being. The way he stood there was like art itself. The rays of the morning sun added its soft radiance. Too bad there was gloominess that surrounded Jun, and Sho knew he was the cause of it.

 

Sho watched as Jun sighed before turning his back towards Sho. He attached the picture frame he was holding on the wall.

 

Sho took it as a cue to come closer, silently as possible. The more he went closer, the more clearer he saw the picture that was previously in Jun’s. Sho's steps halted. His mouth opened in a silent surprised. The framed contained a black and white picture of him and his son. If he remembered it correctly, it was probably taken back to the day when he was sick, and Shojiro was bringing him breakfast. Jun captured the moment when Shojiro was reaching out a bowl of soup towards Sho excitedly, a happy smile adorning his face as Sho pressed a kiss in the little boy's forehead.

 

Ohno’s words rang loudly in his head, finally understanding everything.

 

_“Jun told me that it’s something he can’t bring back no matter how hard he tried.”_

 

"Morning Light..." Sho read within his mind the title he found beside the picture. Sho had to agree with the picture’s title, deeming it appropriate to the emotions that filled the said picture. Sho had the same thoughts that time too.

 

_(---_ _Sho hears a click after he kisses Shojiro. When he looks to the front, Jun is standing in the foot of the bed, smiling sheepishly while holding a camera. Jun has taken their picture secretly, but Sho can't find it in himself to protest. He just felt happy and contended. Shojiro, who finally gets what Jun has done, puts the bowl in the bedside table and demands to see the picture since Jun has taken it when Shojiro isn't ready yet. Jun playfully declines. Shojiro then starts persuading the younger male to comply._

 

_Sho smiles as he watches the two in a playful argument that ends up in a tickling session. Everything just feels right._

 

_Jun stops and looks at Sho in confusion while holding on Shojiro who keeps on giggling. "What?" Jun mouths with a small smile. Sho only manages to shake his head before Shojiro engages Jun to another tickling battle._

 

_"Everything’s bright and clear now." Sho says to himself as he watches the two most wonderful people that existed in his life. ---)_

 

Back then, Sho didn't really understand what he actually meant. It was just a thought in impulse. Maybe deep in his heart, he just knew it.

 

Sho took a soundless deep breath before he shortened the distance between him and Jun.

 

"You know…" Sho started.

 

Jun turned round abruptly, looking frightened. It was like he was caught in the scene of the crime.

 

“I could sue you for using me and my son as a model without my permission…” Sho continued. His eyes shifted towards the picture hanging on the wall behind Jun and back to the younger man as he ended his statement, “…Matsumoto-san.”

 

“Sho-san…” Jun gasped, looking straight towards Sho’s eyes.

 

Sho could see jumbled emotions in Jun’s eyes, but one thing was for sure that moment. _Yes, I can see it Jun. I’m sorry it took long before I finally saw it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m speechless! I’m really, really speechless! I had a few bumps and dead ends with this one. Thankfully, I managed to pull through. Thanks to the cheerleaders as mention above. We are down with only one chapter left!
> 
>  
> 
> The function hall scene was the first one that came in my mind when I was conceptualizing it. The result of it is me naming this fic as “Aperture”. Aside from the scene written in the summary, this will be my most favorite part. I might add the drawing later on if I managed to sketch it. Nurufufufufu~~~
> 
>  
> 
> So did Shojiro, Yuka and Ohno do great in convincing Sho? I know it took a lot of words and time, but I hope with this, you’ll understand Sho’s reason of why he is reluctant in pursuing Jun. If you’re confused or anything, just don’t forget to message me or comment here, and I’ll gladly answer it.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter 10 would be entitled Ten Seconds, and more revelations would be told especially about their first meeting. Better watch out though since the last chapter will have smut, but I’m sure you guys are looking forward to it. Nurufufufu~~~
> 
>  
> 
> Till then, yoroshiku onegaishimasu.


	11. Ten Seconds

"What a-are you doing here?" Jun stammered, taking a step back away from Sho. The older man’s presence there clearly shocked Jun. He was looking anything but Sho, as if looking for something, or someone. It was futile though since aside from the two of them, no one had arrived yet. When Sho entered the venue earlier, there was only one guard at post. It was quarter to seven, and Sho assumed people, especially the staffs, would come by at least before noon judging with how things work like that.  
  
But then, Sho didn’t really have to worry about it. All he needed to worry about was to get alone with Jun, and everything seemed to be working in his favor.  
  
Sho could tell that Jun was fidgeting, not knowing what to do around him. Sho couldn't blame Jun. He felt the same too. He didn't know how to react once he was only step away from the younger man. There were a lot of scenarios playing in his mind. Two of it was the top choices. One scene had Jun either pushing him away, or even landing a punch on his face. Sho wouldn't be so surprised if that happened. He totally deserved it. The second scenario he had in mind was Jun hugging him. It was a wishful thinking, and no matter how promising it sounded, Sho figured it wouldn't solve anything if it suddenly turned to that.  
  
Sho should be the first one to move. The question was ‘ _how’_.  
  
Sho took a deep breath. He could feel Jun's eyes were focused in him, and instead of meeting it head on, he directed his eyes towards the sole picture in the wall in front of him. Sho walked closer to the wall until he was standing beside Jun. Sho knew if he moved his hand, his fingers would brush against Jun's. He wanted to do so, but he restrained himself, and instead went to something he was familiar with.  
  
They said Sho was good with words. He could engage anyone with conversation and hold it for as long as he liked. He could daresay that eloquence was something he was gifted at. Yuka said so.  He wondered if telling his own feelings were included in that talent because right that moment, it seemed impossible.  
  
"I guess not." Sho murmured, earning a confuse look from Jun that Sho could see from the corner of his eyes.  
  
"It's beautiful." Sho said instead. Jun didn't comment, but Sho could hear Jun shifting beside him, probably turning around to look at the picture too.  
  
Jun was silent. Same went for Sho, but he dared to look at Jun, finding that the younger man was looking back at him. Rather than looking away, Sho held their gaze no matter how nervous he was feeling at that moment. Jun did the same, quirking an eyebrow towards Sho's direction. A challenge perhaps, but it was Jun who broke their eye contact, mumbling a soft, "Thank you."  
  
Sho smiled and lifted his gaze back towards the picture. He closed his eyes, reminiscing the day that the picture in front of him was taken.  
  
It felt like it was just yesterday. He could still hear the cheerfulness in his son's laugh, the scent of the freshly cooked porridge, and what he remembered the most was the warm presence close by.  
  
It was the same warmth beside him, and at that moment, it was trying to slip away as Jun tried to excuse himself, "Excuse me, I must be somewhere else. You can stay and look around if you like."  
  
Sho knew that if he let it slip away again from his hand, he would lose it forever as Jun said the words, "Goodbye, Sho-san."  
  
Sho didn't let it. Not that day, and not ever. Before Jun could turn and walk away, Sho grabbed the younger man's wrist, gentle yet firm. Jun's instantly looked at their hands before looking up at Sho. Jun's eyes looked frightened. There were unshed tears glistening in those eyes, and there was tension with the way Jun was standing. Sho could tell with the way Jun was staring at him that Jun was pleading to be let go.  
  
Sho couldn't. No matter how unfair he was, he just couldn't because he needed Jun in his life more than he admitted it.  
  
"Stay..." Sho breathed like saying that word was the only thing that would keep him alive. "Please stay..." He pleaded and tears finally flowed openly from his eyes. He wasn't just asking for Jun to stay there with him. He was begging for Jun to stay with him and his life.  
  
Jun moved, and Sho was ready to let go if Jun wanted out, but he only moved to get back to his previous pose, looking at the picture. Jun stayed. He stayed like all of those times that Sho kept pushing him away. Sho felt nothing but gratitude and love for the younger man.  
  
As minutes ticked by, they stood there side by side, looking at the picture silently. At some point, Sho boldly let Jun's wrist go and intertwined his fingers with Jun's instead. He squeezed gently to make sure that it wasn't a dream. Jun's hand didn't pull back; instead it squeezed back with same intensity. Sho couldn't help but smile before stealing a glance towards Jun. Sho's smile grew wider, finding out that Jun was in fact looking back at him. There were also tears in Jun's eyes, and despite Sho, himself, was crying, he reached out to cup Jun's cheeks, wiping the tears away. Automatically, their bodies turned so that they were facing each other. Jun's eyes closed as Jun's cheeks leaned closer against Sho's palm. It took for awhile before one could speak. Their dried tears were just remnants left in their cheeks. There was a long silence except that Sho could hear his frantic heart. Jun had stayed. In that moment, it was time for Sho to make sure it was worth the stay.  
  
"I'm not good with words, Jun..." Sho whispered admittedly.  
  
Jun opened his eyes and stared at Sho for a moment before his free hand grabbed Sho's hand on his cheeks and held it as Sho held his other hand earlier.  
  
"Not at least with these..." Sho continued, looking apologetic all of a sudden, but Jun was an understanding person. The younger man managed to calm his beating heart.  
  
"No one is, Sho..." Jun said softly, "Still you can try..." He urged with a smile.  
  
And Sho felt a little bit braver then.  
  
"I always thought that what I have done would be for the best." Sho started, and as Jun listened intently, he continued, "I didn’t want you to carry the baggage I had from the beginning." Sho halted his words, biting his lips in contemplation. He was thinking of what words to use since things were jumbled in his mind. Jun squeezed his hand as an act of encouragement, urging him to let it out without a rush.  
  
Sho looked away before continuing, “Shojiro, my divorce, my past… everything about myself, that’s why I lied to you and let you believe that I was married. I thought you would leave, but you didn’t.” Sho paused, looking back at Jun as he confessed, “At first, I thought the only reason why you stayed was because of lust and companionship, but I was wrong. Maybe, it's also my way of avoiding to commit into something deep that's why I choose to be blind."  
  
Sho looked at their joined hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of Jun's hand. He continued, "Honestly, I’m afraid to commit...Me and commitments just don't go together, you know." Sho smiled, trying to ease the atmosphere. It looked strained though. He didn't know how to react on it. When he looked up, Jun was still staring at him, listening to all of his words without judgment, just with full understanding.  
  
"I'm afraid I wasn't good enough so I keep pushing you away, but you stayed all throughout even if I don't deserve your love..." Sho looked at Jun's eyes. Tears started pooling in his eyes again, same as Jun. "Even now, I can't promise you anything... I'm still afraid, but I will try..." Sho said between tears. "I will try because I love you, and I want you to stay with me... With Shojiro..."  
  
Sho sniffed for a moment, smiling while still in tears. Jun was in the same state, couldn't decide whether to laugh or to cry, but he listened as Sho spoke out.  
  
"Jun..." Sho called before cupping Jun's cheeks and wiping the younger man's tears that fell. "I know I'm not in the position to ask this, but..." Sho paused for a moment, gathering his strength in voicing out his intentions. No matter how overwhelming things had been, he didn't let it to waver him, not at that moment at least. "Ohno-san said you can't have those two in your picture." Sho said, tipping his head towards the sole picture in Jun's wall for the exhibit. Sho could tell that Jun was confused at first, but the blush in the younger man's cheeks also told him that Jun had a sudden recount of spurting things in Ohno’s presence which was relayed towards Sho.  
  
"They are available now, and they pretty much love to have you in their lives if you're willing to accept them..." Sho offered, "Especially that sick bastard who was blind and an asshole." Sho added, successfully making Jun laugh again despite the tears.  
  
"Stupid!"Jun whacked Sho's head before pulling the older man for a kiss. When Jun pulled back, his lips lingered against Sho's smiling ones for awhile.  
  
"Of course, I accept them..." Jun nodded before wrapping his arms around Sho's neck. Sho's hands were around Jun's waist automatically. Jun pecked Sho's lips before pulling away just an inch away. "Especially that sick bastard I ended up falling in love with." Jun added against Sho's lips.Their lips were connected in an instant, and the kiss turned languid yet passionate until Jun pulled away suddenly, surprising Sho.  
  
"Nino..." Jun murmured, looking panic all of a sudden.  
  
"Nino?" Sho repeated. He was confused about why Jun would mention Nino all of a sudden.  
  
Jun looked worried, shifting his gaze away from Sho as he created a distance between his and Sho's bodies.  
  
"A-aren't the two of you together?" Jun whispered. His voice was shaky as he said each word. It was like he had done something horribly wrong.  
  
It took seconds before  Sho could decipher what Jun meant. Everything was clicking in Sho's mind as to why Jun would think that he and Nino were back together. He might have not confirmed if before with Jun _(since he didn't really had the chance to),_ but Sho could tell Jun knew Nino was his ex-boyfriend. Aiba, being busybody in their impromptu reunion especially after drinking lots of alcohol, confirmed it much.  
  
The day Jun was confined replayed in Sho's mind like a movie. He and Nino had been out together, but that was just to clear things up. Jun misunderstood their togetherness. He couldn't blame Jun. As he looked back at his and Nino's interactions, they did give off the feeling of being together. In the past, yes, but that day, they were together merely as good friends. Nino belonged to someone else already, and he definitely knew he belong with the person in front of him.  
  
Sho chuckled softly as he shook his head. Jun was confused with his answer, and Sho ended up laughing more. He knew it wasn't something to be laughed at, but Sho couldn't help himself. Jun was too adorable. Jun had shown him again how selfless the man was for thinking about others first. If anything, it seemed Jun would go the extremes of backing off and let him love whoever he wished. But that wasn't necessary. It was clear already to himself that he loved Jun, and in that moment, he fell in love more.  
  
“Sho-san, I-,”  
  
Before Jun could say anymore, Sho pulled Jun closerby his waist, placing a kiss in his forehead.  
  
"There's no me and Nino, Jun." Sho whispered against Jun's lips. "Maybe in the past..." He added as an afterthought before encasing Jun in an embrace and finishing it with, “there’s just you and me."  
  
There was a pregnant pause, and then Sho felt Jun's body shaking against his and heard muffled noises. When Sho pulled back, Jun was laughing.  
  
"I can't believe it..." Jun exclaimed. It made Sho raise his eyebrow in question. "You're actually a sap, Sakurai-san..."Jun remarked before erupting to a howling laughter. Instead of being offended, Sho was actually grinning. There was also a relief in his chest. He too ended up laughing together. The laughter echoed against the solitude of the hall.  
  
They stopped laughing after a few moments, just staring at each other's eyes. Sho was in awe once again with how beautiful Jun's eyes were, looking back at him. Sho couldn't help but voice out a question, "How can you do it, Jun?"  
  
Jun was puzzled at Sho's question, and Sho helped by clarifying it. "How can you look at me like that?"  
  
Jun was rendered speechless for the mean time, and Sho waited patiently for his answer. Jun smiled, "I love you..."  
  
And that was enough answer for Sho. In all honesty, Jun didn't need to say it. Sho had felt it in every way possible. He had seen the way Jun looked at him, warm and lovingly. He felt how Jun had cared for him, gentle and patient. And with the way Jun had held on to him, he felt secure and loved. Jun still saw beauty in him despite his flaws and imperfections, and the pictures Ohno gave him were another thing to prove it. The only question Sho had was what he did in his past life that he was lucky to have someone like Jun.  
  
Sho smiled as he felt his heart soaring. He titled his head to capture Jun's lips. Jun was meeting him halfway until...  
  
Click!  
  
Jun and Sho pulled their faces away from each other, looking flushed. They instantly looked at the source of the sound finding two intruders standing not far from them. One was holding the camera that had taken their picture while the other stood there with a sleepy demeanor.  
  
"I am so sending this to Ninomi. It's about time those two go for the mushy stuff." The one with the camera said, nudging the smaller man beside him, "Don't you think so, Oh-chan?"  
  
"You don't need to send that to Nino, Aiba-chan." Jun said, trying to sound compose despite still looking perplexed, he then glared at Aiba's companion, "I thought you'll come back later in the evening, Satoshi-kun?"  
  
The two culprits grinned at each other. Ohno shrugged while Aiba laughed like a hyena before admitting, "Well, Ninomi assigned me to make sure you guys stop running in circles. Whew! I thought we would go to extreme measures of tying both of you together." Aiba relayed, pulling out a rope from his jeans pocket as he said the last sentence for emphasis.  
  
Sho gaped and Jun grimaced. Sho ended up smiling after, thinking it was typical of Nino. And then suddenly Sho remembered something. "Masaki-kun, where is Shojiro?"  
  
"Oh don't worry Sho-chan. After I got a call from Oh-chan..." Aiba started, pointing his thumb towards Ohno, who affirmed with a nod, "I asked Becky to take care of Shojiro as I went here with Oh-chan to do Nino's bidding." Aiba assured Sho.  
  
"She'll be coming here with Juri nee-san, and they'll bring Shojiro with them for tonight." Ohno filled in while Aiba nodded in agreement.  
  
Sho raised an eyebrow, smiling in amusement at their friends. Some weird yet wonderful friends they had. In the next second, it dawned to Sho what Ohno had said. Sho asked, "Tonight?"  
  
"Don't tell me you came here without tux or anything for the opening of the exhibit?" Jun muttered beside him, tugging at their joined hands. Sho looked at it, loving the fact that they had been holding hands long before the sudden intrusion. Jun tugged it again, getting back Sho's attention. Sho looked up, looking sheepishly at Jun. The reason why Jun was there in Okinawa slipped out of his mind.  
  
"Well, I honestly came here unprepared." Sho admitted. His free hand was scratching the back of his neck. "I didn't think I'll be attending the exhibit after all."  
  
"You have to... I mean..." Jun said, suddenly looking perplexed. He bit his lips, avoiding Sho's eyes. "I was hoping you'll be my date at the opening." Jun murmured. The tinge of red was getting evident again in his cheeks.  
  
"Well, I'd love that." Sho smiled, "I can just rent a tux." He offered, squeezing Jun's hand.  
  
Click!  
  
Jun and Sho heard another camera click, and Jun instantly glared at Aiba.  
  
"WHAT? Nino asked for a full report. So I'm doing what I can." Aiba shrugged before taking more pictures. After several pictures were taken, Aiba paused, "Oh, and you don't have to worry about your tux Sho-chan. I brought your things with me. I figured if things worked out between you and Matsujun, you’ll be his date." Aiba added as he looked at his phone with Ohno peering over. They were probably in the process of choosing photos for them to send to Nino.  
  
“And that concludes the whole coverage.” Aiba announced, showing his phone towards Jun and Sho’s direction. The two, Sho and Jun, needed to narrow their eyes just to see Aiba's phone screen displaying that the pictures were sent before Aiba pocketed it. He patted his tummy afterwards and asked, “I’m starving. We should get breakfast ne?”  
  
Jun rolled his eyes before mentioning, “There’s a restaurant nearby. Let’s head there.”  
  
“Great!” Aiba cheered and headed towards the exit with Ohno, walking side by side. Along the way, Aiba got his phone again, shouting something along the lines of, _‘Oh! Nino said CONGRATULATIONS DUMMIES!,’_ before completely getting out of the hall.  
  
Sho shook his head, thinking that their friends got too carried away. He couldn’t really find fault about it though, but it was embarrassing. Sho just let it pass by and look at his lover. “Well, at least something good happened with them being here.”  
  
“Maybe…” Jun shrugged with a smile, before taking at step towards the exit. Sho looked at the picture once again before he felt Jun tugging their joined hands. Jun asked, “Is something wrong?”  
  
Sho shook his head again. He thought it was the exact opposite.  
  
  
  
  
  
That night, as the exhibit commenced, Sho was beside Jun all throughout.  
  
Like Aiba said, Becky did come with Juri and Shojiro. The boy was excited to meet Jun again after not seeing _'his an-chan'_ for quite some time. As Shojiro entered the venue with Becky and Juri and spotted them, rather than greeting his father, Shojiro ran towards Jun. The boy instantly hugged Jun after being hoisted up. Of course, Jun was overjoyed at Shojiro's gesture especially when the boy gave a paper-made flower as congratulatory gift. He probably learned it from school.  
  
Sho just happily observed from the side, not minding it one bit. He rather loved the scene of Jun and Shojiro together.  
  
Sho was then officially introduced to Juri as Jun's lover. When Juri looked at him, Sho felt cold sweat running at his neck. Juri's eyes were intense just like Jun's, beautiful but definitely intense. Something was telling Sho that if he got into Juri's bad page, he would get something worse than that.  
  
Sho also met again Jun and Ohno's colleagues that he met in the bar before when he first met Jun. Sho couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Jun being flushed and embarrassed as people poke their heads about his and Jun's relationship. Nevertheless, Sho was happy he finally met people who were always around Jun.  
  
Sho felt proud that he got the chance to stand by Jun's side for that night, to be Jun's date for that wonderful event. He was there to witness Jun in a new perspective. It wasn't anymore glancing from the back or from a far, but rather from beside the man.  
  
People passed by, praises and greetings were given not just to Jun but also to Sho for being the model. Of course, he humbly pointed out that it was all Jun, and it just happened that he was the photo's subject. Jun was supposed to be the main star of the night, yet there he was, standing beside the younger man. It felt that Jun was sharing that moment with him. Every time Jun would looked at him or squeeze his hand, Sho couldn't help but think that he was standing there as Jun's equal.  
  
It might be too early to think like that, but it would come to that right? _Yeah, it would come to that._ They had come far after all.  
  
  
  
  
  
The night was still young when Sho and Jun decided not to linger. People still kept on coming, but they left the venue together with their friends, family, and colleagues. Ohno, together with his co-workers with Jun, took the train back to Tokyo since there was a scheduled photo shoot tomorrow. _(They mentioned something along the lines of having a scary boss, and if they didn't open the studio as scheduled even though it was a Saturday, that scary boss would explode. Jun took that as a compliment with a smirk though.)_  
  
Together with Juri, Shojiro, Aiba, and Becky, they went back to the hotel where they were all checked-in. Since it was pass bedtime, Shojiro was put to sleep. Juri – _who was now looking at Sho with mischievous eyes_ – volunteered to let Shojiro sleep at her room since the boy's things was with her anyways.  
  
Aiba and Becky decided to take that chance to explore Okinawa's night life. It seemed they were hanging out more often lately. When Sho asked the lanky man what the real score between them was, Aiba blushed and said that they were just getting to know each other. Sho left it to that, observing how comfortable and happy the two were in each other's company.  
  
As they walked through the hallway of the hotel, Aiba told Sho that his things were delivered already in Jun's room. After that, Aiba whispered something to Sho's ears, "Don't worry, I've come prepared so there's lube. Oh! There's also a rope in case you're into that stuff." Aiba tried to wink afterwards.  
  
Sho was flushed and instantly smacked Aiba at the back of the latter's head. Jun and Becky, who were busy talking about the kids back in the kindergarten since Becky was relaying how Jun was missed by those bunch, looked at them puzzled. Aiba laughed while Sho palmed his face in embarrassment. As Aiba and Becky shared mischievous grins afterwards, something was telling Sho that the two was in it together. Sho decided that those two would get along just fine.  
  
They arrived in front of Sho's and Jun's room. Aiba and Becky then said their goodbyes and left. Sho leaned his side at the wall while Jun opened the door. Once done, Jun looked at Sho. A playful smile in the younger man's features as Jun grabbed his hand led him inside.  
  
It felt like déjà vu with Jun leading Sho the way. It wasn't at empty streets going to Jun's apartment building anymore though. It was just in one hotel room going to the balcony that oversaw the beach. There was solitude, and Sho felt his heart would jump out of his chest as Jun held his hand tighter.  
  
Jun leaned back on the banister, pulling Sho against his body with the older man's tie. There was a blush in his cheeks, and Jun looked so adorable in Sho's eyes.  
  
There was silence. The soft buzz of the sea nearby could be heard. Flies sang the nature's song for the night. Jun and Sho's soft puffs of breathe created a harmony with it.  
  
No one between them knew what to do next. Jun had his head hang low while playing with Sho's tie, and Sho watched it with amusement. When Jun gazed straight back to Sho's eyes through his bangs, he looked shy all of a sudden.  
  
Maybe it was the serenity of the night, the soft clash of the sea in the shore, or the warmth of the proximity of their bodies against each other that made Sho initiate a kiss. Jun met his lips halfway and before he knew it, their lips were dancing in a languid rhythm.  
  
Next moment, Jun had pulled Sho back inside and towards the bed. Things got a little bit faster as they discarded their outer layers. Suit jackets were carelessly thrown on the floor. Ties were loosened and removed while at least two buttons of dress shirts were unfastened along the way. Their kisses were getting hot and needy. Tongues caressed each other in the process, and lips were getting red and bruised with the intense kissing.  
  
Jun pulled Sho closer than possible, trying to get much heat from the man. Upon reaching the bed, Jun was laid against the mattress with Sho hovering over the younger man. He ended up straddling Jun with one hands supporting his weight while the other roamed all over Jun's body. Sho's lips was spreading feather-like yet burning kisses in Jun's face, gentle and tingly. There was a sensual moan version of his name from Jun's mouth, sending a jolt in his body and going directly south.  
  
Sho followed, alternating between trailing licks downwards and nipping at Jun's jaw until Sho settled in the nook of Jun's neck, leaving a mark. Jun arched his back, feeling Sho's firm caresses in his arms and sides. Jun writhed with want, responding to Sho's ministrations with demand and intensity. Jun's hands ended up at Sho's back, grabbing as much as he could. It was like they couldn't get enough of each other, or probably that was the actual reason.  
  
Sho pulled back just enough space to land his forehead against Jun's since they needed a breather. Sho opened the eyes he didn't realized he had closed. Eye to eye, he and Jun stared at each other. Both eyes darkened and hazed with lust, want... But there was love.  
  
Sho's hand went to Jun's neck. A simple caress was place until he felt a cold metal around Jun's neck. He smiled at it when he recognized it.  
  
"You still wear it?" Sho mused at the necklace. It was the couple necklace they got for free in their three-day trip before.  
  
Jun was confused for a moment until he realized which Sho was talking about. He looked at Sho's bare neck and frowned. "And you're not wearing it..."Jun commented along with a pout. Sho couldn't grasped a tinge of disappointment in Jun's voice when he said that.  
  
"Well, Shojiro has it."Sho explained.  
  
Jun blinked at Sho before his mouth formed in an 'o'. Sho couldn't tell whether Jun was mad or happy about it, so he further explained why he had Shojiro wear the necklace."When I thought I won't see you anymore, I let Shojiro wear it. I know it might be petty, but it just give me joy knowing the two of you have it," Sho paused, touching the pendant with his forefinger, "You two are my picture perfect." He said before kissing the side of Jun's mouth.  
  
Jun gasped, looking touched, but the sudden shift of Jun’s facial expression a moment later puzzled Sho. It looked like he was overjoyed. It was as if Jun remembered something that he would like to say, but didn't know how. Under him, Jun became stiff, looking away. There was a sudden nervous shake in Jun's body, and Sho wondered if he did something wrong.  
  
"Is something the matter?" Sho asked, sounding concerned. He sat up first to give Jun more room to breathe while still straddling the younger man.  
  
There was a rosy blush in Jun's face. The moonlight seeping from the opened doors leading to the balcony made it clearer to be seen. Jun bit his lower lip, looking away for a moment before looking back again at Sho. He sat up too and adjusted himself so that his back was leaning against the headrest. Sho crawled closer, but maintained enough distance so that Jun wouldn't feel too crowded.  
  
Jun puffed a breath out before saying, "I think we should get another pair of these," Jun suggested. Before Sho could speak, he continued as he held the pendant between his thumb and forefinger, "So that there's one for me, one for you, one for Shojiro, and...,"Jun paused. His eyes didn't falter from staring at Sho's eyes as he grabbed Sho's hand with his free hand, leading it to rest at his still flat tummy. "…another one for…." Jun let the sentence hang in there, trusting Sho to decipher what he meant.  
  
Sho was lost for words that moment, trying to digest what Jun had said. At first, he couldn't understand it until Jun spoke to enlighten him, "There will be four of us in our picture perfect." Jun revealed. His smile was shy yet blooming in ways Sho couldn't explain.  
  
It started to finally click in. Jun's shy expression, the stomach touching, the implications, and there was the number. Him, Jun, Shojiro and then...  
  
Sho's eyes widen in surprise, his gaze shifting back and forth between Jun's face and his hands on Jun's tummy. A goofy and cheerful smile formed in his lips as it dawned to him what Jun actually meant.  
  
"I'm not dreaming right?" Sho asked, still not believing.  
  
Jun chuckled before shaking his head, laughing afterwards when Sho gaped with mouth open.  
  
"We're going to have a child?" Sho asked. His voice was an octave higher due to the excitement. When Jun gave another nod for confirmation, Sho dived in to capture Jun's lips in a searing kiss. His arms instantly around Jun's waist while Jun's hands held to his shoulders. It maybe the joy and excitement, but each connection of the lips and swipe of the tongues intensified. Sho just felt like he was the luckiest person alive.  
  
They paused for awhile to catch theirs breathes Sho's forehead was again with Jun. His hand was propped beside Jun's hips while the other was rubbing Jun's arms gently in an up and down motion.  
  
Jun had his eyes closed already, his palm was flat against Sho's chest while his other hand thumbing Sho's lower lip.  
  
Sho wanted to do this right, and so he voiced it out, "I want you."  
  
Jun opened his eyes. There was a lovely smile tugging on his face. Jun leaned forward until his mouth touched Sho's ear. He whispered, "You don't have to ask."  
  
Jun's body was lenient under Sho's eyes. It was an act of total submission, placing full trust in Sho to take the lead, and Sho did.  
  
Sho took his time, savoring everything that was laid for his eyes to see. One by one, he discarded layers of their clothes while peppering Jun with small kisses. Their dress shirts were thrown on the floor, followed by their pants and underwear, leaving them fully naked in front of each other side. Underneath him, Jun was glowing, just like that time when he first arrived at the function hall earlier when he was trying to salvage their relationship. That night, it was a different glow though because it wasn't tainted anymore with gloominess but just pure bliss and happiness. Sho wanted that it would stay that way forever.  
  
Sho leaned in, engaging Jun into a passionate kiss. Jun moaned as Sho's tongue explored his mouth. Sho's hands were travelling downwards. One found itself at the side of Jun's hip as a foundation for balance while the other caressed Jun's side .  
  
"Ah, Sho~~~"Jun moaned, tilting his head to the side when Sho started sucking at the neck. His hands were grasping the sheets as his sensitivity heightened with Sho's face went lower until Sho's mouth found a nub, alternating between sucking and softly biting it. Sho's free hand then started pinching it softly before Sho's mouth gave it the same amount of attention it did to the other before. Jun's breathe turned erratic, gasping as Sho went lower. His body gave an excited tremble as he felt Sho's hand holding each of his thighs to part it open. There was a hitch in his breathe when Sho huffed a breath in the head of Jun's hardened cock.  
  
Sho looked up, finding that Jun was looking at him, sweaty and flushed. Jun's eyes were once again clouded with lust, and the younger man's lips were slightly parted. The enticing sight sent a delicious jolt in Sho's body. In particular, his cock became harder and livelier.  
  
Sho took Jun in his mouth in one go, making the other man moan out his name. He bobbed his head up and down, hallowing his cheeks before licking the tip like he would do to a lollipop while his hand pumped the rest that he couldn't cover.  
  
Sho took a glance in Jun's eyes again, humming in satisfaction after knowing that Jun propped himself up by his elbows just to observe him. Of course, Sho gave him a show, swiping his tongue over the head that was already leaking with pre-cum as he stared at Jun intently.  
  
"AH FUCK SHO-SAN!" Jun cursed wantonly as his elbows gave up.  
  
Sho might have been angry with how Jun had addressed him, but it sounded so sexy in his ears. Sho let it slipped and just continued with his ministrations, taking Jun wholly till Jun's tip reach his throat. His hands were rubbing Jun's thighs before he held Jun's hips to stop the younger man thrusting in his mouth. He did allow Jun to grip his hair, letting Jun to drive his pace in taking Jun's cock inside his mouth. Sho took it without complains.  
  
"So close..." Jun panted as a warning, and Sho let it, helping Jun in his pending orgasm. Seconds later, Jun released everything in Sho's mouth. The older man taking as much as he could until Jun's cock became placid, and Sho released it with a last lick in the tip.  
  
When Sho looked up, Jun's forehead were full of sweat. His hair sticking in it, and Sho crawled up and reached out his hand, wiping the sweat and brushing away the bangs with the back of his palm. Sho and Jun got themselves in a lip lock, as Sho pressed his body weight against Jun's. Sho moved away moments later, earning a disapproving grunt from Jun. When Sho came back, he had a small bottle of lube at hand.  
  
Jun rolled his eyes as if saying 'this wasn't our first', but Sho wanted to do it properly despite being impatient himself. He kissed Jun's forehead before positioning himself between Jun's legs. He lifted them up, uncapping the bottle as he coated his fingers with its contents.  
  
Jun was looking at Sho in anticipation, biting his lower lip.  
  
Sho traced the ring of muscles in his view before penetrating it with one finger. Jun's face contorted, showing uneasiness, and Sho tried to soothe it with kisses in Jun's body. Another finger was added and another, trying to loosen Jun's walls.  
  
As Sho's fingers continued to thrust inside, Jun mewled especially when Sho hit the spot. One of his hand gripping at the sheets while the other gripped at Sho's shoulder. He opened his eyes he unconsciously closed earlier and looked straight at Sho. "Inside now..." Jun moaned. His own cock came back to life.  
  
Sho removed his fingers and instantly coated his cock with lube. He leaned his face toward Jun's and kissed Jun to distract the younger man as he inserted his cock in Jun's hole slowly but deep till he was complete sheathe. There was a combined groan and moan that escaped their throat only to be swallowed in their heated kiss. Sho didn't move at first, allowing Jun to adjust. Sho took that time to explore Jun's mouth deeper, sucking on Jun's tongue. Sho broke the kiss as he trailed the saliva that flow from Jun's mouth until his mouth reached Jun's neck and sucked on it.  
  
"Move..." Jun panted, and Sho complied.  
  
It was a slow rhythm at first. Sho's hips were snapping back and forth, rocking their bodies in the process. Jun's hands found itself around Sho's shoulders as Jun nipped at Sho's ears. Sho's thrusts picked up its pace especially when Jun's started meeting his thrusts.  
  
Sho could hear the sound of skin against skin and the fusion of his moans and groans with Jun's. He could smell the mixture of sweat and sex filled the room, but nothing could beat the feeling of having Jun in his arms as they moved their bodies in harmony. It wasn't their first yet it felt so new. That night, they were making love with a promise of tomorrow.  
  
When Sho felt that his release was coming soon, Sho’s hand grabbed Jun’s cock between them, pumping it with the same rhythm as his thrust. Jun’s face hid itself against Sho's neck as Sho held the younger man closer.  
  
When Sho was at his peak, Sho pulled away slight, just enough to see Jun who was thenstaring back at him.  
  
"I love you..." Sho mouthed before kissing Jun passionately. After a few more thrusts, Sho released inside of Jun shortly followed by the younger man. Their bodies were shudderingfrom the shock of orgasm.  
  
Feeling he could no longer hold himself up, Sho's body landed by Jun's side. They stilled for a moment, trying to catch their breathes. Sho mustered all the strenght he could and lifted Jun, so that at least half Jun's body was in lying on top of Sho.  
  
There was a surprised yelp from Jun, but there wasn't any protest. He was rather enjoying the new position as he nuzzle his nose agaisnt Sho's neck. They lied there completely sated, baskedintheaftermathofmakinglove until Sho called, "Jun..."  
  
"Hmm?" Jun hummed, looking up to Sho.  
  
  
"You're beautiful..." Sho said.  
  
"Please don't mention Nino's name after that, or this time I'll punch you in the guts." Jun reminded playfully.  
  
Sho blinked, confused for a moment until he remembered the last time they made love. He realized his mistake back then, finally knowing the reason why Jun though he and Nino were back together. It was also why the younger man started avoiding him. Sho frowned. Although Jun said it in a light manner, trying to add humor, he couldn't help but feel guilty. His careless mumbling had cause him to almost lose Jun.  
  
Sho felt Jun's fingers in his forehead, smoothing the frown in there. He had a genuined smile when he reassured Sho that, "It's in the past already. We're here now right?"  
  
Sho nodded and kissed Jun's palm that his lips could reach. He said instead, "I love you, Jun..." He felt that he hadn't said it enough.  
  
Jun's eyes were getting droopy then, but there was a contented mile as he mumbled sleepily, "I love you too..."  
  
Jun finally succumbed to sleep, and Sho watched till he too fell sleepy. Sho kissed both of Jun's eyes and forehead before Sho followed his lover in dreamland.  
  
  
  
  
It was early morning when Sho's eyes fluttered open. Jun's musky but sweet scent blasting his nostrils was the first thing he noticed after waking up with Jun's nape against his nose. He had his arms around Jun's waist, spooning the younger man. His palm and fingers were spread out on Jun's still flat tummy, acting like a protection.  
  
"I'll protect all of you... you, your older brother and your daddy... I'll make sure of that..."Sho promised inwardly, hoping that the hand on top of Jun's tummy would deliver the message to the small bundle of joy growing inside of Jun's tummy.  
  
Sho could hear Jun's calm breathing. It was an indication that the younger man was still soundly asleep. It would have been perfect if Jun was facing him. He could spend that moment by watching Jun while still asleep. It might be creepy, but Sho was betting to himself that it would be one of his favorite past time in the morning especially if he woke up first than the latter. Nevertheless, their position was still satisfying. Jun's was warm against him, and Sho couldn't ask for more. It was comfortable, and it just felt right.  
  
Sho could have fall asleep again as minutes passed by. The chirping birds outside and the soft rush of the sea blended with Jun's small puffs of breathe, acting as his morning lullaby. But he felt Jun shifting in his arms, making him alert and worried that he might have woken his lover accidentally. Jun turned around with closed eyes, and Sho thought Jun was still asleep until the latter's eyes opened.  
  
Jun's eyes were laden with sleepiness, but his voice was full of mirth when he gave a remark despite doing so in a whisper, "You weren't snoring..."  
  
It sounded like it was Jun's explanation as of why he was woken up. Sho showed his amusement with a laugh. Instead of saying a retort, he just pecked Jun's lips as he tightened his hold around Jun's case.  
  
Jun's eyes closed at the contact automatically. A small beautiful smile gracing his lips, and Sho found everything about Jun more exquisite than ever. The soft glow of the morning light added its flare to that beauty.  
  
Everything felt blissful then. Everything just felt right as it clicked to its places in Sho's life. He had Jun in his arms, a new family member to welcome, and precious moments to cherish forever. All of those were Sho's picture perfect despite the blurs and mishaps that had and could happen.  
  
 _(That also included Jun suddenly grasping out of Sho's hold to run towards the bathroom in favor of throwing up. Based on his experience with Yuka before, Morning sickness could be nasty, and there were also Jun’s constant changes of mood to mind later on for sure.)_  
  
Sho doesn't mind. Pictures aren't perfect. People aren't too. They just need to open their hearts to focus on what is important.  
  
 _It's love..._  
  
  
  
  
  
 **Fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY FINISH THIS! I ACTUALLY DID IT, AND FOR THE RECORD IT ONLY TOOK ME THREE MONTHS TO FINISH A CHAPTERED FIC!!! GAAAAH! 
> 
> Sorry about the caps-lock abuse. It’s just that this is the first time I achieve such feat considering I have been writing fics since 2007. Although, this isn’t the first time I have finished a chaptered fic (and I can tell you that those fics I finished can only be counted with one hand. OTL), but doing it in 3 months (almost four if you counted the times I was saving the first two chapters) is really, really surprising for me. 
> 
> I won’t say anything anymore, but to express my deepest gratitude to all of you who have been with me from start till finish. I couldn’t have accomplished all of this without you, wonderful readers. Thank you! I hope you have enjoyed reading it till the end. I also wish that you learned something from this even if I did this out of pure entertainment. Thanks again.
> 
> Special thanks to my confidants who kept motivating me to continue writing: (1) [akhikaru](akhikaru.livejournal.com), (2) [octavialao](octavialao.livejournal.com), (3) [neenomeow](neenomeow.livejournal.com), and (4) [mcfib29](mcfib29.livejournal.com). If they weren’t there, I might have stopped in the middle of all of this. 
> 
> Thanks again for tuning in. Comments are wholeheartedly accepted. Please do tell me too what part of the story you like, or what aspect of this story the hook you in. Thank you!
> 
> P.S. You see it's only 11 of 12 right? You know what it means ne? Jya, matta ne! :3


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